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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My mum was exposed to Covid and then had my now poorly son for the night

57 replies

gettingabitfedup · 17/01/2022 22:05

My toddler became unwell yesterday. Firstly waking up all snotty so I suspected just a cold but in the evening he had a temp of 38.8, became lethargic and floppy, difficult to wake, and tachycardic. We were so scared that we called 111 who sent out paramedics to check him. He suddenly bounced back despite the temperature so they weren’t worried. Today he’s been on and off, we’ve been cycling calpol and nurofen, there was a time this evening where he was inconsolable, we’re keeping a close eye.

Anyway, my mum had him last Wednesday and it turns out that she had allowed her employee back into the office despite her daughter having Covid. As far as I’m aware, the employee warned her that she had not isolated for long enough and my mum told her to come back in anyway as she had ‘missed her’. It’s just the two of them and they sit closely together.

She did not make me aware of this and we have all been around her, I found out on Facebook on a group I was invited to.

I haven’t told her I know as to be honest I am angry about it, and worried my toddler has Covid. We’ve tried a couple of tests on him but they keep saying void because it’s just too difficult. I know if he does there is nothing we can do now.

She has asked to have him again this week and I have said I am keeping him home until this subsides. She keeps telling me that she will ‘see how he is on X Y Z’ and not taking no for an answer.

She’s adamant that is just a cold but really pushing the whole cold thing. It could just be a cold. But I am upset that she has risked my son and even now isn’t listening or making me aware of her employee.

Maybe I’m being over the top but I don’t think I am? It’s horrible to see him like this and whether it’s a cold or not, she allowed someone who had been directly exposed to Covid into her home (she has a home office), and asked to have our son for the day soon after.

I don’t know; am I overreacting?

As I said I’m just keeping him home and watching him very closely as I am feeling anxious. But if I’d known about her employee I wouldn’t have allowed him to go.

OP posts:
narcdad · 17/01/2022 22:07

Sorry but your being over the top.

HaggisBurger · 17/01/2022 22:09

You’re totally overreacting - yes.

But glad your little one bounced back. It’s frightening when they get poorly. But any one of you could be in close contact with people with Covid at the moment - and the risk to healthy children is practically non-existent.

Do you suffer from health related anxiety? Some of your phrases like “tachycardic” sound a little dramatic?

Sosososotired · 17/01/2022 22:10

Your mums colleague didn't have to isolate anyway so yabu. Hope your toddler feels better soon.

WaystarRoycoCEO · 17/01/2022 22:11

This sounds a bit ott really. It doesn’t sound like your mum or her colleague have shown any signs of having covid and presumably the colleague has been testing if they’re a contact? (I’m assuming unvaccinated otherwise they wouldn’t even need to be isolating)

Original poster
gettingabitfedup · 17/01/2022 22:11

In regards to tachycardic I’m just repeating what the paramedics told me @HaggisBurger - yes I have health anxiety but I am upset I wasn’t told in advance. There’s being in close proximity with people who have Covid because it’s life now and welcoming someone exposed directly to Covid into your home knowing about it

OP posts:
Schoolchoicesucks · 17/01/2022 22:11

Hope your son continues to improve.

Gently, I think you are overreacting. If her employee is double jabbed, she doesn't need to isolate despite her daughter having covid, unless she tests positive herself or has symptoms.

Has your mum tested? If she's not had covid, she can't have passed it to your son.

Does your son go to school/nursery? Do you go to work/shops? All are places where he could pick up a bug (covid is not the only one.)

Separately, if you don't want her to have your son for a sleepover, that's your call. She doesn't get to "not take no for an answer".

lljkk · 17/01/2022 22:12

Up to you where your son spends his time. yanbu on that

When? The employee's dd had covid - no one else in this story has had confirmed covid recently

When? The employee came to work where she spent time indoors with your mum
Wednesday 12th, Your mum minded your son
Sunday 16th your son came out very ill

I need to understand the timing of the When? events to figure out if your mum could possibly have passed Covid to your son on Wednesday 12th

BatshitBanshee · 17/01/2022 22:12

YANBU. Your son is sick and you want to look after him. Tachycardia and floppiness is very scary so I don't blame you for wanting to keep him home until this subsides. Even if it is "just a cold". Your mum isn't his mum. She doesn't make the rules.

I suspect her "just a cold" and not telling you about the friend/workmate may be in the hopes you'd never suspect or find out. I'd keep her at a distance and on ice, then drop it into conversation in a while. I don't like lying, and an omission is as good as a lie.

