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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

think I hit a car?

77 replies

carhelpplease · 12/01/2022 14:37

Hi all, NC

Today, I drove into a private car park to meet a friend for lunch. I was driving into a space and it was tight. As I was driving in my phone rang with the emergency notification from my dad (he's disabled). I couldn't answer as was driving, got into the space, got out and checked i was in all the lines. Then called dad back, he had fallen so I needed to leave. I then went out the space.

I pulled into a bigger space to make another call to say I couldn't come to my friend, then drove to my dads. However, I had this weird niggly feeling.

When I got to my dad's I did notice I had a new scratch on the corner of my car. I THINK I may have scratched the car next to me when I was driving in as it was tight. But I didn't hear or see anything to think I had, but I was also panicky as I saw the notification coming through on my car.

I went back later but the car wasn't there. There is plenty of CCTV so if I did do anything, they can get my plate and claim insurance and I won't argue - it's far.

I'm just panicking that if I did do something (my gut is saying I did), then I look like I've hit and run?

Any one know what I can do?

OP posts:

Hearwego · 12/01/2022 15:53

Even in the worse case scenario, the police would just write to you and ask for a statement.
You could say to the best of your knowledge you didn’t hit the car but accept it’s a possibility, and accept liability.
I very much doubt anything will come from it.
If anything does happen, you’d get a letter in the post. Don’t worry the police won’t come to your door with blue lights and sirens on. That’s isn’t how these things work.

Mrscaptainraymondholt · 12/01/2022 15:59

Sorry bonus dog wrapped up photo! 😂

comedycentral · 12/01/2022 16:00

It could be your anxiety with the situation as others say. My anxiety in the past caused me to think I must have gone through lots of red lights on my way to a situation. I convinced myself for days, I even went on the internet to check for cameras along the route. It was like my brain was giving me something to worry about. It's like when I'm also rushing out the house and obsess over hair straighteners being left on or something. Good luck with it all OP.

Poppy101010 · 12/01/2022 16:01

I've been in the exact same position as you . I called 101, they took details and I never heard anything again . But I felt less anxious knowing I'd got in touch with them just in case someone did report a bump / scratch .

I honestly wouldn't worry too much . These things happen x

saltandpepper234 · 12/01/2022 16:05

This happened to me once. I honestly wasn’t sure if I had hit a car or not. I went back and left a note which probably made me look silly but said “sorry I don’t know if I hit your car but it was tricky getting out of the space let me know if you have any problems and I’ll pay for it”. They text me back saying all was well which was lucky because the incident happened after a job interview and I ended up working there for 3 years!

OneTimeThrowAway · 12/01/2022 16:06

It's quite hard to get close enough to damage the side of a car (with your side) without having to go through some pretty delicate untangling.

If you were marked on a corner and them on a side then it would be more likely your fault, but side door and side door, without some complicated driving to stop it turning into a complete tragedy, seems unlikely

GabriellaMontez · 12/01/2022 16:09

Do nothing. If someone gets in touch, apologise, say you didn't hear anything at the time and exchange insurance details.

What is the worse that can happen here?

Original poster

carhelpplease · 12/01/2022 16:19

@GabriellaMontez

Do nothing. If someone gets in touch, apologise, say you didn't hear anything at the time and exchange insurance details.

What is the worse that can happen here?

I'm worried I'd get a criminal record

OP posts:

BoredZelda · 12/01/2022 16:28

I feel so shaky and guilty now.

That's a rather extreme response, surely?

Hoppinggreen · 12/01/2022 16:31

I think you know that you hit it and are now panicking

Original poster

carhelpplease · 12/01/2022 16:35

@Hoppinggreen

I think you know that you hit it and are now panicking

maybe subconsciously? Definitely not at the time.

OP posts:

wintersdreams · 12/01/2022 16:45

I’d just self report to 101. I’ve done it in the past when I clipped a car and couldn’t immediately pull over. They were lovely and noted it all down- I never heard anything back but it put my mind at ease!

Original poster

carhelpplease · 12/01/2022 16:47

I tried calling the car park place and they said it is private property and so will not help without a court order (regarding cctv etc.)

Worried about karma too!

