To ask your experience of apartment living and children

[yellowtwo]

Our landlord is selling up so we need to look for a new home. Very limited amount of houses so looks like we most likely will have to try for an apartment.
We have a garden and I know we'll miss it.
If you live in a flat/apartment with children, what is your experience? I know it's something that people get used too, that we will have to get used too.
I'm trying to keep positive about the move.

I was raised in an apartment and it had a big outside area. I remember it being wonderful. However, with my DS I would have only done it if it was ground floor.

We have a ground floor apartment now and its great. We have a small private outside space and a communal area. I find being overlooked really hard though. No one on our building bothers with each other which suits me.

I have an 11-year-old in an apartment right now and to be honest it’s not ideal it’s just for the fact that you can’t put the pets away from you there’s no downstairs for the pets to be kept in so they tend to sleep on my head at the moment I don’t want them getting used to that.

But also the outdoor space is something that you get used to and having that private outdoor space I love having barbecues in the summer having people around for drinks we can stay as long as we like we can drink whatever measures we want.

Grew up in one. It’s fine. Look for ex-council as they are usually better built and have more space. And my impression is that the price gap between a 2 and 3/4 bed flat is smaller than you might think. If you have super-active kids I hear good things about gorilla gyms.

We lived for a short period when DD was baby, it was great for crawling but you’ve passed this stage 🙂. My main problem was noise, apartments seem to be more thin walled then houses. I would say you need to develop a bit of thick skin or go for a ground floor flat because neighbors might constantly complain about noise from your children.
We’ve got a large area near by with terraced houses, which have very small back yards rather then gardens, so not apartments but very similar from outside space point. However there is a big park over the road and the local primary has a big playground. The area is very popular and all kids are playing/ getting together in a park and then at a school playground. We have friends there with 2 DC similar age and they absolutely love it. So I would look at the area with a park/ playground and maybe with similar housing, it’s a tricky to be the only child without a garden whereas all other children are playing in theirs.
Our other friends with DC live in a very different area (apartments with mostly professional couples) no park or playground near by, they are struggling a bit.

@orinocosfavoritecake not the point of this thread but looking for a 3 bed flat and its 300k more! But i guess the (nice sized) house would be more than double...I do find that big flats are more expensive than the traditional 2 up 2 down terrace even without garden so it doesn't necessarily mean that flats are the cheaper option.

But yes OP, try to spring for a 3 bed if you have children... I have noticed even retirees in my area prefer the 3 bed flats, i guess they have grandkids over and they can afford it.

We chose inside space over a garden, but we have access to several good green spaces nearby. My kids would love direct access to a green space but not at the expense of sharing a room as they would hate that, but it may be different for others.

Agree with others it really depends on what your proximity to quality green space is in general re flats.

As they get older, flats that have good local amenities (pool, library) can be better as they do more with friends and less pottering about in parks etc.

I live in an area where houses are expensive to rent and wages are low in comparison. We are a family of four and live in a flat (about 850sq ft) by the sea and a lot of families live where I am (a lot of them are holiday lets and aren't even occupied a lot of the time, so that has driven up prices ). We have a small bit of private outside space and some great communal areas, but have a great view, beach and amenities close by which makes up for it. We do have some interfering idiots who aren't happy about kids living here (I think they were hoping for a retired community instead, but I say sell your second homes/rental properties and then you will get one - we need to live somewhere!). However other than that it's ok and we manage.

Space is tight as we obviously don't have an attic or shed for storage, so you will need to declutter - I'm forever doing it.

One thing you will notice is that flats are built as holiday homes or for young professionals, so kitchens might be small and you will have a second bathroom you wished was more space for another room. Sadly they don't build flats for family life here, more for investment properties, which isn't ideal as a lot of families live in flats.

