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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leave 9YO reading in car

54 replies

NellieWellietheEllie · 17/01/2022 14:35

Quite often I'll nip into a shop on the way home from a day out. My son is 9 and loves reading. Recently I've been leaving him with his book while I grab the shopping with his little sister. He can be trusted to do nothing but read and it's only 10 minutes. AIBU? My other dilemma is whether to leave car locked or unlocked or locked but give him the keys. So far I've locked him in but left a window open for him.

OP posts:
gogohm · 17/01/2022 15:30

For a quick shop eg Tesco express I would think it was ok, for full shops I still take them in with me and they are adults (I do trust them obviously but I don't want to leave the car unlocked nor them locked in the car plus they help)

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 17/01/2022 15:36

It's absolutely fine!

My mum used to leave me with the keys in case there was an issue but there never was. If you do take the keys, never leave them locked in, they need to be able to get out if necessary :)

cherryonthecakes · 17/01/2022 15:40

This is fine. I leave the keys because I'm paranoid about the car alarm going off.

womaninatightspot · 17/01/2022 15:44

I leave my kids in the car whilst I pop into the small shops. Just a few minutes to get bread and milk etc. Cars locked but unlocks if you open it from inside. I'd leave the 9yo when I went to a big supermarket but I'd want him to have a phone so he could call me if he wanted to leave the car.

Andtwomakesix · 17/01/2022 15:46

I cant take my older two (9 and 7) into nursery when I pick up the younger two. I have to leave them both in the car. I give them the key and they clock it as soon as I close the door so I know they are safe. Thats on a busy street outside a pub door which does put me a bit on edge and makes me rush when collecting the babies but in a supermarket carpark I'd feel totally relaxed.

MrsJaxTellerPlease · 17/01/2022 15:48

Of course it's ok to do this.

AryaStarkWolf · 17/01/2022 15:48

Yes, I think it's fine

Aboutcoffee · 17/01/2022 15:49

It's fine Id say. But at that age I started waiting in the car and sending DS to the shop as a way to get him used to it on his own, money etc. so maybe that's an option too.

Iggly · 17/01/2022 15:51

I would rather leave him at home!

Socialcarenope · 17/01/2022 15:51

I leave 6yo DS in the car whilst I collect DC2 from childcare. He's happy enough, not scared, very compliant in terms of not getting out of his seat etc. DC2, will never get left because she's a little menace! I think you know your kid and whether they'll be ok.

SpikeySmooth · 17/01/2022 15:53

I don't have a car, but I would leave my then 9/10 year old at home whilst I nipped to the shop over the road. If your child is sensible, I see no issue.

DarkCorner · 17/01/2022 15:54

I think it's fine and I do it with my 9yo too. He's very sensible and goes to the park or shop by himself sometimes in our village so it would feel slightly ridiculous to not let him sit in the car for 10 mins. He does have a phone he can call me from though (very unmumsnet I know!).

MasterBeth · 17/01/2022 15:58

@gogohm

For a quick shop eg Tesco express I would think it was ok, for full shops I still take them in with me and they are adults (I do trust them obviously but I don't want to leave the car unlocked nor them locked in the car plus they help)
You don’t want to leave your car unlocked with adults in it?!!!
NoRaceInThisHorse · 17/01/2022 16:08

If the 9 year old is sensible enough to stay in the car and not mess around, yes. Some 9 year olds won't be, so it's your judgement! I'd stick him in the front so he can get out if he needs to (assuming child lock in the back, but the front doors should still open even if locked), and have a meeting spot for if he does need to get out for whatever reason.

NoRaceInThisHorse · 17/01/2022 16:09

@gogohm

For a quick shop eg Tesco express I would think it was ok, for full shops I still take them in with me and they are adults (I do trust them obviously but I don't want to leave the car unlocked nor them locked in the car plus they help)
You can still get out of a car from inside even if it's locked. However, as adults, I don't think it much matters if the car is locked or no, but your family your car and your rules!
Hospedia · 17/01/2022 16:10

He's 9, he'll be absolutely fine and is probably happier there than he would be in the shop. Just make sure he knows what to do in an emergency and let him know roughly how long you're going to be. The car is highly unlikely to get stolen as car thieves tend to target empty cars, he sounds sensible enough not to dick about with the handbrake and I doubt the car park is on an incline so even if he did take it off he's not going to roll away at speed.

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 17/01/2022 16:10

I was a very sensible kid who also liked reading. I was off school ill one day at around 9 years old, but we had to go pick up my younger brother at the end of the school day.

My Mum left me in the car with a book while she picked up my brother, and I started pressing buttons. The radio, air heater, fiddling with the gear stick etc. And then I pressed the button on the handbrake.

Car rolled backwards downhill (as I'd already accidentally taken it out of gear. It mounted the pavement and hit a lampost, where it luckily stopped.

I read your question and for a minute thought "Yeah, that'd be fine", and then remember the time I could have killed someone.

reluctantbrit · 17/01/2022 16:16

We did this from that age onwards if we were coming from somewhere (often the riding stable) and stopped to get some bits on the way home.

Locked the car, gave DD the keys. But, she always had her phone with her, no phone, no staying in the car.

We also started leaving her at home for an hour or so from that age onwards if she didn't want to come shopping and the other parent wasn't in.

Totalwasteofpaper · 17/01/2022 16:23

@MasterBeth

Absolutely fine. Lock the door - he can still get out.
Agree.

my parents did this a lot with me - i loved to read.
There is a lot of pearl clutching on this thread.

Original poster
NellieWellietheEllie · 17/01/2022 16:41

Thanks all. I'm going to assume it's fine then. I'm not worried about him messing with the handbrake - but won't leave him on any hills just in case! (It's generally just a flat car park in a pretty safe area)

OP posts:
BlingLoving · 17/01/2022 17:13

@gogohm

For a quick shop eg Tesco express I would think it was ok, for full shops I still take them in with me and they are adults (I do trust them obviously but I don't want to leave the car unlocked nor them locked in the car plus they help)
WHAAAT? You insist your adult children come into the shop with you because you don't trust them to sit in an unlocked car!?
TiredButDancing · 17/01/2022 17:14

@fdgdfgdfgdfg

I was a very sensible kid who also liked reading. I was off school ill one day at around 9 years old, but we had to go pick up my younger brother at the end of the school day.

My Mum left me in the car with a book while she picked up my brother, and I started pressing buttons. The radio, air heater, fiddling with the gear stick etc. And then I pressed the button on the handbrake.

Car rolled backwards downhill (as I'd already accidentally taken it out of gear. It mounted the pavement and hit a lampost, where it luckily stopped.

I read your question and for a minute thought "Yeah, that'd be fine", and then remember the time I could have killed someone.

We have a classic similar story in my family... except that I was about 5. A 9 year old should know not to fiddle with the buttons or handbrake.
pastypirate · 17/01/2022 17:20

I give dd2 the keys with instructions to lock the car door if anyone approached she doesn't know. She's 9. It really depends where we are - our local Morrisons opposite our house she can stay in the car. Ditto the other local supermarket. If it was going into town - we live in a city and leaving her in the car in the multi storey I wouldn't.

wildthingsinthenight · 17/01/2022 17:50

Sorry OP it seems I am the lone voice of doom and gloom! Grin
I'm too much of a worrier obviously

Bellaphant · 17/01/2022 17:55

My mum and dad used to leave me in a corner of Waterstones whilst they ran errands in town from not much older! It's fine.