To be upset he text his ex?

[buttercrinkle]

DP and I had a big drunken argument three weeks ago and ended up breaking up in the moment. It was stupid and totally out of character and by the afternoon it was all sorted.

I was on his phone in front of him today and came across his ex in his recent messages, and another woman who is a female friend of his.

He admitted he had woke up after our break up and wanted some "cheap easy sec" and validation as he was devastated and messaged this ex and female friend for sex.

He has previously assured me this female friend was nothing but a friend and he wasn't attracted to her.

His ex he claims isn't his ex, but they were exclusively sleeping together/seeing each other for a few months with feelings involved.

He says he hasn't told me as he put it off as he was too nervous and never got round to doing it.

AIBU to be upset?

@buttercrinkle

Thank you everyone. He says he isn't sorry for his actions as we were over and owed me nothing.

HIs attitude says it all really, he owed you nothing, well go get laid pet as you too owe him nothing..Twunt that he is

You don't know what to do? Christ, woman, have some standards!

He has no respect or consideration for you at all, just wants to get his leg over. You are way way too good for him. Do not waste any more time with this loser.

Who used the term 'cheap and easy sex'

That is pretty horrendous!

And he couldn't even be arsed hiding it whilst you were going through his phone in front of him!

All sounds dramatic and I'd be running or you are letting him know where your boundaries are!

@buttercrinkle

Thank you everyone. He says he isn't sorry for his actions as we were over and owed me nothing.

No He very very technically DIDN'T 'owe' you anything.

Do you really want to be with someone who wiggles out of any sort of responsibility on the basis of a technicality?

So, he technically didn't owe you anything but this tells you, very clearly what sort of man he is.

I can only imagine how you must be feeling right now. This is gut-wrenching to even think of.
I have to agree with the general consensus here though. Yes he may have thought you were broken up but in that (very brief) time, he chose to find himself another "option" when he should have been either devastated or trying to make amends.
It sounds an awful lot like you deserve better. I hope you find that x

This is horrible. He has shown you who he is. Believe him. He is a low value male and you deserve better.

Have a listen of the Female Dating Strategy podcast.

@buttercrinkle

Wow really?

I should've added he didn't actually have sex with them. He said they exchanged a few messages and he ignored them as he realised it was stupid and regretted it.

Up your standards.

@buttercrinkle

Thank you. We live quite a way apart at the moment and he is currently driving home. I don't know what to do or say.

You give him time to get home safely and then you text or call "I have given this a great deal of thought and I've decided that this just isn't working for me anymore. I don't want or need to 'talk it over', there's nothing to talk about I wish you the best in life but please don't contact me again." If he doesn't respect your wishes for 'no contact', then block him.

Nah.

Technically he's not done anything wrong but he was going to replace you like a pair of pants. You deserve better.

@jelly79

Who used the term 'cheap and easy sex'

That is pretty horrendous!

And he couldn't even be arsed hiding it whilst you were going through his phone in front of him!

All sounds dramatic and I'd be running or you are letting him know where your boundaries are!

I agree. Cheap? So he either pays for sex or sees it as transactional (ie if I pay for dinner they give me sex).

Vile mindset

Wow- he has treated you appallingly. Save yourself further heartbreak by ending it.

HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU!!!
Sorry to sound harsh but it's true

God, I'd be devastated if my partner and I had a silly argument and "ended" things and that same day he was looking for sex with somebody else. The last thing on my mind would be sex with another man.

In fact, my ex before my current partner did this to me. We broke up and a week later when I went to pick up my things, I asked if we could discuss things to sort things out and he said I could talk but I only had 30 minutes as he had a date to get to. The fact that whilst I'd been devastated all week all the while he'd been arranging dates with other women told me all I needed to know about what he felt for me, so I walked out and never saw him again.

I did text him and call him a twat, though.