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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband’s millions on his death?

170 replies

AllFriendsIn · 13/01/2022 19:19

Are any will writers or lawyers able to tell me what would happen to my husband’s estate? We are legally married and not separated, he has children I do not, he has inherited over £1m+ which he does not share with me. I am financially, emotionally and sometimes physically abused by him.
AIBU to try and find out what my situation would be on his death? I’m not planning on killing him in case you were wondering! Please don’t make this about leaving him it’s not an option.

OP posts:
Nomoreusernames1244 · 13/01/2022 19:29

If there is no will (there could be a secret one, it’s not unheard of) you would get everything

Are you sure? I think probate rules are wife gets up to £270k, and half the remainder, the rest is divvy’d up between any children.

Original poster
AllFriendsIn · 13/01/2022 19:29

I’m worried he has a secret will.
No grandchildren yet, we’re 60’s.

OP posts:
BooksAndGin · 13/01/2022 19:29

Why is leaving not a option?

[email protected]

IncompleteSenten · 13/01/2022 19:29

If he's this awful he probably has a will you don't know about leaving his money to his children and leaving you sweet fuck all. You could challenge it but that can take years.

If he has no will then what you would get depends where you are.

It must be a horrible life when all you have to look forward to is the possibility of him dying before you do and praying he's not made a will or given his children most of his money before his death.

You could end up old and penniless. Unless he has you locked in a room then leaving is always an option.
It may be an option you are unwilling to consider but it is an option.

housemaus · 13/01/2022 19:29

In theory, it depends if he has a will: if he doesn't, then you would inherit everything automatically. Even if he doesn't, the starting point should be that you'd keep anything that was jointly owned.

If he did have a will and some of his property was solely owned by him, then he could leave that to someone else. If you're financially dependent on him and he had completely cut you out of the will by designating all his assets as just his, not joint, you'd have legal grounds as his spouse to contest the will as not having been sufficiently provided for.

If he does have a will, but he made it before you were married and hasn't changed it since, your marriage revokes the will and you would inherit everything.

So it depends how he has the £1m - if he's got it solely in his name in property, etc, then he can leave that to his children (you could still contest it, but it wouldn't automatically go to you). If it's just cash/shares/etc then legally I think it'd be much more difficult for him to 'ringfence' that from you - but there are many variables that could change that.

I really hope you're okay. I know you say leaving isn't an option, but if you need advice or help at any point at all, Refuge's domestic abuse helpline is 0808 2000 247 and available any time. You can also email [email protected].

And Mumsnet is always good for advice, support, and strength. Flowers

LawnFever · 13/01/2022 19:30

Why can’t you leave? You’d be better off, financially and emotionally.

pollygartertidywife · 13/01/2022 19:30

There is never 'no option' but to leave. Of course there are very very complicated and difficult reasons why it would seem impossible but no human being needs to be shackled to another for life. There is also no situation where a wife cannot divorce her husband for the unreasonable behaviour you describe - and be entitled to some division of assets from the marriage.

If your belief that divorce not being optional is based on religious beliefs, that is not a legal reason for remaining married and as far as I am aware there is no religion which requires a woman to remain with an abusive husband.

If you are feeling brave enough to give your reasons for the non-option to leave. There are a lot of sensible people on here able to give good advice without resorting to the knee-jerk LTB (leave the bastard) answers.. but could give advice on how to improve your situation at your own pace.

Why don't you give us a try ?

ShanghaiDiva · 13/01/2022 19:30

@Gymrats

If there is no will (there could be a secret one, it’s not unheard of) you would get everything, which is why it’s likely he does have a will so his children can get something
This is not correct. Depends on the value of the estate and if there are children, grandchildren.
PonyPatter44 · 13/01/2022 19:31

Do you really hate each other? Is that why you're assuming he's cut you out of the will? You both might live another 30 years fretting over this - is it worth it?

Nomoreusernames1244 · 13/01/2022 19:31

In theory, it depends if he has a will: if he doesn't, then you would inherit everything automatically

No, she wouldn’t. Probate rule would apply.

ShanghaiDiva · 13/01/2022 19:33

@housemaus

In theory, it depends if he has a will: if he doesn't, then you would inherit everything automatically. Even if he doesn't, the starting point should be that you'd keep anything that was jointly owned.

