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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sex on TV

69 replies

IcyBlonde15 · 11/01/2022 11:44

I was inspired to write this after seeing a few comments on the Molly Mae thread. A friend of my sister a few years back appeared on a well known TV show and had sex on TV. She regretted it as she got a lot of hate on social media etc and her family were horrified. (She’s not famous btw, she was picked by one of the lads on the show) However, she signed a form agreeing to be filmed having sex. she told my sister they “took advantage of her because she was drunk” My sister and me have argued about it because, while I didn’t think she deserved hate over it I also think that some actions will always have consequences, but no one is allowed to say that or they are “slut shaming.” Two other examples that come to mind is when Zara Holland lost her miss GB title because she had sex on TV. She argued that she would stand up for women if she was them and that it was wrong for her title to be removed. Also Kady Mcadermott was upset a few years back because parents petitioned against her doing the Xmas lights switch on in her hometown because she had sex on TV. I personally agree with that one, if you want to be famous for doing something “adult” fair enough but that isn’t appropriate for kids. AIBU to think that if you make the choice to have sex on TV you must then face negative consequences?

OP posts:
Lollypop701 · 11/01/2022 14:12

The real question to me is , why aren’t the men who were involved also ‘suffering’ as a result!

IcyBlonde15 · 11/01/2022 14:12

girlmom21 yes very drunk apparently. And had to show passport etc. I just don’t understand how that is the case if true because how could it be proper consent if she was that inebriated. She almost quit uni because of the whole thing.

OP posts:
User1isnotavailable · 11/01/2022 14:13

Love Island is pretty grim. People go on, have sex (many seem to) then famous and end up with tv careers, become 'influencers', open cardboard boxes, some earn lots. It's a way of becoming famous without any particular talent, it works and some love that type of tv.

BlueRoseInBloom · 11/01/2022 14:14

You need less shitty reality TV in your life.

IcyBlonde15 · 11/01/2022 14:15

Lollypop701 Eamon Holmes gave Gaz from Geordie shore a grilling on this morning once and he just kind of shrugged. So it’s definitely frowned upon for men too but I agree men don’t seem to get the vitriol women do

OP posts:
Graphista · 11/01/2022 14:16

But you ARE slut shaming - and you've not mentioned ONE man in that entire op! Who were the women having sex WITH?!

I do think it needs to be carefully considered by participants but then generally speaking I don't think it should be on tv at all it serves no purpose whatsoever to the participants or the general public. It merely gains advertising revenue which is not a good enough reason.

But own your own misogyny for starters

In terms of who your children - especially young children - watch on tv, streaming or even YouTube - you're the parent you control what and who they see! That's always a parents responsibility and entirely possible to control.

IcyBlonde15 · 11/01/2022 14:18

Graphista I’ve named several men on the thread

OP posts:
MyCatEatsPrawnCrackers · 11/01/2022 14:21

@Xmassprout

I don't think there should be any consequences for women having sex on TV.

Why are we implying to our children that sex is dirty or wrong?

Sex isn't dirty or wrong. Wanking and shitting aren't dirty or wrong but that doesn't mean it should be shown on TV.
strawberrymilk7 · 11/01/2022 14:39

Having sex on TV is does have consequences and they are generally bad ones! For both men and women.

goawaystormy · 11/01/2022 15:47

Why are we implying to our children that sex is dirty or wrong?

This. All the people you've mentioned (Molly-Mae, Kady McDermott, Zara Holland) weren't having graphic sex on tv. They were having sex for themselves, under covers (honestly all you say was sheets moving or the bed shaking) and producers chose to put it on tv. Yes they knew they signed up for a TV show where anything they did could be put on tv, but it's not like they were thinking 'ill specifically do this on tv'. None of it was exhibitionist. And none of them are actually famous for having sex on tv, their careers were launched by love island (where they happened to have sex on tv among many other things) and they're famous for being influencers (of fashion, make up, whatever, I don't actually follow it).

But i do think there's a lot of pearl clutching around sex. Adult having consensual sex with other adults isn't dirty or shameful, and unlike if you had sex on a nude beach where it could take people by surprise, people know what love islands about and can choose not to watch it if the moving sheets offend them.

Also very sexist how you've only covered women in your post

ChargingBuck · 11/01/2022 16:01

AIBU to think that if you make the choice to have sex on TV you must then face negative consequences?

YABU.
These women didn't have sex by themselves, yet you seem oblivious to the fact that men were involved, & don't even mention the men as targets for opprobrium.

I think the whole thing's tacky AF, & feel distinctly prudish about it.
But your OP, despite your repeated caveat about not slut-shaming ... only singles out the women.
That's not a problem with sex - it's a problem with sexism.

