to think this comment is totally inappropriate

[SantasLittleFriend]

I phoned my friend this evening to wish her a Merry Christmas & ask how her pg was going. My best mate is 41+5 weeks pg & a midwife came to do a sweep but it was'nt her regular midwife. She told her the usual that she should go into labour very soon blah blah, however, they said that with her DD 1 and she ended up getting to nearly 43 weeks & had to be induced.

The midwife told my friend that the best way to get into labour is to have sex but to swallow is more effective, my friend said "what do you mean by swallow" and she said "you know, oral". She wan't even laughing about it either.

I really cant believe a trained professional would say something like this. Should she report this midwife? I told her she should. I would be furious. Is she being unreasonable to report her because of this comment?

I find the thought of it disgusting. Then again I find the thought of curry equally as disgusting.

It was just a suggestion, one of several by the sound of it.

SLF - sorry but it is funny!

Yeah, and I bet she's never seen a cock and balls either. Hunker, you switch on a mo?

Pmsl at this thread. Massive over reaction from OP and I can't believe Hunker found a way to mention Mrs Mangel of 80s neighbours fame onto a thread about oral sex!

I'd like that tutorial, Snaf, but yes, best not to do it muffled. It'll lack gravitas. You'll be comfy though

I think it's fitting that pregnancy begins and ends with a dash of population paste, frankly

Didja like the "iced, not from the tap" quote, Ledodgy, didja didja?

I loved it Hunker I did!

SLF - yer mate is up the nelly she has obviously seen the pink oboe - nowt to be scared of there then. MW sounds a good laugh to me

Pig semen?

Much rather have a bit of partners.

Hatrick - lol hello yes a pregnant lady offended by sperm now thats an oxymoron

motherwort, squaw vine and gelsemium. - the ONLY way to bring on labour imo. my cousin tried all the normal ways and all failed. she saw some homeopathic person who recommended these and baby was here within 24 hours!

other people i know have told me what worked for them was eating lots of mangoes, rotating their hips on a birthing ball and side stepping down the stairs (left side first)

nice to know I was induced TWICE with pig semen - how revolting.

I think I will send my Bessie mate this thread & let her decide for herself if she is BU.

Glad some of you find it hilarious btw, not too sure if my mate will.

But that's more about her prudishness than the midwife.

Let's face it, this whole sex business is disgusting.

she's up da duff
baby dancing on her bladder
feeling so so tired

and complains MW made quip about BJ - oh come 0n pardon the pun

I couldn't agree more, herc. Filthy, filthy beasts, we humans.

How she could even bring herself to imagine writing a letter of complaint is beyond me. What would she say without sounding really pompous?

From gentlebirth.org midwifery archives:

"Oral Application of Semen
About fellatio: Actually, it would probably be beneficial, if the idea is to get the labour started. A great OB in Hamilton (John Lamont, I believe) spoke to our class about sexuality and pregnancy. He mentioned the concept that prostaglandins are absorbed 10X more efficiently through the gut than through the vaginal mucosa, with respect to semen and labour onset."

All I could find atm - will keep looking

She's going to give birth wearing her tights, a la Daphne, also from 1980s Neighbours?