Is calling women ' birds ' or duck rude ?

[YogaRebel]

I was brought up to believe referring to a woman as a ' bird' is quite rude and belittling. Eg I saw him with his bird the other day.
What his new birds name ?

My husband disagrees - he thinks it's a term of endearment / description and just a colloquialism in certain parts of the country.

I'd say that's true of duck eg ' Ay up me duck ' but not convinced about bird. I don't want my teenage son referring to girls as birds but I'm told I'm being OTT.

To me bird is very 70 s comedian and is nasty. I wouldn’t want my teen saying it either.

I quite like being referred to as duck, very Yorkshire

@etulosba

Again, you will be aware I was not referring to the beginning of the 20th century.

Like or lump it, the use of bird is alive and well and still common parlance amongst males. Less so amongst the younger generation I agree.

🤣 Aren't you hilarious.

I don't like being referred to as any of these but can recognise when someone is saying it as a regional neutral /affectionate way.

You have told your DH you don't like the term and he should respect that and not use it even if he doesn't understand why. It is the same as any word used to refer to a group of people which someone from that group has told you (in general, not specifically the OP) they find offensive. You don't have to agree that it is offensive or that you meant it in an unkind way, just respect their opinion as someone from that group and don't use that word. Simple.

Bird doesn't bother me but is different than duck. I call everyone duck, men, women, children. Young or old.

@Hemingwayzcatz

I hate being referred to as a bird, it really pisses me off. I also hate ‘missus’. I don’t mind love because it’s very common here in Yorkshire and I’m used to it, men and women are called love here. I just find bird and missus really degrading.

I am not a fan of 'missus,' but like you, I don't mind 'love,' and I don't mind 'darlin' or 'bab' (very black country) or 'duck.'

I HATE being called 'MATE' by men though. When a man says 'allright mate?' It makes my teeth itch. Reason being, IME men call a woman 'mate' when they want to make it clear they don't fancy her/they're not romantically interested. I think 'don't call me MATE. I don't need to know you don't fancy me. I don't fancy you either.'

I know. Daft. It's just how I feel.

Apologies as I haven't time to read the whole thread yet, but I believe it derives from the old English word 'Byrd' (or similar spelling, meaning 'woman') . So innocent enough beginnings, at least!

How nice of your DH to explain sexist language to you. I always learn so much more from men's reckons than I do from my own experience as a woman or the intelligent, well read women I know.

Uninformed male reckons are just the best!

Hate ‘bird’ as much as I hate ‘the wife’
Once seen someone refer to his partner as ‘snaketits’ on a joint selfie - yes, he did end up cheating, yes they did end up divorced.

To deflect to other objectification of woman I once dated a guy who referred to my womb as ‘the box’ - dumped him not long after.

Also in the south west here and I regularly get greeted by people ‘alright bird?’.
Generally with a Cornish accent. In that case it’s certainly a colloquialism and not offensive at all.

If I heard someone discussing ‘that bird’ or their ‘bird’ I would think they were idiots straight out of the 1970s.

Context is everything

Some of my female friends and I call each other bird, but we do so directly to each other. ‘All right bird?’

As others have said, it’s more commonly used by men to talk about women and in that context, I’m not keen.

My FIL calls just about everyone 'flower' maybe not the taxman but still Perhaps it's a Northern thing?

@Bakewelltart987

In liverpool we say bird. Woman will say it about other woman seen Tim an his new bird and men will introduce his new girl as his bird doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Definitely an every day term in Liverpool.

But only as a synonym for someone's 'girlfriend'

Wow do you live in the 60s? I don't think I've heard anyone refer to a woman as 'bird' in decades! But if I heard it I wouldn't really think about it - probably think how nostalgic.

'Bird' feels outdated to me. I don't like it, but I don't think it's always meant in a negative or belittling way... I wouldn't encourage its use, but don't find it horribly insulting, either.

Might vary from area to area. Where I am from birds would be quite sexist. Ducks is a universal greeting as in hello me ducks. Perhaps this might translate as folks? Can be male or female. Not sexist.

I'm in the south west and women are called birds, with lots of emphasis on the "rrr" sound. For example "geddon birrrd!" Women greet each other in the street with it. Not offensive at all.

@onedayoranother

Wow do you live in the 60s? I don't think I've heard anyone refer to a woman as 'bird' in decades! But if I heard it I wouldn't really think about it - probably think how nostalgic.

Really!? It's still very much used where I live.

Bird '- to someones face, someone you know well, havent seen for a bit etc, ie 'alright bird, how've you been'... 'ello bird, not seen you in ages'.. etc, fine.

Duck - ditto.

Bird - about someone female who isn't present/you don't know etc 'hows your bird'... not fine.

Now how do we all feel about 'cock'...
Dim. of 'cocker', very northern. Can be derogatory ie. 'ee thinks ee's cock o' the town...' or familiar ie 'eh up cock, how're you doin?'..

Confused the heck out of my very much southern boyfriend when he'd recently moved up north and was being introduced to my elderly neighbour!

Re 'bird' being familiar and ok - never heard it in the north, very common thing when I was at college in the south west and now that I live on the south west edge of the west midlands.

@EmpressSuiko

It’s definitely rude! I grew up in Essex and despised being referred to as a bird and would correct anyone that said it to me. its only ever used towards woman and just makes me feel icky and gross, I am not a bird, I am not an inferior, weak creature, I am a woman of equal ground to any man.

I think you’re looking far too much into this.

People are not saying ‘bird’ with images of small sparrows in their minds. Just like I can say the word ‘second’ for someone who won silver, without conjuring up images of a hand moving across a clock.

Also, an eagle or a swan are certainly not weak.

For the people saying it’s straight from the 1970s etc, do you feel the same way about the word bloke?

I’d say they’re pretty much equal and used in the same way

@Flippydip

I'm in the south west and women are called birds, with lots of emphasis on the "rrr" sound. For example "geddon birrrd!" Women greet each other in the street with it. Not offensive at all.

Also SW and and I agree. ‘Maid’ was common 50 years ago, but I don’t hear that any more.

‘Pet’ or ‘petal’ sounds belittling to my ear. (I call the newsagent pet if he calls me darling, which is also annoying)

Bird to me sounds sexist.

Duck is colloquial but I find it common. Am not into dialects.