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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to still be angry with partner over wiping my PC (accidentally!)

57 replies

mrsmootoo · 17/01/2022 09:31

Last week my OH decided to 'upgrade' my PC with a factory reset as it was so slow. I did agree to this. He also got a piece of software that would supposedly save everything on my PC, documents, favourites etc. I did back up my documents to the (so-called) Cloud as a precaution (although not onto memory sticks as I usually would because I had the Cloud and the fancy software)....anyway, of course, everything totally disappeared. All my personal stuff, all my work stuff. Some work stuff I have saved in work accounts or can cobble together, but it is very time-consuming and fiddly. Other stuff totally gone (OK, maybe I had too many photos). Btw do not trust the Cloud - you have to synch it or something. He is very contrite and knows it was his fault. but it's not like he broke one thing and I can get over it. I keep thinking of things that are lost for good and am finding it hard to forgive. How long before I have to let it go?!

OP posts:

44PumpLane · 17/01/2022 09:34

I'm sorry I voted YABU as you agreed to it and you also failed to adequetly back up your machine which is on you.

To be fair I'd be annoyed too, but mostly at myself!

Now if he'd done this as a surprise without telling you it'd be an entirely different story!!

But also..... I do have every sympathy for you.

Atla · 17/01/2022 09:37

Oh no! Are you absolutely sure it is not recoverable?

I know that this is really devastating and I would be horrified if this happened to me, but I don't think you can really blame your partner - you agreed to it and it was your responsibility to ensure things backed up successfully.

unfortunateevents · 17/01/2022 09:37

This is horrible, whoever is at fault. But to be honest I think it is 50-50. Did neither if you check whether saving to the Cloud had worked or whether the software had safely saved all your folders?

araiwa · 17/01/2022 09:39

You know it wasn't your partner's fault but you're still blaming them and being angry at them?

Yabu

StationaryMagpie · 17/01/2022 09:40

sorry, i'm in camp YABU, you should have checked and double checked that you'd backed everything up properly.

Tempusfudgeit · 17/01/2022 09:43

Next time he needs to 'restore' not 'factory reset'. I'm sorry, OP that is a big blow, akin to losing it all in a house fire. If you love him and can accept it was a genuine mistake, then you will feel better about it eventually.

FinallyHere · 17/01/2022 12:20

It may cost too much to do, but your data may not be lost forever. There are lots of data recovery services, who must be worth at least a try.

It's horrible to have lost everything. Hope you get at least some back. Fingers crossed.

saleorbouy · 17/01/2022 12:27

Rule No.1 Back up you files regularly, especially on portable devices that can get lost, stolen or damaged easily.

If you are going to attempt an work on data file common sense tells you to back up and check you backed up data access before starting work.

You DH was only trying to assist and you failed to back up and check data.
It's annoying but lesson learnt, move on, not his fault is it!

NumberTheory · 17/01/2022 12:51

Why is you DH upgrading your machine? It sounds like you don’t take responsibility for understanding the technology your using. Look after your own technology or pay a professional you have a right to be angry at.

girafferaffle · 17/01/2022 12:52

This happened to me once and now, about 15 years later, I'm almost over it. I have backups of backups now.

Mine was from using sony's tool to remove the malicious software they installed when I ripped a CD. On the plus side I definitely got rid of that but wiping my whole computer seemed excessive.

TheSnowyOwl · 17/01/2022 12:54

Find a decent computer engineer and get them to restore what has been lost.

girafferaffle · 17/01/2022 12:54

I actually have bootable cloned drives now 🙈😂. Maybe a step too far.

JustKeepSwimmingJust · 17/01/2022 12:55

Turn your computer off. Don’t save any files. Then get it to a specialist computer repair shop, because some of those files are probably recoverable if that part of the disc hasn’t been overwritten yet. The sooner you do this, with the least amount of time using the computer, the better.

CoalCraft · 17/01/2022 13:02

It was an accident and he is sorry. I think it's time to let it go. I appreciate it's frustrating now (this has happened to me, though self-inflicted) but you'll probably look back and laugh in a few months!

user1471457751 · 17/01/2022 13:14

Given you also failed to back up the data despite saying you had, I don't see how you can be that angry with your DP.

gamerchick · 17/01/2022 13:16

Ah you can't be angry with him. Try and not be

It ultimately your responsibility to check backups have been successful. Always check.

phishy · 17/01/2022 13:17

YANBU to be gutted but YABU to trust anyone except a professional with your computer.

I don't even let my DH have my laptop password. (Not that I would anyway as it's work issued and is confidential).

SequinnedShawl · 17/01/2022 13:20

@NumberTheory

Maybe like many men he just takes over?

DGRossetti · 17/01/2022 13:33

Rule No.1 Back up you files regularly, especially on portable devices that can get lost, stolen or damaged easily.

And Rule No. 2 is to check your backups regularly .....

SisyphusDad · 17/01/2022 13:47

@DGRossetti

Rule No.1 Back up you files regularly, especially on portable devices that can get lost, stolen or damaged easily.

And Rule No. 2 is to check your backups regularly .....

And Rule No. 3 is to make sure you can restore from those backup. "You don't have backups if you don't know you can restore from them."

erinaceus · 17/01/2022 13:47

See if you can find a data recovery specialist -- your files, or at least some of them, may be recoverable.

DGRossetti · 17/01/2022 13:49

And Rule No. 3 is to make sure you can restore from those backup. "You don't have backups if you don't know you can restore from them."

At the risk of pedantry, how else do you check them, if not by making sure you can restore from them ? This isn't a statement from Boris Johnson that needs to be qualified until meaningless, surely ? If you can't restore from a backup, it's pretty obvious you never checked it ?????

DGRossetti · 17/01/2022 13:50

@erinaceus

See if you can find a data recovery specialist -- your files, or at least some of them, may be recoverable.

That'll highlight the value of data

housemaus · 17/01/2022 13:51

@erinaceus

See if you can find a data recovery specialist -- your files, or at least some of them, may be recoverable.

This, as step #1.

And as everyone has said, #2 is have proper backups. I think I have overkill in that I have everything backed up in 2 places in the cloud plus to an external hard drive.

MorningStarling · 17/01/2022 14:19

YABU, your data, your problem. If you don't have at least two backups of something (at least one on a USB drive physically in your possession) you don't care about the data.

Have you tried recovering it? Areas of the drive that have not been overwritten by the new installation may still have recoverable data. Be aware that every minute the PC is left running, more data will become unrecoverable as the system reuses areas of the hard drive.

Ideally you'd want to remove the hard drive from the PC and connect it to another computer as a non-bootable drive and run a recovery scan from there. You can get a cable that will connect the hard drive to a USB port - there are several different connectors though so you will need to check which connector your hard drive has, so you get the right cable.

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