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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband’s millions on his death?

170 replies

AllFriendsIn · 13/01/2022 19:19

Are any will writers or lawyers able to tell me what would happen to my husband’s estate? We are legally married and not separated, he has children I do not, he has inherited over £1m+ which he does not share with me. I am financially, emotionally and sometimes physically abused by him.
AIBU to try and find out what my situation would be on his death? I’m not planning on killing him in case you were wondering! Please don’t make this about leaving him it’s not an option.

OP posts:
Rapunzel91 · 13/01/2022 21:15

Hi OP,

Do you have Netflix? I would recommend the series 'Maid', I think you will recognise yourself in it. Watch it without your husband.

As others have said you would be better off without your husband and you now have the option to leave with some money. There are many women's charities that can help you, with somewhere to stay, legal help, financial help, friendship etc. Also religious facilities, please please seek them out. Wishing you the best.

Quackpot · 13/01/2022 21:18

If he's physically abusive he will only get more so, don't be one of those women we read about in the newspaper, leave while you're still alive.
There is help out there. Go to women's aid, they will help you. Would you rather be pennyless and miserable or pennyless and happy?

SlidingInto2022sDMs · 13/01/2022 21:18

Seems to me, OP, that you're afraid that now he's come into some money, he'll do something...like divorce you or just leave you with nothing.

I think you should consult a solicitor about this and find out your chances for real if you think he's capable of anything like that.

Also, if you're both having issues, you should start thinking of leaving for the sake of your mental health. I think you can get an initial free consultation with a solicitor somehow (I'm sure someone will know about this).

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 13/01/2022 21:19

Of course he's got a will! He's on his second marriage, has children with his ex wife, is in his sixties, is financially abusive and has a million pounds!

SlidingInto2022sDMs · 13/01/2022 21:19

Also, if you're both having issues, you should start thinking of leaving for the sake of your mental health.

Sorry, I meant if he's abusive, you should start thinking of leaving...

Molecule · 13/01/2022 21:21

This was me:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_matters/2603826-Could-I-contest-DHs-will?msgid=60392327
I divorced him (eventually, it wasn’t a quick decision): life is so much better now. Please post in legal where you will get proper advice and not pages of speculation.

Regularsizedrudy · 13/01/2022 21:27

A man committed to abusing you financially, emotionally and physically is going to make damn sure you don’t see a penny when he dies. You don’t have to spend your life condemned to this misery. Leave him.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 13/01/2022 21:32

@Regularsizedrudy

A man committed to abusing you financially, emotionally and physically is going to make damn sure you don’t see a penny when he dies. You don’t have to spend your life condemned to this misery. Leave him.
I agree...

The chances he hasn't a will are,i suspect, vanishingly small.

Abusive men continue to control and abuse beyond the grave.

Porfre · 13/01/2022 21:37

I'm not an expert but from the little I know.
If he has a will he doesnt have to leave you anything at all. He can leave a token amount and you would have to contest the will.

If he doesnt have a will- most of it would go to you.

Personally if he is being abusive your best bet is to divorce him. You are more likely to get a larger payout this way, than if he has a will leaving everything to his kids.

I once read a news article where a rich guy was trying to stop his wife divorcing. The hope was if he died before the divorce went through she wouldn't inherit because of his will, but if the divorce went through before he died she would get a lot more assets.

AuntyBumBum · 13/01/2022 21:40

I've not read the thread, but if he wants to keep you from getting the money he would be best advised to put it in trust while he's still alive. He could benefit from the trust himself until he dies. But it would then not form part of his estate in death and you would not have any entitlement to it. It could instead pass to his children.

GreenClock · 13/01/2022 21:44

Well, you definitely won’t be “penniless” ….and “religion” isn’t much use to you when you’re being abused and beaten up, is it?

The mental health issues, I understand. It’s hard to motivate yourself when you’re struggling mentally.

Talk to Women’s Aid and a lawyer. Take it from there.

WonderfulYou · 13/01/2022 21:45

Do you work?
How will you cope financially if you weren’t in the will?

Most people would leave the majority of their wealth to their children.

He would be stupid to not have a will if he has children and will inherit millions.

