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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sex on TV

69 replies

IcyBlonde15 · 11/01/2022 11:44

I was inspired to write this after seeing a few comments on the Molly Mae thread. A friend of my sister a few years back appeared on a well known TV show and had sex on TV. She regretted it as she got a lot of hate on social media etc and her family were horrified. (She’s not famous btw, she was picked by one of the lads on the show) However, she signed a form agreeing to be filmed having sex. she told my sister they “took advantage of her because she was drunk” My sister and me have argued about it because, while I didn’t think she deserved hate over it I also think that some actions will always have consequences, but no one is allowed to say that or they are “slut shaming.” Two other examples that come to mind is when Zara Holland lost her miss GB title because she had sex on TV. She argued that she would stand up for women if she was them and that it was wrong for her title to be removed. Also Kady Mcadermott was upset a few years back because parents petitioned against her doing the Xmas lights switch on in her hometown because she had sex on TV. I personally agree with that one, if you want to be famous for doing something “adult” fair enough but that isn’t appropriate for kids. AIBU to think that if you make the choice to have sex on TV you must then face negative consequences?

OP posts:
IcyBlonde15 · 11/01/2022 11:50

Would like to clarify that in no way do I mean to be slut shaming by writing this, just that actions have consequences and just interested on opinions

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Xmassprout · 11/01/2022 11:51

I don't think there should be any consequences for women having sex on TV.

Why are we implying to our children that sex is dirty or wrong?

MorningStarling · 11/01/2022 11:54

It depends. The actual act of having sex on film or television (real rather than simulated) shouldn't bring shame in itself. Nine Songs for example, the actors involved should be applauded for their roles, the sex was integral to the film. Shortbus wasn't to my taste but again it was a "brave" film.

But... someone going on Big Brother and having sex, or for that matter appearing on Naked Attraction, is making a statement about what sort of person they are. It's not the sex or nudity that is the issue, it's the exhibitionism that people find uncomfortable.

To draw a parallel, think of a nudist beach. Lots of people are just relaxing naked, doing normal "beach" stuff. No problem. A few perverts are shagging in the dunes or openly masturbating. That's a problem. It's not the fact they are naked, it's their actions that are the clue as to what kind of person they are.

It's the same with having sex on TV. Everyone knows people have sex, most adults either have sex regularly, have had sex regularly in the past, or wish they could have sex regularly. But to do it on television suggests their view of sex and intimacy is not "normal" as the majority would understand it.

People who are different get abuse from the majority for any and every reason possible, it's nothing unusual.

FKATondelayo · 11/01/2022 11:54

what about men who have sex on TV? Are they OK?

DropYourSword · 11/01/2022 11:58

Only if you’re female, apparently.

DysmalRadius · 11/01/2022 12:05

Also Kady Mcadermott was upset a few years back because parents petitioned against her doing the Xmas lights switch on in her hometown because she had sex on TV. I personally agree with that one, if you want to be famous for doing something “adult” fair enough but that isn’t appropriate for kids.

But presumably kids wouldn't have watched it and so wouldn't know that she had done it, so I don't see why that would be a cause for concern for any local parents.

jay55 · 11/01/2022 12:21

Presumably if any of the kids looked up who she was, having sex on tv would be one of the top results.

Craig Chalmers who did the Joseph reality show, was fired from a panto when they found out he made porn. Not the same but an example of a man being fired for having sex on screen.

IcyBlonde15 · 11/01/2022 13:22

The examples I’ve included are all women, but men who have had sex on TV would be exactly the same for me. For example, if Gaz from geordie shore was switching on Xmas lights I wouldn’t take my kids. But Kady McDermott felt this was unfair.

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IcyBlonde15 · 11/01/2022 13:24

DysmalRadius they would probably ask who she was. Or older children could look her up and easily see. Or young people could look up to her and think if they want to be famous and have opportunities like her they should behave in such a way. Again, not saying it’s wrong but I don’t think it’s something for impressionable young teens

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IcyBlonde15 · 11/01/2022 13:26

Xmassprout it’s not teaching them that sex is wrong, everyone does it but it’s a different matter doing it in public, in front of people, or on TV is different. My mum didn’t teach me sex was dirty or wrong but she also wouldn’t agree with doing it on National TV

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IcyBlonde15 · 11/01/2022 13:31

Also “Blippi” came under fire for graphic content videos involving him defecating over someone, and admitted he regretted it. This shocks me as someone my kids absolutely loved watching! I wouldn’t stop my kids watching the channel but as he’s famous for something child friendly it did shock me !