OP posts:

girlmom21 · 12/01/2022 16:48

@carhelpplease

I tried calling the car park place and they said it is private property and so will not help without a court order (regarding cctv etc.)

Worried about karma too!

There's nothing else you can do except report to 101 and your insurer

MintyGreenDream · 12/01/2022 16:51

I was driving in nose to tail traffic and going really slowly obviously misjudged how close I was to the car parked up alongside me and heard my wing mirror catch theirs..worst of it was the woman was sat in the drivers seat and we just looked at each other in horror.I turned back round but she had gone and I was shittimg myself.Nothing ever came of it thankfully.

Zwellers · 12/01/2022 16:53

People have told you what to do. Dial 101/ your local police station and report. That's what I also did in a similar situation. They noted the details and confirmed it wouldn't count a a hit and run. Never heard anything about it.

Original poster

carhelpplease · 12/01/2022 17:13

@Zwellers

OK. Can someone help me then, I am considering calling 101 but I have been put off by people. The people i've told are convinced I'd know for sure. I have a checking behaviour ( I check doors are locked, that no one has broken into my house etc) so I couldn't 'check' that I had done it after as the car was gone when I went back later. The car park is private and has barriers for members only but the barriers are up (it's free to members but anyone could enter so I think it makes it public).

They've said if I were to report it, and I wasn't the person who did it but the person before me, then I would pay the price. They said no forensic will be done to establish who hit what. They also don't think from my description that my car could have physically done the damage due to different heights. But I don't know.

I'm leaning towards reporting myself just in case, but scared about the repercussions as this isn't an abnormal thought process of mine.

In case anyone wants to know what it's like having OCD, this kind of torturous event is every day for me, but I am usually convinced I've not locked the door.

OP posts:

girlmom21 · 12/01/2022 17:15

If you report it they'll only pass your insurance details to the other party if they report it too. There'll be no criminal or forensic investigation. The chances of them reporting damage that already existed on the off chance is almost none.

girlmom21 · 12/01/2022 17:16

On the other hand, if you don't report it and there's later a claim on your insurance policy your insurer could cancel your policy for breaching it by not reporting.

That'd be costly and complex for you.

Original poster

carhelpplease · 12/01/2022 17:29

Oh my god, I called 101. Weirdest experience. I said that this may sound weird but I think I could have hit a car, I didn't hear anything but I have a bad feeling. She said you would have heard it, I said there was no noise, she said 'you didn't then, goodbye' and hung up!

OP posts:

vivainsomnia · 12/01/2022 17:33

I pulled into a bigger space to make another call to say I couldn't come to my friend, then drove to my dads
But why would you have pulled out of that space, park in another space to make that call to your friend? There was no need to move the car to make that call. That doesn't make sense.

vivainsomnia · 12/01/2022 17:36

I also don't understand that noise business. I scratched my car a year ago against my wall and I didn't hear anything. It was a small scratch but enough to require professional touching.

Original poster

carhelpplease · 12/01/2022 17:54

@vivainsomnia so sat in car after just parking and called dad straight away. He’s in pain and needs my help.
I reverse and go to drive off, but then remember my friend so pull in to a space on the other side, call her and then go. It is a car park for about 300 cars so it’s big. I would go straight onto the main road otherwise and I don’t like to even do hands free when driving as I find it distracting

OP posts:

Original poster

carhelpplease · 12/01/2022 17:55

Also concerned there was just no noise. I’ve never felt like I’ve hit a car before. Well, once but someone was in the car and we were both parked and she didn’t say anything and was busy. So I must not have. So must be something in my gut.

Annoyed at 101 response now and feel too awkward to call. I called a local place attached to the car park and asked if anyone has given anything and they said no so I gave them my details!

OP posts:

Goldi321 · 12/01/2022 17:56

I used to suffer from severe anxiety and I recognise myself in this post. I used to drive myself crazy thinking I had hit cars and just not noticed, or run over cats (even though there were no cats in the road at the time). I would constantly be running through scenarios in my head, and ways that I could've hit cars without noticing it. Everyone is right, when you hit something you know about it! I would highly recommend CBT/therapy to help you through this, you need help to logically break the cycle of anxiety.

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