think I hit a car?

[carhelpplease]

Hi all, NC

Today, I drove into a private car park to meet a friend for lunch. I was driving into a space and it was tight. As I was driving in my phone rang with the emergency notification from my dad (he's disabled). I couldn't answer as was driving, got into the space, got out and checked i was in all the lines. Then called dad back, he had fallen so I needed to leave. I then went out the space.

I pulled into a bigger space to make another call to say I couldn't come to my friend, then drove to my dads. However, I had this weird niggly feeling.

When I got to my dad's I did notice I had a new scratch on the corner of my car. I THINK I may have scratched the car next to me when I was driving in as it was tight. But I didn't hear or see anything to think I had, but I was also panicky as I saw the notification coming through on my car.

I went back later but the car wasn't there. There is plenty of CCTV so if I did do anything, they can get my plate and claim insurance and I won't argue - it's far.

I'm just panicking that if I did do something (my gut is saying I did), then I look like I've hit and run?

Any one know what I can do?

You can report online. Why don't you do that and clear your conscience?

I'm no expert on OCD but I know a little and this is classic checking behaviour, as you must be aware OP. Obsessing over what if I have done x bad behaviour and not noticed, then wanting to confess to or get reassurance from different people by explaining, calling again and again. Which gives you relief for a second before the doubts creep in again.

@TreeSmuggler

I'm no expert on OCD but I know a little and this is classic checking behaviour, as you must be aware OP. Obsessing over what if I have done x bad behaviour and not noticed, then wanting to confess to or get reassurance from different people by explaining, calling again and again. Which gives you relief for a second before the doubts creep in again.

This is true. Do you have other anxieties?

You're not going to get a criminal record.

@GabriellaMontez my main anxiety is around the front door, checking it is locked. Convincing myself I haven’t and feeling sick to the core until I can get a neighbour to check. I never have left it open.

I also think someone is breaking in every night so I check the house is ok regularly.

I’m so tired.

The difference here though is that I saw damage on the other car and there is a tiny scratch on my car but I don’t know if it was already there. Some has hit my car and damaged it at some point and it’s 15 years old, I bought it second hand 6 months ago, so lots on it I am unsure of and not hugely bothered as long as it works fine and is safe.

@fairylightsandwaxmelts

You can report online. Why don't you do that and clear your conscience?

Seriously, read the thread!

@KrisAkabusi I have read the thread.

She said she and they weren't interested, so I suggested she report online instead so it was logged and she could relax.

Why is that a problem?

I think deep down, this niggling feeling is your conscience telling you that you have pranged it. Could you get in touch with the owner of the private car park and explain? You'll feel so much better if you own up- its always the right thing to do the right thing.

@AngelicaElizaAndPeggy that’s what I’m thinking. I called them and they called back and essentially said no. Only the person who’s car can request or do anything with a police incident number. They said that they’ve got my details but no one has reported anything.

I assume the person will just go through police if I have?

@carhelpplease
You’ve done what is reasonable, and you won’t be getting a criminal record for hit and run

If the other cars driver raises anything, associating it with the car park and you’re identified through CCTV or your details being given then even with only CCTV picking out your number plate the other cars insurers can trace your insurers and instigate a claim
You have made an effort and even if you hadn’t then you have not deliberately escaped

Something happened to a friend not long ago, her van was severely damaged in a slow incident (it was impossible to drive her van after), the other driver knew they had made contact, went back and forth and left.

There were numerous witnesses, so she would have had the number plate and it took place under CCTV with security watching live as well.

The next day the other driver came back, so we got photos of their damage.

They refused to cooperate or give insurance details, but it was just dealt with between insurers via the number plate.
Eventually the other driver acknowledged the incident had happened, but didn’t accept the level of damage. That was irrelevant and all sorted by insurers
No arrests, no criminal record, just stress and worry but all resolved in the end

For you the worst that will happen is confirming some paperwork and if a claim affects your no claims/next premium

Accidents can happen, nobody got hurt. It is possible to have minor contact when slow without feeling or hearing

I haven't submitted an online form because I don't know what form I should be submitting. I also don't know if this means I should contact insurance?

I keep being told not to and the 101 switchboard hanging up on me didn't help!

Any help?

@carhelpplease

Oh my god, I called 101. Weirdest experience. I said that this may sound weird but I think I could have hit a car, I didn't hear anything but I have a bad feeling. She said you would have heard it, I said there was no noise, she said 'you didn't then, goodbye' and hung up!

I think you have done all you need to do The noise when you clip another car is loud. Scraping paint off is like fingernails on a blackboard. If you didn't hear anything then the damage to your car has been done by someone else. Try to relax.