Original poster
gettingabitfedup · 17/01/2022 22:13

Monday 10th @lljkk

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 17/01/2022 22:13

But the colleague didn’t have to isolate? So neither of them have done anything wrong?

iolaus · 17/01/2022 22:13

Your mum wasn't exposed to covid, your mum was exposed to someone who was exposed to covid

It doesn't sound like your mother developed covid

However if the person wasn't vaccinated and should have been self isolating then I would be annoyed at them for breaking the rules)

HeadToToesNo · 17/01/2022 22:13

Yeah, you do sound a bit over the top. You'll likely have had closer contact than that in a shop or walking down the street.

HaggisBurger · 17/01/2022 22:13

Ah I see re the tachycardic comment.

I think I’d focus on maybe getting some counselling or therapy for health related anxiety. It’s really unhealthy for kids to grow up around that.

Original poster
gettingabitfedup · 17/01/2022 22:14

@iolaus she was supposed to be self isolating and did for a couple of days and then went back to work

OP posts:
TinaYouFatLard · 17/01/2022 22:14

Before all this is was quite normal for toddlers to get sick. It can be scary but they need to experience normal illnesses in order to build a healthy immune system. Now that it’s here, one of those normal illnesses is Covid.

RoomOfRequirement · 17/01/2022 22:15

So your mum was exposed to someone who was exposed to covid?

That describes probably 98% of the population right now. You're overreacting hugely!

Original poster
gettingabitfedup · 17/01/2022 22:15

@HaggisBurger I’ve already had CBT for health anxiety and have learned how to manage it around people, hence me not bringing it up to my mum and keeping my upset inside

OP posts:
Original poster
gettingabitfedup · 17/01/2022 22:16

Okay I guess I’m overreacting and will just have to wait for my feelings to subside. I definitely will be keeping him home until he starts to show improvement though. Thank you all

OP posts:
Lougle · 17/01/2022 22:17

Unfortunately vaccinated close contacts don't need to isolate anymore, so your Mum did nothing wrong. I think it's a bit of a stretch to think that your Mum passed it on, also, if the colleague didn't contract COVID and neither did your Mum (presuming they've been doing lateral flows).

LibrariesGiveUsPower · 17/01/2022 22:17

Yabu, it’s virtually impossible to avoid covid, it’s luck of the draw. Whatever your son is ill with is unlikely to be anything worse that a cold or general childhood illness would be for him at this age. My young DC are on their 8th snotty coughy bug since sept, and the one time it was covid they had barely any symptoms. Some of the other bugs have been much much worse for them, whatever they were.

It’s always worrying when young kids are ill, but covid is very low risk for this age group. I hope he’s fully better soon.

lljkk · 17/01/2022 22:18

So the theory is that your mum got it asymptomatically enough to give covid to your son on the 12th (from Colleague who also seems to have been fine with it), and Gran remains well, but your son is very ill with Covid starting 16th? That's unlikely that granny & colleague are both fine but kid is very unwell with it.

If you think he's now too ill now to fight off the Covid that you think Gran is about to certainly give him (but not suffer from herself... ). mmmm unlikely. But he's still your kid to be careful with as you see fit, of course.

I hope he gets better fast. Kids do that. Suddenly ill, suddenly better. They have amazing immune systems.

AutumnLeaves21 · 17/01/2022 22:18

You sound very dramatic and over the top. If the coworker was negative then there’s absolutely no reason for her to isolate. Stop being hysterical and get a grip before your health anxiety rubs off on your son.

HaggisBurger · 17/01/2022 22:18

[quote gettingabitfedup]@HaggisBurger I’ve already had CBT for health anxiety and have learned how to manage it around people, hence me not bringing it up to my mum and keeping my upset inside[/quote]
Ah I see. Your mum may still be aware of it and that’s perhaps why she didn’t mention this connection to the employee’s daughter. Because she knew you would be worried. I’m unclear as to why the employee had to self isolate if she didn’t hate Covid herself under current rules.

That said it is entirely up to you when you feel your child is well enough to be looked after by someone else. Your mum should respect your wishes.

Fuuuuuckit · 17/01/2022 22:19

On what grounds was the colleague supposed to be isolating OP?

HaggisBurger · 17/01/2022 22:19

I do also appreciate that the last 2 years must have been really really hard for people who already suffered with health anxiety Flowers

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