Leave 9YO reading in car

[NellieWellietheEllie]

Quite often I'll nip into a shop on the way home from a day out. My son is 9 and loves reading. Recently I've been leaving him with his book while I grab the shopping with his little sister. He can be trusted to do nothing but read and it's only 10 minutes. AIBU? My other dilemma is whether to leave car locked or unlocked or locked but give him the keys. So far I've locked him in but left a window open for him.

I wouldn’t - all it takes is someone breaking into your car or you accidentally leaving the handbrake off and your son could get hurt or worse. If he’s so responsible I’d probably consider whether he’s ready to be left home alone for short periods instead (with access to a phone).

No this is not OK. Just take him with you.

I send my 11yo and previously 10yo into a shop where I am outside and can see the door.

I leave my 9 yo DD at home when I go to the supermarket. She’s with my 11 yo DS and they’re absolutely fine, no qualms at all. She loves being left alone. DS has a phone to contact me if necessary but he’s never had to.

I'm not even a relaxed mum, but I think this is absolutely fine!

I wouldn't.
My DH did this when our Ds was 10 and he wanted to pop into supermarket. Car alarm started going off.. DS panicked and got outof the car and and wandered around the car park then into the supermarket. He did go straight to customer services who announced over tannoy but it scared him to death. DH felt similarly when he arrived at the empty car with the alarm going off.

Yeah I'm pretty uptight but I leave dd (just turned 10) in the car while I go in for a few bits. It's the shop carpark, rather than on the street, and I'm in and out of the shop in under 10mins

I'd also leave her in the house to do the same

I think it depends where you are. In the UK, US or Australia people will probably say you absolutely shouldn't do this. Anywhere else in the world, it's a non-issue.

Absolutely fine. Lock the door - he can still get out.

Yes I would do this. And do, in fact. My 10 yo will stay in the car. Its parked outside a busy supermarket with lots of people around. I leave it unlocked and take the keys but she knows how to lock and unlock the door from the inside. She knows how to get out and come to customer services and ask for me in the highly unlikely event of anything untoward happening. In 8 months she'll be getting on a public bus to and from school and letting herself into an empty house for an hour. She's perfectly capable.

Can you lock the car from inside? Mine just pressed the lock (so no need to worry about keys or anyone opening door) but if he wants to get out he could

I think it's fine at 9 for 10 mins! Wouldn't really blink if I saw a kid that age sitting reading in a car outside a shop. It would make me smile

It's fine. Just go through the basics- how to lick/unlock the car, what to do if there's an emergency or he gets a fright.

I am normally more on the over the top side of things but for a sensible 9 year old this wouldn’t worry me.

It would never occur to me it wasn’t fine.

Seems fine to me, I'd leave the car unlocked so that, in the extremely unlikely event that something happens, a passerby can help.

I always left mine in the car from being born. If they fell asleep in the car as babies in the daytime, I would just park on my drive and leave them there for an hour or so.
They never came to any harm.
You're nipping into a shop, not going for a night out.

I would say I'm amazed people would have an issue with this except... I'm not really.

I'd not think twice about that. When DS is left in the car, he has to lock it himself, and can unlock it. He knows where I am - ie in the supermarket - and is perfectly capable of getting out of the car to come look for me if there's any particular reason he might need to.

I wouldn't leave DD7 in a big parking lot, but I've left her in the car outside our local sainsburys/tesco on a few occasions while I nip in to buy bread/milk. In that instance, car is parked outside, no roads to cross, very small shop so if she needed to come find me, it's painless.

2 years ago people were considered irresponsible for taking a 9yo into a supermarket.

Now its back to dinosaur rampages and asteroid strikes if you turn your back for 30 seconds...

I've done this. I left ds asleep un my car on the driveway when he was a baby and I know mumsnet doesn't like that either

I think it's fine at that age. I have a 8 and 10yo and leave them to pay for petrol or popping into shop if I'm parked directly outside.

YANBU. He'll be fine and a lot happier reading peacefully than dragging his feet around a shop. To your question, I leave my car unlocked if the DC are in it but take the keys with me.

This was so, so normal when I was a kid so it's interesting to read the replies. I think the consensus is it's still OK?

Absolutely MORE than fine!

I used to do this with mine around this age.

Totally fine.