ChargingBuck · 11/01/2022 16:05

The reason you won't take your children is because your judgmental and looking down on them people and you clearly think your better than people who do those things.

But - people who decline to have sex live on TV ARE better than those who do. It's a revolting display of exhibitionism & ego, & does society no favours.

I simply reserve the right to look down on the men who perform this way as well as the women ...

Gilead · 11/01/2022 16:05

Who dug up Mary Whitehouse?

ChargingBuck · 11/01/2022 16:07

None of it was exhibitionist.

Grin Grin Grin

ChargingBuck · 11/01/2022 16:09

@Gilead

Who dug up Mary Whitehouse?
That'll be me, @Gilead. A ghastly reanimated corpse, which is still infinitely more attractive than the prospect of seeing performative sex on tv.
tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 11/01/2022 16:13

@Xmassprout

I don't think there should be any consequences for women having sex on TV.

Why are we implying to our children that sex is dirty or wrong?

This.

Also, where are the same kind of consequences for the guy? The term "slut shaming" itself is telling in how the massive double standard still exists.

Also it's pretty F@#£ing laughable the parents act all outraged at this young lady regarding switching on Christmas lights when at the primary school I work in most Y5 kids watch love island with their parents knowledge.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 11/01/2022 16:17

For the record I wouldn't have sex on tv and I'm pretty sure nobody would want to watch that Grin and although I really hope my DD wants to do that as a career choice I very hard not to judge those who do. I probably judge more the society that celebrates this whilst slut shaming the young women involved. As long as pedant to watch trash like LI it will continue.

It makes me feel sad, mostly.

girlmom21 · 11/01/2022 16:28

@tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz

For the record I wouldn't have sex on tv and I'm pretty sure nobody would want to watch that Grin and although I really hope my DD wants to do that as a career choice I very hard not to judge those who do. I probably judge more the society that celebrates this whilst slut shaming the young women involved. As long as pedant to watch trash like LI it will continue.

It makes me feel sad, mostly.

I'm assuming you mean you don't want your daughter to choose to do that as a career Grin
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 11/01/2022 16:31

Years ago some people could have been naive enough to shag on tv and not realise the repercussions but not after so many decades of reality tv. The sad thing is that whilst many have their life’s blighted by such behaviour lots of young people consider it a risk worth taking when they see financial successes like Molly Mae etc.

Notwithittoday · 11/01/2022 16:48

Yup I think there’s consequences for being indiscreet. People who are dealing with children or set up as role models to young people should be behaving with good morals. I wouldn’t employ the likes of Kerry Katona or Danielle Lloyd for anything and I wouldn’t be best impressed if they turned up on CBeebies doing the bedtime hour and would probably switch off. However I’m sure they’re quite happy with their onlyfans accounts. It’s horses for courses isn’t it?

StarlightLady · 11/01/2022 17:23

Nobody should be asked to sign a contract to do anything when drunk.

As to not wanting someone to switch on Christmas lights because they once had sex on TV in the past, l find that an odd one.

LavenderAskew · 11/01/2022 17:42

I'm not sure that you really did mention men, least not until prompted. I assume Molly Mae was having sex with a man? (My assumption is based on the fact it was on Love Island, which I believe has only feature heterosexual pairings.) Kady McaDermott I don't know but I'm guessing she also had sex with a man.

You didn't name, or even mentioned either man in your OP. So that really is inbuilt misogyny.

Out of interest did either of them suffer for thier TV "performance? I don't know who any of them are (I'm well out of the loop with celebrities) but if either man is a influencer or a presenter or famous for any reason does their having had sex on TV get mentioned much? Also, if it is it mentioned positively or negatively?

junglejane66 · 11/01/2022 17:51

I had sex on the TV back in the 1990's, it was a Toshiba 32", I fell off and did my ankle in

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 11/01/2022 17:55

girlmom ha! Yes definitely. Unfortunate typo there Grin

ToykotoLosAngeles · 11/01/2022 17:58

@LavenderAskew

I'm not sure that you really did mention men, least not until prompted. I assume Molly Mae was having sex with a man? (My assumption is based on the fact it was on Love Island, which I believe has only feature heterosexual pairings.) Kady McaDermott I don't know but I'm guessing she also had sex with a man.

You didn't name, or even mentioned either man in your OP. So that really is inbuilt misogyny.

Out of interest did either of them suffer for thier TV "performance? I don't know who any of them are (I'm well out of the loop with celebrities) but if either man is a influencer or a presenter or famous for any reason does their having had sex on TV get mentioned much? Also, if it is it mentioned positively or negatively?

Molly Mae had sex with Tommy Fury, Tyson Fury's brother who was already a pro boxer so it's not really the same. He's probably more mentioned due to his family name and being her boyfriend than his Love Island stint.