Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband’s millions on his death?

170 replies

AllFriendsIn · 13/01/2022 19:19

Are any will writers or lawyers able to tell me what would happen to my husband’s estate? We are legally married and not separated, he has children I do not, he has inherited over £1m+ which he does not share with me. I am financially, emotionally and sometimes physically abused by him.
AIBU to try and find out what my situation would be on his death? I’m not planning on killing him in case you were wondering! Please don’t make this about leaving him it’s not an option.

OP posts:
Original poster
AllFriendsIn · 13/01/2022 20:37

They’re not my children, the abuse comes from them and their father combined.
I turned to my religion after marriage.

OP posts:
TeacupDrama · 13/01/2022 20:38

i'm no lawyer but was told you generally a spouse claim on an estate after a death would be viewed similar to a divorce, I was told that leaving a spouse worse off after a death than they would have been after a divorce would be grounds to contest a will as a dependent,
you may not get half but you should get enough to live on
also a marital home that you have lived in for 22 years would normally be considered 50/50 regardless of whose name was on deeds and / or mortgage not inevitably 50/50

PegasusReturns · 13/01/2022 20:40

It would be extraordinarily unusual for an abusive man not to have a will.

In your position I’d be very concerned about your financial position in the event of his death.

How is your home owned? Do you have any joint assets?

TolkiensFallow · 13/01/2022 20:40

Are you a Jehovah’s Witness OP?

Soontobe60 · 13/01/2022 20:43

@AllFriendsIn

Thank you for your kindness. Religion, poor mental health, penniless are three reasons I can’t leave. I really can’t.
You’re not penniless. You have a wealthy husband it would seem. You’re legally entitled to half of his money. Why live in fear and misery? Please contact woman’s aid.
youvegottenminuteslynn · 13/01/2022 20:44

You can still have your faith if you leave.

Your mental health would likely improve immeasurably if you leave someone who is abusive.

And you wouldn't be penniless as you'd be looking at a large amount of money in a divorce with a man who has £1m+

Leaving now is the best option you have on the table IMO.

Original poster
AllFriendsIn · 13/01/2022 20:45

After reading these responses I feel I’m being naive to think he hasn’t got a will that I’m excluded from.
I don’t know where that leaves me.
He inherited recently and until then we were not wealthy and rent our home with very few assets.

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 13/01/2022 20:46

@TeacupDrama

i'm no lawyer but was told you generally a spouse claim on an estate after a death would be viewed similar to a divorce, I was told that leaving a spouse worse off after a death than they would have been after a divorce would be grounds to contest a will as a dependent, you may not get half but you should get enough to live on also a marital home that you have lived in for 22 years would normally be considered 50/50 regardless of whose name was on deeds and / or mortgage not inevitably 50/50
I don't know who told you this, but IME contesting a will is a long and very stressful and expensive experience. Much worse than a divorce. Only if the husband dies intestate does the widow have any rights. Especially if there are children. I would be willing to bet that he has already taken legal advice and has made a watertight will leaving everything to his children.
TolkiensFallow · 13/01/2022 20:50

Honestly divorce him and he’ll have to give you some money

GinIronic · 13/01/2022 20:50

Your situation hasn’t changed - he has the money. You are abused and you are not financially independent. It’s up to you to change your life. You are not wealthy - he is - he is not sharing it with you.

Colderthanever · 13/01/2022 20:51

I’m so sorry your life is like this.

I would agree with the others, he has a will and his children inherit. If you divorce him you’ll get half of everything Inc his pension as a starting point. If he dies you’ll get nothing.

It’s your choice, leave and walk away with enough to live the rest of your life relatively well off, or know when he dies you will be penniless and out on the street.

Colderthanever · 13/01/2022 20:55

Sorry op, cross posted, if you divorce you likely will not get half, inheritance is usually not considered a marital asset, apologies it wasn’t clear you had very little other than the inheritance, few assets and live in rented.

So you cannot count the inheritance as a something you’d get in a divorce, and he will likely have been advised by his solicitor to make a will and it’s been tied down to be given to his kids.

Darbs76 · 13/01/2022 20:56

If no will then you will inherit it all to share (or not) as you see fit

Inmypjsagain · 13/01/2022 20:59

@Darbs76

If no will then you will inherit it all to share (or not) as you see fit
This is not correct, the intestacy rules apply. A wife is entitled to the first £270k, the remainder is split in half, 50% interest to wife and 50% to the living children- OP please use the intestacy calculator on the .gov website linked up thread
jollygreenpea · 13/01/2022 20:59

Take a step back from your religion then you can get him and his horrible children out of your life.

You will not be abused any more, your mental health will improve enormously and you wont be penniless.

I would work on the assumption there is a will that leaves you nothing, you can challenge this but it takes time and money.