Some of the tips I suggest are:
-Declutter monthly
-Bunks in rooms for kids or a trundle as this saves space
-Make use of storage on top of kitchen units and have designated boxes
-Ikea kallax is great for storage
-Get the best flat you can afford in an area near decent green/outdoor space and you won't miss garden as much
-Be mindful of being able to park if you need to as some flats will have limited parking.
-Wooden floors if lounge, kitchen, diner is open plan. I have a two year old and the carpet and sofa are never clean.

I do like apartment living as you always know where your kids are, which for me is a bonus. I think if I move to a house it will feel smaller as we would be on two floors and we would probably be paying an extra £200-300 quid a month for a small garden and attic as the houses are not that big round here.

I have had a few snobby comments from people that I need to move into a house and I would like to eventually, but the thought of living in a house in the middle of a built up area seems worse to me. Besides, bringing up kids in a flat is not child abuse, and many of these people had cheap social housing designed with families in mind pretty much handed to them, and aren't aware that in big cities this way of life is the norm for many families.

Lots and lots of trips to playparks for outdoor space. On the positive side DS apparently ‘excels’ at climbing and balancing in PE - I think his peers with gardens only ever climb the same frames whereas he gets to experience a different playpark every outing

Also no stairs for small DCs to fall down, although windows and balconies can be an issue.

Thanks so much @SuitcaseOfWhine for all those tips.

I think the quality of the flat is a big thing. I lived in a flat with one young child and it honestly wasn’t a problem, but my friend has 3, flat is nice and spacious but their kids can’t make any noise, the neighbours find it unbearable. It’s very stressful for them having to ask their children to not run, jump, shout (which they aren’t doing excessively - just playing, dancing etc).

Ground floor flats usually have outside space and it sounds obvious, but make sure the flat has a bath for young children! So many flats that we saw had showers only!

I'd love a bath Colour but all the ones I've been looking at only have showers, but we only have a shower now at the moment anyway but good idea I'll keep an eye for one.

I never get the British drama about living in flats, a good chunk of the worlds population live in flats, yet in the UK there are people who seem to think it genuinely isn’t possible.

I’ve always lived in flats, everything being on the same floor is great, no taking laundry up and downstairs, no going downstairs to make a bottle at night. Like a bungalow, but cheaper.

@Simonjt it’s what we used to isnt it. if we grew up with no outdoor private space and then we wouldn’t know any better but most of us didn’t and would like to keep hold of it.

@Camomila

We live in a 2 bed ground floor flat with a communal garden and I think DS1 (nearly 6) quite enjoys it, there's lots of kids from his block in the flats so they walk home from school together (with parents too!) and it doesn't take much organising for him to have a play date with with little boy across the corridor.

The one thing I would say is try to get a flat with wood/laminate rather than carpet - we have millions of tiny bikes and scooters and a pushchair in the corridor and I hate how it always gets muddy.

But please don't do this if you're on an upper floor - the poor people below you will be driven crazy with the noise!

@Simonjt

I never get the British drama about living in flats, a good chunk of the worlds population live in flats, yet in the UK there are people who seem to think it genuinely isn’t possible.

I’ve always lived in flats, everything being on the same floor is great, no taking laundry up and downstairs, no going downstairs to make a bottle at night. Like a bungalow, but cheaper.

Absolutely. I've lived in flats for over a decade now (was in a house before that) and I just don't see the British obsession with houses being "better". My flat is bigger than the house I used to live in...

I'm in a city centre with lots of amenities, parks and green spaces. If I want to go to the countryside, it's easy to get a train or bus. I don't have kids, but plenty of people round here do. No need for a car either, unlike folks living in rural areas who have to ferry their children to and from activities miles away.

The construction of the flat is key. It’s fine if there is plenty of insulation against noise. Otherwise I imagine it could be miserable.

@Simonjt

I never get the British drama about living in flats, a good chunk of the worlds population live in flats, yet in the UK there are people who seem to think it genuinely isn’t possible.

I’ve always lived in flats, everything being on the same floor is great, no taking laundry up and downstairs, no going downstairs to make a bottle at night. Like a bungalow, but cheaper.