Thnak you @Beamur I did a live chat as well and they said it is not a police matter as I have no evidence either way. So I have forwarded myself the transcript to use as evidence of attempts.

I will leave it there and attempt to sleep!

Op you’ve done everything you can. I agree with others (and the police), you definitely would have felt and heard it if you’d clipped another car. It’s really Loud.
I mean this in the kindest way, but you seem very anxious. I hope you are ok. Is this generally how you are day to day? It must be exhausting for you mentally and emotionally. If you don’t have support already, please speak to your GP.
I hope this doesn’t come across as patronising, I know the toll that anxiety can take on a person.

My DD has intrusive thoughts OCD too. So, I'll use my technique for her on you. That's a good firm reassurance for you from the Police. Now go and sleep and if the thought comes back again, remind yourself of the facts and not the maybe's.

I’ve been in exactly the same situation, it was pouring with rain, I was reversing out of a space. As I pulled away I noticed the wheel arch of the car behind me was dented. I drove away, but then the over thinking kicked in. I checked my car and found a scratch and was completely convinced I had damaged the car. I was an anxious mess! I phoned 101 who said I could report online, which I did, but never heard anything back. Everyone kept saying, you really would know if you’d hit another car! But I just couldn’t believe them.
Then a few months later, as I was pulling out of my very tight drive (lots of parking issues!!) I clipped my neighbours car. I was driving super slow, the kids were being noisy and I was panicking about getting to school. But even with all that distraction I definitely felt the contact. There was no doubt over if I had or hadn’t hit a car. So please don’t worry, you really would know if you’d made contact and I wish I’d believed everyone before.
If you are still worried there are forms online to report yourself rather than phoning 101. There should be a link on your local police website.

I'd second the suggestion to speak to your GP about this and the stuff with the front door and getting the neighbours to check.

Get on top of this anxiety before it takes over anymore of your life.

Ignore any posters here who clearly haven't read your posts and don't have the full picture.

I see a therapist for OCD and was prescribed venaflaxine but didn't get on with it so take beta blockers.

I just wish people understood what living in my brain feels like, it is horrible. But the car thing is new for me!

I reported to police via online chat as I couldn't get through for ages on 101. In the end, live chat said as I don't have the details of the car and that no crime has been committed from evidence, then I can't do anything more. She told me to email the transcript as proof of my attempt to record. I did that so feel a bit better.

I am genuinely scared to go near the place again and see the car. I am fearful and feel like an evil person.

Hoping this feeling ends soon.

@fairylightsandwaxmelts

You'd know if you hit a car - even if you're going really slowly, you can hear and feel it happen.

The woman that hit our car had no clue. Thank good for the dash cam or we would have been over £400 out of pocket!

The woman that hit our car had no clue.

Had no clue, or denied it in the hope she'd get away with it?

The difference here though is that I saw damage on the other car and there is a tiny scratch on my car but I don’t know if it was already there.

I think you do know you hit the other car in some way & caused the damage.

It doesn't seem plausible that you happened to notice damage on your own car & another car, just by chance.

I do note your OCD which must be v hard. I don't think it's at play here tho - in that I don't think you are over thinking this, I think you did hit the car.

That being said, I'm not sure there's much more you can do now.

EarringsandLipstick

It doesn't seem plausible that you happened to notice damage on your own car & another car, just by chance

This is precisely what OCD with intrusive thoughts does. You notice things and make (frequently incorrect) connections.
Please don't make this harder than it needs to be for the OP.

Please don't make this harder than it needs to be for the OP.

I'm not trying to. My view is the account she gives doesn't sound plausible, even taking into account her description of her OCD. That's allowed you know!

@carhelpplease
You've made every effort you reasonably could to leave your details, both with the police and the car park owner. You have evidence of this, through your chat log and through your phone history.

I've been in a very similar situation and did the same - honestly, nothing came of it and months later my friend hit a parked car at low speed and I was shocked by how much I felt it!

You will be OK. Worst case scenario now, the person contacts you and you go through your insurance or pay for any repairs yourself. Nothing worse than that will happen, if anything happens at all.

@vivainsomnia

The fact you got out of the space to park somewhere bigger is very suspicious. Why would you do that? Why not call where you were and then go?

I do that quite often if I want to give myself or the other car (e.g spot car seats) more room.

You’ve done all you reasonably can do, or would be expected to do. Try to forget now and stop going over and over it in your head. You say you’re tired - that will be the anxiety and adrenaline. Try to distract yourself from thinking about it, relax and get an early night. Even if you did cause some damage, it was unintentional and you would pay for it if you could. Be kind to yourself. It’s not the end of the world xxx