Is calling women ' birds ' or duck rude ?

[YogaRebel]

I was brought up to believe referring to a woman as a ' bird' is quite rude and belittling. Eg I saw him with his bird the other day.
What his new birds name ?

My husband disagrees - he thinks it's a term of endearment / description and just a colloquialism in certain parts of the country.

I'd say that's true of duck eg ' Ay up me duck ' but not convinced about bird. I don't want my teenage son referring to girls as birds but I'm told I'm being OTT.

I'm from Stoke and duck is 'the' term of endearment here. Bird doesn't bother me in the slightest. In fact, you could call me anything and I wouldn't care. I don't get offended ever, life is much easier this way.

I crew up around alot of Newfies (Newfoundlanders) that used the term 'duck' and "ducky" for both male & female. It was used as greeting, and was meant as a term of endearment, like "Hello Ducky, how are you today.", or 'Ducky, can I get you something else."

I view it to be equivalent to the greeting, "sweetie" that is often used as a greeting in the southern United States, especially by restaurant waiter staff.

'Birds' is a bit disrespectful but 'duck' is more endearing if maybe a bit twee.

I’m from the south west. Here “bird/burde” is used slightly differently. It‘a more of a term of endearment, often said among female friends, not by men in the sexist “that’s my bird” kind of way.
My sister and friends say things like “thanks bird” in the same way female friends might affectionately call each other chick. Like someone mentioned previously, it’s quite similar to the usage of “maid” in Cornwall which is used by both sexes.

I really hate it and I hate co.plete strangers calling me Babs.

My dad refers to my sister and I as "birdy". As in "how was you day birdy?".

My Granddad always called me and my sister little maids.

Duck I've heard it in places like derby and stoke on trent this is a term used for men and women but personally I would not call a woman a bird I think that could be seen as offensive

I think the intention behind it is key here.

A misogynist using the word, is different than a scouser (very common in Liverpool), saying 'i see Fred has got a new bird'

I know people who use both duck and bird, but they use it for either sex

I've heard men being called duck, but never heard a man being referred to as a bird.

I think it depends on the intention of the person saying it. Anything can be offensive if you put the right emphasis on it. "Love", "sweetheart", "darling etc can all be used as terms of endearment, or to patronise women. Hard to explain the difference via text, but think:
"yes, my love 😘" Vs "yeah, alright love 🙄"

I'm not particularly keen on the term "bird", but don't mind hen/pet/love/sweetheart/darling or anything else really.

100% agree with you.

Bird is definitely a derogatory term, used to talk about woman, in my eyes.

Duck is a male/female term more endearing .

"Bird", I agree. Not so much about "Duck" which I've heard used to refer to both men and women in places like Lincolnshire.

Am from the South East and bird has always been considered rather patronising in my circles!

Bird is extremely misogynistic and rude.

Duck is probably a regional term for both sexes?

'bird' is just another English word for 'girl'' or 'young woman', originally often spelled 'burd'.

It's nothing to do with feathered creatures.

It survived in regional and working-class use, which is why "educated", middle-class people confused it with 'bird' meaning an avian and always spelled it that way

'maid' is also originally just a word for 'girl' and survived with that meaning in regional speech.

You have examples of the two words in the names of two characters in folklore and literature, Burd Ellen and Maid Marian.

In my part of Scotland the male equivalent is "man"
"Billy is Senga's man. " "I'll ask my man" " I'll get ma man to sort it". It's not intentionally offensive but I hate it. Hen, duck all ok.

Duck is fine, and not gendered in my experience.

Bird isn't generally seen as an insult as such but it is certainly gendered and doesn't tend to be used respectfully.

In your examples of "I saw him with his bird" and "What's his new birds name?" the use of possessive "his bird" suggests a sort of ownership that also seems problematic. "I saw him with his woman" would also be a bit off, to me (even though I would never suggest "woman" was an insulting word). It somehow objectifies /commodifies an individual by reducing her to just her sex, and making her "belong to" a man.

Mostly if I've heard "bird" used it's been in this sort of context, which makes it difficult to know whether the word is itself an issue or if it's the context that makes it so.

Bird is usually outdated and offensive. Usually it would be said behind the women’s back than to her face. Although some cockneys do say it, like my mum will say ‘oi bird’ if she’s telling me off 😂 That doesn’t mean it’s acceptable for your kids to say it! I wouldn’t let my sons use it.

Duck is a colloquial term up north isn’t it, I didn’t think it was specific to women? Like ‘alright me duck’ - I don’t know for sure but it feels less misogynistic.

Except - he's right. Read the thread.

This.
To me ‘bird’ is not quite as bad as the US ‘broad’ but it’s not very far off.

‘Duck’ is usually a friendly regional thing, same as ‘pet’ in some areas, and I’d never find either offensive.

I had absolutely thought the word meant bird as in feathered creatures . Burd makes so much more sense! Thanks for sharing.

A female neighbour of mine in London always greeted me as 'Hello Duck'. I capitalise as if it was my name because she never used my name but it was a warm friendly greeting. Her husband was very friendly as well but polite and gentlemanly and never called me Duck. Or 'love' or any other such familiarity.

I can't stand men who call women they don't know my love (the glib 'my' makes it worse than merely 'love') or sweetheart or sweetie or darling, with that easy assumption of ownership. It's the same with men who shake hands with the man in a couple but kiss the woman. It's the proprietorial sense of it.

The slang use of bird is generally for young women, as is the American slang chick. It carries at least a hint of diminution.