I agree! I've lived in flats since I left home 30 years ago. I prefer it. We've lived in our current flat for 20 years. DS is almost 17 so was born here. It's absolutely fine. It's an ex council 3 bed (+ study/store room) 2 bathroom in a small gated block. We do have direct outside access to a small garden area which is communal but due to the layout of the block only we really use it/access it. Plus a huge, secure communal garden which was great when DS was younger. Off street parking, on site laundry (we don't use it but could if we needed to).

@Simonjt

I never get the British drama about living in flats, a good chunk of the worlds population live in flats, yet in the UK there are people who seem to think it genuinely isn’t possible.

I’ve always lived in flats, everything being on the same floor is great, no taking laundry up and downstairs, no going downstairs to make a bottle at night. Like a bungalow, but cheaper.

In Spain our flat had plenty of room for storage, there was underground parking and each flat had a secure room to store bicycles/ski equipment/suitcases etc. You could dry your washing on the back balcony. It was spacious. Lots of good quality green space /play parks in easy walking distance. ...

Now try finding the same in the UK.

We love living in an apartment, it’s great having the bedrooms on the same level as the sitting room and kitchen especially for the kids waking ect. We have a park nearby so don’t miss a garden and it’s very quiet here too. It’s easier to keep clean than a house aswell being on the one level. No carrying a hoover upstairs😂

@Simonjt It might just be exposure. On mumsnet, a lot of people do come from towns where the vast majority of people who live in flats are council tenants. The issues they face do not come from living in a flat; and also I imagine if you have parents preoccupied with making ends meet, a garden is a free form of entertainment. Its like how for some poorer people, a TV is essential (according to a furniture poverty website I was looking at) but only because they may not be able to afford a laptop, projector or other streaming devices!

Lulu Lyttle (who designed Carrie Symonds flat and is married to a senior investment banker) has 3 kids and lives in a top floor lateral flat (2 flats knocked to create 1 long flat). Her flat is worth £4 million and she lives in Bayswater. she doesn't have a garden. She moved from a flat in Notting Hill to this flat. I don't think most people would tell her that her living quarters are inadequate for her children! Many people in central london live like that; there aren't that many houses in kensington!

My DH was born in London but he actually said many of his richer friends from secondary school lived in flats (was a faith school so had a large catchment). They lived in places like West Hampstead, Kensington and Battersea....

Playing outside is a pain in the arse. But my kids get presents from three of the neighbours when one was old enough to go out alone he was kept on the straight and narrow an eye on by the neighbours.

We lived in a flat until our DD was nearly 6. It wasn't so bad from that point of view. We were 1st floor so going down to the shared garden needed a bit more planning perhaps. We were really lucky in that the guy downstairs from us we got on with well and he didn't ever complain about noise and the people upstairs also had a small child. Lockdown was hard because we had to use the garden in shifts but hopefully that's a thing of the past.

Be aware of diffrent types of flats, i found there was a big diffrence between living in a block of flats and living in a flat above a shop.

The block of flats we got along with most our neighbours and would have friendly chats with eachother bar one who had strong opinions on the car park and created a mountain from a mole hill. Also we shared a comunal bin which was misused resulting in people leaving things such as a sofa next to it that sat there for months on end as the bin men ovs werent going to take it. My LO was a newborn when we lived there but the other children got along and played together nicely in the comunal garden but was anoyingly loud when playing in the coridoors or stairs when cold or raining.

Now living above a shop, we barely speak to any of the neighbors bar a good morning when passing etc. Its alot quieter than the block of flats and we do have a small ballcony area. Suprisingly we dont get any noise from the shops.

I'm not in the UK but I have three children in a flat. It has always been fine apart from lockdown which was a nightmare as we weren't allowed out at all and I would have loved a garden! I would also like an allotment but the waiting list is about 20 years long. Only you can really know if the garden is important to you. I did spend many, many hours of my life in the local park when they were little - luckily they can go on their own now.