If he did have a will and some of his property was solely owned by him, then he could leave that to someone else. If you're financially dependent on him and he had completely cut you out of the will by designating all his assets as just his, not joint, you'd have legal grounds as his spouse to contest the will as not having been sufficiently provided for.

If he does have a will, but he made it before you were married and hasn't changed it since, your marriage revokes the will and you would inherit everything.

So it depends how he has the £1m - if he's got it solely in his name in property, etc, then he can leave that to his children (you could still contest it, but it wouldn't automatically go to you). If it's just cash/shares/etc then legally I think it'd be much more difficult for him to 'ringfence' that from you - but there are many variables that could change that.

I really hope you're okay. I know you say leaving isn't an option, but if you need advice or help at any point at all, Refuge's domestic abuse helpline is 0808 2000 247 and available any time. You can also email [email protected].

And Mumsnet is always good for advice, support, and strength. Flowers

You will not automatically inherit everything if he dies intestate.
theremustonlybeone · 13/01/2022 19:33

So you dont have kids together and he has a large inheritance and your pissed off you cant access it . How long have you actually been together? 20yrs is very different to 2 and if I re married in the event of may DH death I would protect my assets too.

housemaus · 13/01/2022 19:33

@mobear

You’re more likely to see some of that money if you divorce him. You have no control over what he may put in a will.
This is true. I imagine a court would look very unfavourably on someone leaving his ex-wife with nothing, especially if you can show you've not got any money of your own and it's down to him, and you'd potentially be eligible for legal aid due to the abuse and your financial situation.

That way a financial agreement would be reached that would take into account your needs.

ShanghaiDiva · 13/01/2022 19:34

@Nomoreusernames1244

In theory, it depends if he has a will: if he doesn't, then you would inherit everything automatically

No, she wouldn’t. Probate rule would apply.

Correct. www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will
Suzi888 · 13/01/2022 19:34

See a solicitor, no-one here will know for sure.

housemaus · 13/01/2022 19:35

@Nomoreusernames1244

In theory, it depends if he has a will: if he doesn't, then you would inherit everything automatically

No, she wouldn’t. Probate rule would apply.

Apologies, I didn't mean to share incorrect info - didn't realise this was the case!
Scrabblecrabapple · 13/01/2022 19:36

Why can’t you leave? I know you said don’t make it about that but please can you explain as best as possible. I think this will be important for the advice you are given.

Cocomarine · 13/01/2022 19:36

@housemaus you’re simply wrong about intestacy rules.

Original poster
AllFriendsIn · 13/01/2022 19:36

Thank you for your kindness. Religion, poor mental health, penniless are three reasons I can’t leave. I really can’t.

OP posts:
BuanoKubiamVej · 13/01/2022 19:38

Even if he has a secret will, if you are currently financially dependent on him and he doesn't leave you anything in the will, you can challenge the will

www.meadeking.co.uk/insight/dependency-claims-and-challenging-a-will/

The above can equally be used if the money is left in a trust in such a way as to control and abuse you from beyond the grave, which is probably the most likely outcome.

If there is no will, then the intestacy laws will give you the first £270k and 50% of the remainder. The other 50% will be shared among your children.

elelel · 13/01/2022 19:38

Divorce him now, Roy can. There are agencies to help. Womens Aid is a good starter.

BuanoKubiamVej · 13/01/2022 19:40

(Sorry I mean his children)

Original poster
AllFriendsIn · 13/01/2022 19:40

We’ve been married for 22 years. He was a 40 year old divorcee with young children when I met him.

OP posts:
pollygartertidywife · 13/01/2022 19:40

Ok OP.. let's look at them one at a time.

  1. Which religion ? Let's start there and unpick it. I'm not aware of a religion that requires you to stay in an abusive relationship or one that condones a husbands abuse to his wife. I am ready for you to tell me though. As I am by no means an expert on all the worlds religious practices.
TroublesomeTrucks · 13/01/2022 19:41

The last time I looked at this, if he dies without a will, the first £250k is yours and the remainder split equally between you and all his children. I believe. Don't quote me on this though!