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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

think I hit a car?

77 replies

carhelpplease · 12/01/2022 14:37

Hi all, NC

Today, I drove into a private car park to meet a friend for lunch. I was driving into a space and it was tight. As I was driving in my phone rang with the emergency notification from my dad (he's disabled). I couldn't answer as was driving, got into the space, got out and checked i was in all the lines. Then called dad back, he had fallen so I needed to leave. I then went out the space.

I pulled into a bigger space to make another call to say I couldn't come to my friend, then drove to my dads. However, I had this weird niggly feeling.

When I got to my dad's I did notice I had a new scratch on the corner of my car. I THINK I may have scratched the car next to me when I was driving in as it was tight. But I didn't hear or see anything to think I had, but I was also panicky as I saw the notification coming through on my car.

I went back later but the car wasn't there. There is plenty of CCTV so if I did do anything, they can get my plate and claim insurance and I won't argue - it's far.

I'm just panicking that if I did do something (my gut is saying I did), then I look like I've hit and run?

Any one know what I can do?

OP posts:
Original poster
carhelpplease · 12/01/2022 14:38

it's fair*

OP posts:
daimbarsatemydogsbone · 12/01/2022 14:41

Not sure what your AIBU is?

I can't imagine a situation where I wouldn't know - but a woman bumped my car in a car park once, and when I got out to talk to her about it the first thing she said was "I didn't hit you".

mumofmunchkin · 12/01/2022 14:45

Don't panic, I did something similar a few months ago - clipped a wing mirror as I drove past someone, panicked and carried on and dropped the kids at school, then drove back to leave a note on the car and it had gone.

You can report yourself to the police on whatever the non emergency line is that escapes me right now (101?), or our local force has an online form where you can do it. Then if someone contacts them about you, you haven't 'hit and run', and if no one contacts them within a couple of days they take no action and close the case.

MorningStarling · 12/01/2022 14:47

@mumofmunchkin

Don't panic, I did something similar a few months ago - clipped a wing mirror as I drove past someone, panicked and carried on and dropped the kids at school, then drove back to leave a note on the car and it had gone.

You can report yourself to the police on whatever the non emergency line is that escapes me right now (101?), or our local force has an online form where you can do it. Then if someone contacts them about you, you haven't 'hit and run', and if no one contacts them within a couple of days they take no action and close the case.

Yes just self-report to the police on 101 giving details of where and when. That way you're covered.
TempName01 · 12/01/2022 14:48

Before you get a pile on saying you shouldn’t be driving, I did something similar once, I don’t know what possessed me but I just panicked and ended up so anxious that I reported myself, I didn’t even know if I had marked the car. Nothing came of it in the end but I worried myself sick for days.

girlmom21 · 12/01/2022 14:50

What's the damage like? What kind of scratch?

Normally if you've scraped a car you'd know. It's pretty loud even if it's only mild contact.

vivainsomnia · 12/01/2022 14:52

The fact you got out of the space to park somewhere bigger is very suspicious. Why would you do that? Why not call where you were and then go?

Original poster
carhelpplease · 12/01/2022 14:55

@girlmom21

What's the damage like? What kind of scratch?

Normally if you've scraped a car you'd know. It's pretty loud even if it's only mild contact.

this is what my dad said when I said it to him. he's convinced I can't have. I didn't hear or feel a thing. I don't drive a big car - just a normal saloon car and it was a normal saloon car too. I clocked a scratch on their car as I got to go out but didn't really think of it- but then my gut instinct went when I saw my car.

My car damage isn't actually noticeable, it is only because I had just done my car that I knew it looked different. I have the tiniest scratch, a hairline type, no paint.

My car is blue, there's is silver. But the scratch was white? like the scratch of their car colour. It was along the whole door because I noticed it.

I had no reason to think it was me and I don't want to say it was if it wasn't but I also had no reason to think it wasn't. I don't know.

I'm a fairly new driver!

OP posts:
Original poster
carhelpplease · 12/01/2022 14:58

@vivainsomnia

The fact you got out of the space to park somewhere bigger is very suspicious. Why would you do that? Why not call where you were and then go?
Called my dad in the car, so was still in it for a minute or two. Then went to drive to my dads. Then saw a massive empty area at the back - no cars- and realised I needed to tell my friend I won't be meeting her! I had forgotten in the first instance in a panic.

