I think he is, but AIBU to?
Was our child's 5th birthday yesterday. Not to Dc but to me he sulked and snapped for most of the day because I motioned for him to park in a certain spot in the school car park as it is where DC and I meet his friends every morning.
He ignored me and parked somewhere else. Then me and DC got out of the car and I said "come on, let's walk up to the grass and meet Eric and Jamie!" DH did not follow us and stayed sitting in the car. He got out when we walked into school and came with us but as soon as DC was in school he went marching off ahead. We were going to breakfast together- our first time just us in months actually- and he was giving me nothing more than "mmhmm" and eye rolls so I asked him what was wrong. He said "I won't be told where to park. I know how to drive and where I'm going thanks. I don't need to be belittled and snapped at." I asked him where I had snapped and belittled him when all I did was point and say, perfectly neutrally, "look, park in there, that's where I normally park." He claimed that is not what I said and he was made to feel ridiculous.
All day long he was just unpleasant to me. Not in front of the DC but when my mum came to visit I asked him if he'd like a cup of tea as I was making one and he looked at me, flatly stated "nope" and immediately put his headphones on. I was embarrassed for how he was treating me in front of my mum and said to try and inject some humour "oh, stop being such a grump!" He replied, "maybe you shouldn't be such a bitch." Me and my mum were totally shocked and neither of us have ever known him to be like that.
Later on when I did DC's birthday cake, I asked him to turn the lights out and he just said "why?" I said "because I am bringing in the cake with the candles for DC" and he just stared at me as if he was trying to work out what on Earth it had to do with him.
He sulked off upstairs and I had just about had it. I went up and said to him that he's being vile and I consider that kind of behaviour toward me to be abusive. Basically punishing me because his male pride got so hurt because I suggested a parking space! And no, you don't get it to mope about upstairs when your child is excitedly waiting to play with everyone and his new toys, so pull your damn self together and get downstairs for your son! And don't you dare give him the same horrible attitude you're giving me! Neither of us deserve it but he definitely doesn't at all!
He was perfectly lovely to DC, but kept giving me absolute evils.
And then later when I was talking to oldest DC about injuries that can happen to feet due to his having stepped on a drawing pin, I recalled to him the time I stood on a nail. DH, who wasn't even part of the chat, chimed in with "Ah, there you go. We're back on Mum. Conversation is now all about Mum." DC said "what are you on about?" and laughed, but I felt totally shit because actually, I never make anything about me and he knows it, he's told me so many times that I should be more assertive about sharing my opinions and experiences!
Seriously, I was so taken aback by his sulking and nastiness all day long. We've been together a decade and I've never known him be such a twat. I mean that- never.
Today he's being frosty and complaining of a terrible headache and joint pain and is quite scandalised that I don't give a shit at all. Normally I'd make him a drink and bring him some painkillers as he would for me if I was ill, but I'm so bothered by his nastiness. I told him he was a bastard to me yesterday and he said, "um...what?!"
Wtf!!