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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask your experience of apartment living and children

53 replies

yellowtwo · 17/01/2022 21:21

Our landlord is selling up so we need to look for a new home. Very limited amount of houses so looks like we most likely will have to try for an apartment.
We have a garden and I know we'll miss it.
If you live in a flat/apartment with children, what is your experience? I know it's something that people get used too, that we will have to get used too.
I'm trying to keep positive about the move.

OP posts:

Porcupineintherough · 17/01/2022 21:24

In the UK, not great. The apartment that was so great when we were a couple just wasnt suitable for family life.

In Spain, no problem. Everyone does it and both apartments and cities are set up for it.

MichaelAndEagle · 17/01/2022 21:28

What age are your children?
I live in a flat with a 14 year old and 9 year old.
Its big and in a nice area.
We do have a tiny bit of outside space. I use it, they never do.
I really don't mind it at all.

MichaelAndEagle · 17/01/2022 21:28

Meant to say they were 6 and 11 when we moved in. So not little kids.

Original poster

yellowtwo · 17/01/2022 21:49

5 and 6 Michael.
I know kids can be more adaptable than adults, so I'm hoping they won't mind as much as I think they will. Do your kids get to see/play with others in the complex?

OP posts:

MichaelAndEagle · 17/01/2022 21:58

We're in victorian terraced flats so not in a complex as such.
There are plenty of children in the flats though. Its quite a normal type of housing round here. Although most families do move on to houses if they can its certainly not unheard of for families to live in these flats.
Is the area in general family friendly?

liveforsummer · 17/01/2022 22:13

Are you in the UK? I live Near a city centre and more kids live in apartments than don't , even the pretty wealthy ones (I'm not one of those). Some have communal gardens with other dc that share so play that way, others don't and have to do a few more park trips. We are in a cul de sac so dc can go put and play although now at 8 and 12 they no longer do. Anyway it's fine and lots to do in our local area that I'm unwilling to trade for more space

anappleadaykeeps · 17/01/2022 22:23

I lived in a 2nd floor flat with DS9 and DD7 for a while. (No balcony, but shared grassy area outdoors). DS needed to let off steam outside more than DD, and it was difficult to persuade them both into outdoor shoes / coats / away from toys etc at the same time, and - then - 30 minutes later persuade them both that it was time to come back indoors. It was much easier when we moved to a cheaper area two years later, but had a house and our own private garden, so you could keep an eye on one child in garden and one child indoors when needed (and also get on with cooking tea etc)

One thing that did work in the flat was buying a second hand Wii from eBay, with the sports games. Helped get rid of some of the energy indoors, without always going down to the garden area outside.

katepilar · 17/01/2022 22:24

What exactly are you worried about? There is loads of people around the world living in flats ;)

ColdandFrosty1 · 17/01/2022 22:30

I live in a coach house with my 3 year old (so only 1 floor and a freezing cold garage) and we both love it. It's cozy and alot less effort to clean up plus I enjoy not having to worry about keeping a garden. I don't think he knows any different and he sees going to Grandmas house with the big garden as a treat rather than the norm if anything! At first I was sceptical and really worried about the space and the concept of no garden but if anything it just forces us to get out more and go for walks to the park etc.

Embracelife · 17/01/2022 22:33

Are there garden apartments in the area?

audweb · 17/01/2022 22:33

I raise my 8 year old in a flat, in a really urban area where it’s mostly flats. Lots of kids around they play outside together in the summer. The flat is big, so it’s enough space for us both. I think the size of the flat matters, living in an actual flat doesn’t.

Original poster

yellowtwo · 17/01/2022 22:55

I'm in Ireland, near enough to the city center.
Lots of kids around they play outside together in the summer. That's what I'm hoping for Audweb.
I had friends who lived in an apartment and they barely knew or ever saw their next door neighbour's, that's my worry I suppose, that it will be a bit isolating, going from knowing the neighbour's and kids on our road.
Embracelife, most of the apartment complexs i've been looking at have green areas so that's a plus.

OP posts:

Adeleskirts · 17/01/2022 23:00

Why would you know someone in a flat less than a house? That’s illogical right? And youcan manage your own situation accordingly, parks whatever ?

Luredbyapomegranate · 17/01/2022 23:02

I don’t think it’s hugely different to a house. If you can get a ground floor for direct access to outside that would be good, especially if it’s an old block and people are likely to hear the kids galloping on floorboards.

onlychildhamster · 17/01/2022 23:05

There are lots of kids in my flat block but I am in London. We have a communal garden and the kids play in it.

Adeleskirts · 17/01/2022 23:13

I think when kids grow up with not much money they know, they know how they compare to their friends, garden or no garden, and it’s not always a negative,

If required talk to your kids, but you and your partner are who you are, and being honest about it is critical, many of us grew up poor due to our parents, so just talk to them about rhis is why that’s all you can afford,

MimosaFields · 17/01/2022 23:18

I'm not in London and there are plenty of families in my apartment block. They mostly look like expats but not all. There are 80 flats in this complex and probably 30% are occupied by families.

onlychildhamster · 17/01/2022 23:28

@Adeleskirts flats are often built in expensive areas where the opportunity cost of buying a house is high/the cost per square metre is so high that that it makes financial sense to build multiple household accommodation; my flat was built in the 1930s so people were looking for cost efficient areas to live in the area even then! So am not sure about the link between lack of money and flat. Unless you are talking about council housing...In the uk, the trend is to upgrade to a house with garden in a further out suburb but thats also a personal preference. I do think that there are far fewer family sized flats in the UK outside of Central London...

NeverDropYourMooncup · 17/01/2022 23:32

Large, bright, airy ground floor flat with nice neighbours, grounds and instant access to the countryside/nature/nice parks and good transport - no problem.

Poky top floor council flat with a 6 foot by 4 foot kitchen, 2'6" wide doors and black mould due to zero insulation, non existent heating and no lift, together with assorted alcoholics, drug addicts and vandalism from randoms wandering by in search of trouble/somewhere sheltered to drink/shoot up/have a shit/wait for their dealer - not so good.

If you've got the money to get the nice version, it'll be fine.

MichaelAndEagle · 18/01/2022 07:21

@Adeleskirts I don't think the OP has indicated they are poor.

Camomila · 18/01/2022 07:28

We live in a 2 bed ground floor flat with a communal garden and I think DS1 (nearly 6) quite enjoys it, there's lots of kids from his block in the flats so they walk home from school together (with parents too!) and it doesn't take much organising for him to have a play date with with little boy across the corridor.

The one thing I would say is try to get a flat with wood/laminate rather than carpet - we have millions of tiny bikes and scooters and a pushchair in the corridor and I hate how it always gets muddy.

Camomila · 18/01/2022 07:30

*his school

Amelion · 18/01/2022 07:30

@Adeleskirts living in a flat doesn’t equal poor! Bloody hell, look in cities like Edinburgh where most of the housing stock in the centre is flats - especially eg in New Town gorgeous, Georgian flats with massive windows which you can easily spend an enormous amount of money on.

Amelion · 18/01/2022 07:32

Anyway @yellowtwo I think look for a flat with either a shared garden or very near to outside space which will help a lot in terms of burning off energy.

Original poster

yellowtwo · 18/01/2022 07:42

I hadn't even thought of a ground floor flat! That's given me something to look for.
Thanks all, Amelion that sounds lovely, I suppose as long as there are outside green areas it will make all the difference.

OP posts:

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