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BrutusMcDogface · 11/01/2022 13:33

Sex on tv? What bloody programme is that happening on? I’m assuming you don’t mean porn? Do people actually have sex on reality tv? Wow.

MysweetAudrina · 11/01/2022 13:34

Didn't do Kim Kardashian any harm.

ToykotoLosAngeles · 11/01/2022 13:36

@BrutusMcDogface

Sex on tv? What bloody programme is that happening on? I’m assuming you don’t mean porn? Do people actually have sex on reality tv? Wow.
Love Island! And sex acts on Big Brother back in the day.
girlmom21 · 11/01/2022 13:40

@IcyBlonde15

Also “Blippi” came under fire for graphic content videos involving him defecating over someone, and admitted he regretted it. This shocks me as someone my kids absolutely loved watching! I wouldn’t stop my kids watching the channel but as he’s famous for something child friendly it did shock me !
I'm confused as to why it'd stop you taking your kids to see them switching on Christmas lights but you'd allow your children to continue watching them.

Children won't remember who switched on the Christmas lights if it's not someone they 'know'.

IcyBlonde15 · 11/01/2022 13:41

MysweetAudrina a lot of young girls in my generation wanted to be just like her though. From making home made sex tapes to getting surgery!

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IcyBlonde15 · 11/01/2022 13:46

girlmom21 I think it’s because the graphic video isn’t what Blippi is known for he’s famous for his kids videos, so they are unlikely to question it as to them he’s just “Blippi”. But children are unlikely to know who a love island/Geordie shore star is and young kids will ask and older kids can look it up for themselves. If Kady McDermott later had a tv career that was child friendly then kids wouldn’t ask as they would know her from ceebeebies or whatever, but because her career is very adult orientated I don’t think it’s appropriate for a child friendly event

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Cas112 · 11/01/2022 13:49

I think you being dramatic and you are slightly 'slut shaming' your saying you wouldn't take your children to a light switch on because they had sex on tv, why? Your children are hardly going to know? And if they ask what they are famous for you could just say being on a reality tv show. Your children will one day grow up knowing and learning people do have sex on tv. It happens, the people that do this made there decision whether they come to regret it or not but they don't need people on there high horse 'threatening not to go to a light switch on' because of it. The reason you won't take your children is because your judgmental and looking down on them people and you clearly think your better than people who do those things.

AutumnAlmanack · 11/01/2022 13:53

People HAVE SEX on TV?? I honestly never knew that - you certainly live and learn, but just WHY?

girlmom21 · 11/01/2022 13:56

@IcyBlonde15

girlmom21 I think it’s because the graphic video isn’t what Blippi is known for he’s famous for his kids videos, so they are unlikely to question it as to them he’s just “Blippi”. But children are unlikely to know who a love island/Geordie shore star is and young kids will ask and older kids can look it up for themselves. If Kady McDermott later had a tv career that was child friendly then kids wouldn’t ask as they would know her from ceebeebies or whatever, but because her career is very adult orientated I don’t think it’s appropriate for a child friendly event
If your kid asks you say "they were on tv". I just googled Kady McDermott and none of the results are about her having sex on tv
IcyBlonde15 · 11/01/2022 13:59

Cas112 I didn’t actually say I wouldn’t take them I just didn’t think she was the most suitable person for the event and at the time she was upset because she disagreed with the reason why and that parents were upset by it. I most certainly do not think I am better than people who do those things, but I do think people who have done it have had it negatively impact them and so I wouldn’t want my kids influenced by it and would hesitate to explain to my kids what tv show she was from However, if someone who had sex on TV was at an adult event, such as a book launch or whatever I would definitely go if it was someone I liked

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CoastalWave · 11/01/2022 14:03

I think it's grim to have sex on TV. Whatever the circumstances. Sad.

IcyBlonde15 · 11/01/2022 14:06

Also there are certain parts of it I find concerning. It’s all well and good saying it’s their body their choice but the girl my sister knew maintains that she was pressured into in drunk and her family tried very hard to stop it being aired afterwards but weren’t able to and the whole thing badly effected her mental health. I’m not sure how much of that is true or just regret but it’s concerning to me because perhaps there is an element of exploitation , especially when a lot of alcohol is involved

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User135644 · 11/01/2022 14:08

@BrutusMcDogface

Sex on tv? What bloody programme is that happening on? I’m assuming you don’t mean porn? Do people actually have sex on reality tv? Wow.
What show is there not sex on TV these days? You can't watch anything these days without multiple loud sex scenes an episode.
girlmom21 · 11/01/2022 14:08

Was she drunk when she signed the contract?

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