His will could also pre-date you and he never changed it.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 13/01/2022 21:46

Please don’t tell the OP she will get everything if there is no will. That’s wrong and misleading

If you are married, in England, and he has children at the time of his death and dies intestate you would get the first £270,000 (that was the figure 2 years ago it might have gone up a little bit) and half of everything over that. His children share equally in the balance.

If he has made a will that makes insufficient provision for you, then you would have a right to challenge it under the Inheritance (Provision For Dependants) Act. Your claim under the Act would be assessed as though you were divorcing. Relevant factors would include, but not be limited to, the length of the marriage, your needs and resources, respective contributions/source of the money. Given the source of the wealth is inherited money your entitlement would be likely assessed on the basis of your need (by reference to your established lifestyle).

Nomoreusernames1244 · 13/01/2022 21:49

His will could also pre-date you and he never changed it

Wills are void on marriage. If he had a will before he and o/p married, but not after, there is no will and intestacy rules apply.

Borris · 13/01/2022 21:52

Don't know what religion you are, but if you are Christian then https://www.restored-uk.org is a Christian organisation helping Christian women leave abusive marriages.

Apologies if you're not Christian, but maybe your religion will have similar organisations?

LesLavandes · 13/01/2022 21:59

Start divorce proceedings. You can borrow the money. Please try. You should not stay in an unhappy marriage. You will recoup the legal fees and as you have been in a long marriage, you will get a decent settlement.

Please try to be brave.

Silkieschickens · 13/01/2022 22:03

I am just doing my will now - I can leave the money to who I like though if left nothing to husband he could challenge so they advise you to write a letter explaining why if you are doing that.

If you have a house as joint tenants that should pass to you though I was given option to ensure on husband's death it went to kids and not anyone else like a new wife. If its in his sole name can pass to who he likes.

It might be worth you taking legal advice as there isn't much guaranteed from a will other than your right to challenge it as I understand though not a lawyer but just done a will and husband asked to be left nothing as he does not need the money and they were fine with that but said to write a letter to explain why. Our house would go half to him though even that not sure if there are ways round.

You might be eligible for more with a divorce though need legal advice on that, will seemed to be able to leave nothing to spouse though they can challenge it.

Dindundundundeeer · 13/01/2022 22:04
  • Nothing to require him by law to leave anything to you.
Dindundundundeeer · 13/01/2022 22:06

Nothing to require him by law to leave anything to you

Totally and utterly incorrect. People talk rubbish on this site and it’s misleading.

VERY few ways to challenge a Will but dependency is one. You are dependent, he can cut you out, but you have a full legal basis to claim. He can’t leave you high and dry, but he can try.

Rosebuud · 13/01/2022 22:07

If he has recently inherited and had nothing before, as the op said, then it’s hugely likely the solicitor who handled the estate will have advised him in making a will.

So it is likely he didn’t have one before, but he does now, and isn’t telling her.

Corcory · 13/01/2022 22:17

I think whither or not he has a will or not is irrelevant now. You really have to get some proper advice from the likes of Woman's Aid. Firstly they will advise you how you will not be penniless, help you find alternative accommodation and find ways to help your mental health. Secondly when you are away from this man and his abusive family and are 'safe' the relief will be massive, you won't believe just how much stress you have been living under. As for your religious reasons, no religion will mandate that you must live in an abusive marriage. Move on and take care, please. Life is too short and precious to be wasted.

WonderfulYou · 13/01/2022 22:17

Start divorce proceedings. You can borrow the money.

How can she borrow the money? Through the courts?

Gilly0812 · 13/01/2022 22:18

I believe, but may be wrong, that inherited money belongs solely to the inheritor and would not be split in a divorce situation.

Eddielzzard · 13/01/2022 22:19

I think it's extremely likely he has a will and will leave everything to his kids. You really really do need to protect yourself.

WeOnlyPlannedTheFirst · 13/01/2022 22:20

Is your marriage legally recognized in UK? Just a lot of couples are religiously married and haven't had a legally binding civil ceremony. Obviously you don't state your religion so no idea if this could be the case for you.
I don't know about divorce, or wills, but just putting it out there as if not a legal marriage a lot of the advice will be incorrect anyway.

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