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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to still be angry with partner over wiping my PC (accidentally!)

57 replies

mrsmootoo · 17/01/2022 09:31

Last week my OH decided to 'upgrade' my PC with a factory reset as it was so slow. I did agree to this. He also got a piece of software that would supposedly save everything on my PC, documents, favourites etc. I did back up my documents to the (so-called) Cloud as a precaution (although not onto memory sticks as I usually would because I had the Cloud and the fancy software)....anyway, of course, everything totally disappeared. All my personal stuff, all my work stuff. Some work stuff I have saved in work accounts or can cobble together, but it is very time-consuming and fiddly. Other stuff totally gone (OK, maybe I had too many photos). Btw do not trust the Cloud - you have to synch it or something. He is very contrite and knows it was his fault. but it's not like he broke one thing and I can get over it. I keep thinking of things that are lost for good and am finding it hard to forgive. How long before I have to let it go?!

OP posts:
MorningStarling · 17/01/2022 14:22

BTW I've used Recuva in the past. Mixed results but if it can recover some files that's better than nothing. I doubt you'll find a (free) program that will do much better.

pointythings · 17/01/2022 14:31

YABU, I'm afraid. You should have checked that all your stuff was in the Cloud, preferably by doing a full manual upload of all of it in a new folder. Relying on automatic sync in your situation is as bad as storing things on your hard drive in the first place.

Hugasauras · 17/01/2022 14:34

Sounds like a double dose of ineptitude! Annoying but maybe a learning point for you both. My DH is an IT professional so does all our computer stuff, but I still make backups my responsibility.

girafferaffle · 17/01/2022 15:27

If it's an ssd and trim is enabled there's not much chance of data recovery unfortunately.

eagerlywaitingfor · 17/01/2022 15:34

PC World did that to mine.

I took it in because I was having trouble backing it up (oh the irony) and they said they'd send it off to their specialist workshop who would be able to access it all, back it all up and then restore to factory settings.

Did they buggery. They just restored to factory settings and wiped the lot. When I went to collect it, they said 'what backups?' so I pointed to the paperwork which explained why they'd got it in the first place. Useless bastards.

britneyisfree · 17/01/2022 15:43

I'd be fuming. He shouldn't have offered if he didn't know what he was doing what a dick

DGRossetti · 17/01/2022 15:44

@britneyisfree

I'd be fuming. He shouldn't have offered if he didn't know what he was doing what a dick
How does that explain PC World ? Who not only couldn't do it, but charged for it ?
fairylightsandwaxmelts · 17/01/2022 15:47

YABU. You have no right to be annoyed with your partner when you're the one that didn't back your files up properly.

Just having the cloud isn't good enough - you need to physically make sure it's backed up and that you've paid for enough space on there. The free amount of space is really not much once you factor in apps, music, photos and work documents.

You agreed to let him do a factory reset without checking first. I understand you're annoyed but this on you, I'm afraid.

girlmom21 · 17/01/2022 15:52

YABU.

Learn to do it yourself if you're going to be so angry with him for trying to do you a favour.

You've said lots of the files are recoverable and you didn't check it was properly backed up.

IDontKnow00 · 17/01/2022 16:06

In long from: when you "delete" something from a computer you don't actually remove it, all it does is remove a reference to it so your computer (and you) can't find it anymore, and allows your computer to write over it in future. The only way to truly make things unrecoverable is to either smash up the hard drive to tiny pieces or write over the space again with something else.

In short: you can probably get your files back if you really want to but will probably take paying someone to do it for you.

But also yes how annoying that your partner ballsed up like that. Although it was a mistake but I'd be annoyed to.

HisNibs · 17/01/2022 16:18

Sorry but YABU. You would be in the same position if the hard drive in your PC had failed (which they do)... regular backups are a must. You could send the drive away to a data recovery specialist and have it recovered (even after reinstalling the operating system) but it will cost. You're talking £120+ for that.

grapewine · 17/01/2022 16:23

It's annoying, but it's on you for not backing up. I learned that one the hard way and still occasionally kick myself.

grapewine · 17/01/2022 16:24

Btw do not trust the Cloud - you have to synch it or something.

I mean, yes? It's not magic. You have to tell the computer what to do and how often.

DGRossetti · 17/01/2022 16:29

@grapewine

Btw do not trust the Cloud - you have to synch it or something.

I mean, yes? It's not magic. You have to tell the computer what to do and how often.

Quite aside from the chances of (a) being unable to connect to the provider when needed, and even more critically (b) the provider going belly up without warning and with your data ...
EmbarrassingHadrosaurus · 17/01/2022 16:32

I'm more sympathetic than most PPs as it's not that unusual for people to have little understanding of their technology.

Look at all the threads about people who provide running technical support to their parents, siblings and extended family. A lot of the time people have no idea of even basic fundamentals so rarely understand what somebody is proposing to do and the necessary precautions and maintenance.

grapewine · 17/01/2022 16:34

(b) the provider going belly up without warning and with your data ...

That's just super shit. If that happened to you, I'm sorry.

PigeonLittle · 17/01/2022 16:41

Id send it off to be formally recovered. We did this with a hard drive once.

Testingprof · 17/01/2022 16:43

It’d be helpful if you specified what you mean by the ‘cloud’ there are many different providers that people call the cloud and someone might be able to help you if they know which one it is.

DGRossetti · 17/01/2022 16:44

@grapewine

(b) the provider going belly up without warning and with your data ...

That's just super shit. If that happened to you, I'm sorry.

Quite safe here. But it's worth bearing in mind.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-33989384

for example.

grapewine · 17/01/2022 16:48

Yes, for sure. This is why I have double backups now. I did have to learn it the hard way, though.

NumberTheory · 17/01/2022 17:40

@DGRossetti

And Rule No. 3 is to make sure you can restore from those backup. "You don't have backups if you don't know you can restore from them."

At the risk of pedantry, how else do you check them, if not by making sure you can restore from them ? This isn't a statement from Boris Johnson that needs to be qualified until meaningless, surely ? If you can't restore from a backup, it's pretty obvious you never checked it ?????

Loads of people think checking their back ups means looking to see if the back up system they’re using says they are backed up or looking at the date on the back up file. They never see what they can actually restore.
DGRossetti · 17/01/2022 17:58

Loads of people think checking their back ups means looking to see if the back up system they’re using says they are backed up or looking at the date on the back up file. They never see what they can actually restore.

In which case they haven't checked them have they ?

ItsAllAboutTheLighting · 17/01/2022 17:59

Good grief, when I read that title I did not expect it to be about a computer.

NumberTheory · 17/01/2022 18:32

@DGRossetti

Loads of people think checking their back ups means looking to see if the back up system they’re using says they are backed up or looking at the date on the back up file. They never see what they can actually restore.

In which case they haven't checked them have they ?

To be pedantic - yes. They’ve checked they’re there. Which is a part of checking. Most back up protocols don’t check recovery as often as they check the back up process shows it’s happened. That would be overkill in almost all domestic situations.
WorriedGiraffe · 17/01/2022 18:37

If you backed it up onto the cloud and it didn’t work, I’m not really sure why that’s his fault, maybe I’ve misunderstood. But YABU, understandably so because it’s incredibly annoying to loose everything like that, but you agreed to it, and also failed to back stuff up properly, it’s joint fault.

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