Do you have a ‘f**k’ off fund

[Jay36]

Was talking to a few friends today about the idea of having a ‘f**k off fund’ after seeing this idea going round on social media.

The idea is that you have enough money saved that you can easily access to give you the opportunity to say ‘f off’ if you hate your job and just need to quit/if your relationship isn’t working out and you just need to leave.

Think it’s a good idea but how feasible it’ll be for most is questionable? What about you? Do you have a ‘eff off fund’

I was advised to have a getaway find when I got married , divorced 20 years later and wish I’d had one to save a lot of money worries, a few years on now and everything is rosy

@MatildaTheCat

Not new, I’m in my 50s and my grandma advised me that all women should have a running away fund. She was born in 1908.

Same here. My grandma was of the same vintage.

She had one, her daughter had one, now I have one.

I have enough for a rental deposit so far should I need. This is seperate from our family savings. Because again I learnt from childhood you never know when it might be needed.

I guess I do because we don't share or discuss each other's finances and I have a lot of savings. If he asked me what savings I had I'd tell him I guess but we don't ask each other as money's not an issue

No, we barely have enough to live.

No.

I didn't have one, then I inherited some money and fucked off.

I absolutely would if I could.

Yes, my great aunt advised me to have one and she was born in 1900

I have an emergency fund and a separate 'running away' fund.

My best friends mum had an abusive relationship and would often tell us to make sure that we were financially independent and had access to money if we needed to.

I had to suddenly leave a relationship years ago, and was very lucky that I could move back home and save.

@Nocaloriesinchocolate

Slightly different point but if your DP/DH died suddenly (checks DH to see if he is still breathing) would you be able to manage financially until probate? Ie do you have individual access to enough money to tide you over?

If you have life cover in Trust it will pay on presentation of the death certificate no requirement for probate on that

yes, havent touched it for 10 years. But mine is the "i fucked up" fund. If I need a new washer/dryer/car whatever

Yes. DH knows about my “running away fund”. He was shocked at first, but understands and I e never had to use it! 😄I’ve maintained it for 20 years. 3 months salary, approx. All our other finances are 100% joint and transparent. My father left my mum in a terrible financial mess and I vowed I’d never be the same.

No. But I own the house, DP has never paid the mortgage, or for any maintenance. I have no claim on his car, he has no claim on mine.

I did not have this sort of arrangement in my marriage. We had joint finances, and shared savings, which got drained by exH. So when we split, despite him wanting to keep the house, and DDs and I wanting out, I couldn't get anywhere to rent or buy, until we had a financial agreement. I was stuck for months, while he broke my stuff, and verbally abused me. I will NOT be in that situation again.

@inininsomnia No bodies under the patio 🤣🤣

I always have about £5k in a savings account but I don't view it as a fuck off fund as I think it's a bit negative.

I see it more as an "emergency money should anything happen to dh" fund!

Yep. There's six months of savings for unavoidable emergencies, and savings to chuck in our jobs if we need to.

Which I did, badly needed, last year. Fortunately I was also able to get severence also, so I didn't need to use it.

Took seven months off recovering my physical and mental health, in spite of the dire warnings by MN that employers would QUESTION an employment gap (none of them asked, I brought it up myself, and none of them were phased). Got a new PT role to pay the bills whilst fitting around training. Took up matched betting, and making enough on the side with that to almost top up my wages to my previous salary in less working time.

I grew up in an abusive household. Being able to walk out the door or kick him out is the only way I could sleep at night.

I believe it’s extremely important that we teach our children, but especially our daughters, to never be in a position where you can’t afford to get out. That means if you can’t afford to move out, you can’t afford to move in. I’d be thrilled if we made a societal switch from parents contributing to weddings to parents contributing to F-off funds.

Yep. DH and I split a few years ago and I had absolutely nothing and nowhere to go. The house was inherited from his father so not "mine".
Fortunately we sorted all it out and things are good but I have had a fund ever since because I will not let myself and my children be put in that situation again.

Absolutely, this is good advice as you never know what will happen x

I have savings. Not specific savings but if I needed to duck off with them I could, does that count?

Yes, important to have.

@Chely

I have a financial cushion that I am building up. At one point it was a get out of my marriage fund but then we sorted all that out and I spent most of it on a new patio instead.

Did you sort it out by burying DH under the new patio?

I didn't and lived to regret it. I worked & did all domestic stuff with three kids, ex didn't for years (mental health issues) but I stupidly let him sort the finances leading to him taking a pile of money I'd earned when we split........ It was, however, still worth it to be free🤸👏

I have enough saved to live for 6 months with no job if needed. Its taken me 15 years to save that much on top of paying normal bills etc so hoping I never have to use it but its a good safety net