Please think of your future it doesn't have to remain like this.

rocksonrocks · 13/01/2022 20:59

OP I don’t mean to sound insensitive but if you met him as a divorcee why can’t you also divorce him?

You sound miserable, it’s no way to live. Leaving might really be the better option.

Really wishing you happiness and peace. Flowers

Fluffycloudland77 · 13/01/2022 21:00

If it’s an Islamic reversion you can still divorce.

2DogsOnMySofa · 13/01/2022 21:02

I think he has to make provisions for you in his will. He can't just cut you out completely (I'm no solicitor tho)

I know when we made our wills I had to take out life insurance for my dh as I'm leaving my house to my dc.

mumshouse · 13/01/2022 21:02

No children, in the UK, married for over 20 years - why not leave?! That money you're interested in is far more likely to come to you via divorce. On his death he could - and probably will if he's that abusive - leave it all to his children.

You might not get a share of the inheritance, though you also might, but you might find a divorce settlement more generous to you than his will. You'll just have to hope he never gets round to making one. If you're staying I'd recommend showing zero interest in his finances at all, because that would be the most likely thing to send him running to a lawyer. Also if you're staying and money is important, start trying to squirrel some savings away in a secret account. It might make you feel more secure.

Trinidading3 · 13/01/2022 21:08

You are his wife you will get half of everything, (cash, millions, pension money )

KimikosNightmare · 13/01/2022 21:09

@Pearlyqueen21

Assuming you’re somewhere in the UK, it depends on his will. If he dies intestate, you’re his next of kin. However, if he has a will all bets are off. He may be leaving it to you, you & his kids, just his kids, or anyone else he wishes. Nothing to require him by law to leave anything to you. Do you have a will? Has he discussed making wills as a couple?
That is not correct if OP is in Scotland. The law is different in England & Wales compared to Scotland ; N. Ireland might be different as well.

In Scotland there's no such thing as "next of kin". If there is no will spouse gets "prior rights" of a maximum value of a house in which the surviving spouse lived up to the value of £473,000;furniture and furnishings in that house up to £29,000; and a payment of a cash sum of £50,000 if the deceased also had children or £89,000 if the deceased did not have children.

The total entitlement for spouses and civil partners amounts to £552,000.

Spouses and children can then claim their Legal Rights. Where a spouse survives the deceased, Legal Rights amount to a one third share for the spouse and a one third share for the children between them of the moveable estate (i.e. all assets except the house) which is left after the satisfaction of the Prior Rights.

If there is a will the spouse can be omitted but can still claim Legal Rights.

Nomoreusernames1244 · 13/01/2022 21:12

You are his wife you will get half of everything, (cash, millions, pension money

No, she won’t.

She won’t get anything if he leaves her out the will. Pensions, life insurance etc will go to whoever is named as beneficiary. Anything else will be split as per probate, she will het the first 270k, and half of anything over that.

Do you have anything to back up your opinion? Or have you just decided “wives get half” regardless of law?

Even on divorce it usually isn’t a straight 50:50 split.

Original poster
AllFriendsIn · 13/01/2022 21:13

I’m in England but thank you that information may be useful to someone in Scotland.

OP posts:
lechatnoir · 13/01/2022 21:13

@AllFriendsIn

After reading these responses I feel I’m being naive to think he hasn’t got a will that I’m excluded from. I don’t know where that leaves me. He inherited recently and until then we were not wealthy and rent our home with very few assets.
Op this is surely your opportunity to leave? You are married so will be entitled to a share of his inheritance so definitely won't be penniless in the long term even if you do face short term hardship it doesn't sound like it will be any worse than your current situation. Have you spoken to anyone IRL about your relationship or the abuse? You are in your 60's so have decades to enjoy your retirement don't suffer in silence.
IamtheDevilsAvocado · 13/01/2022 21:15

@AllFriendsIn

Thank you for your kindness. Religion, poor mental health, penniless are three reasons I can’t leave. I really can’t.
Poor you, you sound very ground down by him, your situation.

Can I poke my nose in.

Addressing each in turn :

Religion: are you a standard UK religion... Surely most say about honouring your spouse... And je is not doing this by abusing you. Any religion and a god who would seek to punish you? Surely God would want you /need you to be free of abuse.

Poor mental health: in every single woman I've worked with fleeing domestic abuse /violence...
It WAS rocky... A massive change... But they all TO A WOMAN HAD IMPROVED MENTAL HEALTH INSIDE 4-6 MONTHS OF LEAVING...

Don't underestimate what living with an abuser impacts on your health..
Survivors may have and are not limited to anxiety, depression, PTSD and worsens any psychoses.

Penniless: surely you won't be?any settlement will start at a 50:50 split? (assuming you've been married for a whole and you haven't just married him when he inherited Grin).

Someone legal will advise im sure... But I suspect your best chance of getting cash and not relaying on him for an impoverished old age... Is to leave!

Flowers
Swipe left for the next trending thread