To be upset he text his ex?

[buttercrinkle]

DP and I had a big drunken argument three weeks ago and ended up breaking up in the moment. It was stupid and totally out of character and by the afternoon it was all sorted.

I was on his phone in front of him today and came across his ex in his recent messages, and another woman who is a female friend of his.

He admitted he had woke up after our break up and wanted some "cheap easy sec" and validation as he was devastated and messaged this ex and female friend for sex.

He has previously assured me this female friend was nothing but a friend and he wasn't attracted to her.

His ex he claims isn't his ex, but they were exclusively sleeping together/seeing each other for a few months with feelings involved.

He says he hasn't told me as he put it off as he was too nervous and never got round to doing it.

AIBU to be upset?

YABU to still be with him.

Imagine that his first thought was ‘best try to fuck someone else’ rather than ‘best call Butter and sort things out.

He sounds like a stupid teenager.

It's over. The trust is gone.

Wow really?

I should've added he didn't actually have sex with them. He said they exchanged a few messages and he ignored them as he realised it was stupid and regretted it.

Yes really.

How old are you?

If his first thought after an argument is to seek validation/sexual gratification from another woman (or two in this case?) as opposed to reflecting on the argument/his part in it/how you could possibly make up, then yes I don’t think I could trust him again to be honest.

If his first thought after your break up was solely about how to get some quick sex that indicates he's not that bothered about you or the break up.

You weren't his first thought. He wasn't thinking about how to sort things out with you.

Yes really. Hold him and yourself to a higher standard.

He didn’t realise it was stupid. He got scared and bottled it. The intention was there.

Was your first thought to shag someone else? I doubt it. Raise the bar.

You had only broken up for a few hours yet his dick started to twitch. Get rid.

Yes really.

You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you and isn't tempted just becuase you had a row.

Yes!

Raise your standards.

Using someone for 'cheap, easy sex' and using a woman for 'validation' shows exactly how little he respects women

@Xmassprout

Using someone for 'cheap, easy sex' and using a woman for 'validation' shows exactly how little he respects women

Also this 100%

It’s posts like this that make me convinced that a lot of women have horrifically low standards.

Thank you everyone. He says he isn't sorry for his actions as we were over and owed me nothing.

@buttercrinkle

Thank you everyone. He says he isn't sorry for his actions as we were over and owed me nothing.

What a prince

I'm going to have to end it I think. Thank you everyone

Yeah I’d be done OP. Regardless of your argument and break up this would still feel like a betrayal to me. He has revealed his first thoughts and they definitely weren’t about reconciliation. He was ready to jump so fast

OP he wasted no time in wanting to sleep with other women. It doesn't matter that you'd broken up - he clearly doesn't value you or the relationship very highly if the first thing on his mind was sex with someone else!

Sorry but I'd get rid.

He is showing you who he is. Believe him.

Yikes.

Run a mile, OP.

Value yourself more OP.

This is Ross and Rachel's 'we were on a break' except much more serious. I don't think there's any future.

I wish he'd have told me before we made up and things were all normal again. I feel like a place holder/easily replaceable.

I feel crazy!

I feel like I have no right to be upset because he genuinely thought we were over.