To think dp doesnt actually like me

[Ann46]

For ages now we have had issues. He promises to resolve things and never does. He says he will seek counselling or change his ways and he doesnt. He is emotionally unavailable towards me. He says he cares but he doesnt show it. We dont have sex, we dont kiss. We cuddle and can be playful and that is about it.

I dont like kissing but ive even asked him to kiss me again and he hasnt. He has admitted to living complacent even though he knows it upsets and hurts me. It makes me thinks he just wants me around because we have a child together but he doesnt want to actually bother with me as a person or address or work on my needs.

Today we just had an argument as his parents had recently got involved with his lack of can do atittude towards our relationship and he said he loves me and wants to work on things but doesnt know why he cant. He blames our money situation alot which is abunch of bs.

Since he parents spoke to him he had a kick up his ass but now its been a week since and nothing has changed. He has booked counselling (which i had to coach him to do) but i challenged him and asked why he hasnt even asked me out yet as we rarely spend quality time together and recognised that was part of the problem. He admitted it doesnt come naturally to him to ask me out even if its just for a drink or a walk. I mean what the hell???? Surely if you love someone asking them out isnt rocket science and doesnt require brain power.

Im at a loss with it all. He is good pratically wise but anyone could do the things he does, its just like he is in the swing of things but it requires minimal effort. I think he just doesnt like me at all. In fact i dont even know if he truely likes women all that much. I am his first partner and my instincts are telling me something is majorly wrong here. I have made all the excuses under the sun for his behaviour (and lack of) but im starting to think there isnt much to it other than he doesnt genuinely like me.

Aibu? I feel like i should just leave tomorrow. I have no where to go and no money but i cant take this fakeness and false promises of change anymore. Im only 24

Living with his parents probably isn’t helping.
You don’t have to live like this, this isn’t living. Your dc will grow up thinking that this is how you love.

sound like depression.

Im still here.

I tried to call for a break and lone behold his parents intervened and basically didnt tell me not to go but tried to put some of the blame onto me and my trauma. When i finally confessed to them that ive been through something traumatic with dp and explained how shitty he was to me during that time and now do you know what they had to say!!!!

Its a male thing. Its because he is a man that is why he has shutdown and why he runs away from anything real and hard. Being a man apparently gets to nustify why you cab be absent and crappy in life and your relationship supposedly. It was almost laughable if it wasnt for the fact that it was bs. They really clutch at any last straws to pardon their son for his shit.

@Ann46 sorry to hear that. It’s horrible to hear and an absolute cop out. Sadly their loyalties will always lie with their son but you’d think even if they didn’t want to get involved they’d be nice/considerate to your feelings?
I messaged my x’s family after he’s ghosted me, they have been lovely but of course it’s not up to them to sort it. People can be very disappointing.

Great - his parents have shown you they are not looking at anything from a reasonable standpoint so from now on you can confidently ignore what they think, say and do. They are not relevant to you any more.

Do you want to be with a man who is grasping at the excuse (and not even the action) of having counselling in order to try and be talked into loving you? Of course not, that would be insulting, you deserve someone who adores you just as you are and doesn’t hesitate to show it. Stop wasting you time with this person, he is not worth it. You are young and have so much life to live, don’t let him drag you down any more.