As I said, happy to pay whatever if I have done something.

OP posts:
tiredanddangerous · 12/01/2022 14:59

If you'd hit it you would know

girlmom21 · 12/01/2022 14:59

I don't think you could've caused a hairline scratch if you'd made contact.
A hairline scratch is more likely to be caused by someone squeezing past and their zip catching your car.

Original poster
carhelpplease · 12/01/2022 15:00

TBH, even if I did know i'd hit it, I couldn't have done anything as I had nothing on me except my wallet and keys. I suppose I could have gone into a shop and asked?

I feel so shaky and guilty now.

OP posts:
InTheNightWeWillWish · 12/01/2022 15:04

If the scratch is the full length of your door, you’d have definitely heard it. Even the tiniest catch makes a big noise.

It’s likely that someone has caught yours with their keys, the zip on their bag/coat or had something poking out of a shopping bag.

Mrscaptainraymondholt · 12/01/2022 15:04

Hopefully you will have felt the bump but please log with 101. Someone scratched my car in a car park when I’d been gone just 20 mins and it’s cost my insurance £2500 to replace the door panel and wing mirror and I’ve had to pay £250 myself as excess because no one bothered to leave a note and it must have been clear what they had done…. Angry

think I hit a car?
think I hit a car?
think I hit a car?
Rangoon · 12/01/2022 15:05

It's a very good idea to make sure you have a pen and a notepad kept permanently in the glove box. That way if you have to leave a note or take a note of somebody's details, record a plate number etc you are prepared.

Original poster
carhelpplease · 12/01/2022 15:08

@Mrscaptainraymondholt

Hopefully you will have felt the bump but please log with 101. Someone scratched my car in a car park when I’d been gone just 20 mins and it’s cost my insurance £2500 to replace the door panel and wing mirror and I’ve had to pay £250 myself as excess because no one bothered to leave a note and it must have been clear what they had done…. Angry
Oh I am so sorry.

The car was silver, so the mark wasn't as noticeable as yours but looked similar to this.

But I heard nothing. Their wingmirror wasn't damaged at all but I only had a quick glance as didn't realise I was 'looking' I was just observing as normal.

I have OCD so I do sometimes worry about things like this and I keep replaying the parking and can't tell.

I didn't hear any noise which makes me so convinced I couldn't but then I am like, maybe it was just quiet?

OP posts:
SpiderinaWingMirror · 12/01/2022 15:19

It sounds like you are stressed and your brain has picked on this to worry about.

  1. you probably didn't hit them
  2. if you did all they need is your insurance
  3. frankly the police have better things to do.
Pedalpushers · 12/01/2022 15:24

@carhelpplease the first thing I wondered when I saw your OP is if you might be an OCD sufferer, as this sort of anxiety is classic.

Practise acceptance that you might have in fact hit the car, acknowledge that being dragged in by the police for hit and run is an incredibly unlikely catastrophic scenario, and stop going over the event in your mind as you're going to start convincing yourself more and more that you hit the car. Remember, if you don't remember or didn't see something happening, the likelihood is, it didn't.

Isgooglebroken · 12/01/2022 15:27

Someone drive past DH’s parked car and clipped it. He played the dash cam and you could see the impact & cars number plate. He did report it and the police contacted the other driver with our details. It was sorted with no problems and no other involvement from the police.

strawberrymilk7 · 12/01/2022 15:41

I would do as other PPs have suggested and log it with your local police station then forget about it unless you are notified.

@Mrscaptainraymondholt did you post a pic of your dog cuddled up by mistake Grin

ShirleyPhallus · 12/01/2022 15:45

I am just shocked that no one has come by the tell you that the safest way to get in to a parking space is to reverse in Wink (classic MN girl guidary)

I don’t think you have much to worry about but I agree with self reporting

girlmom21 · 12/01/2022 15:47

@Mrscaptainraymondholt at least you had a good boy to comfort you 🥰

Hearwego · 12/01/2022 15:48

You don’t know if you hit the car. I’d imagine you’d notice if you collided with a parked car, even a minor prang.
I wouldn’t do anything personally. Tay damage to your car could be something else that you just noticed.

lljkk · 12/01/2022 15:52

I would assume someone keyed my car. For malice most likely.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 12/01/2022 15:52

You'd know if you hit a car - even if you're going really slowly, you can hear and feel it happen.