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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sex on TV

69 replies

IcyBlonde15 · 11/01/2022 11:44

I was inspired to write this after seeing a few comments on the Molly Mae thread. A friend of my sister a few years back appeared on a well known TV show and had sex on TV. She regretted it as she got a lot of hate on social media etc and her family were horrified. (She’s not famous btw, she was picked by one of the lads on the show) However, she signed a form agreeing to be filmed having sex. she told my sister they “took advantage of her because she was drunk” My sister and me have argued about it because, while I didn’t think she deserved hate over it I also think that some actions will always have consequences, but no one is allowed to say that or they are “slut shaming.” Two other examples that come to mind is when Zara Holland lost her miss GB title because she had sex on TV. She argued that she would stand up for women if she was them and that it was wrong for her title to be removed. Also Kady Mcadermott was upset a few years back because parents petitioned against her doing the Xmas lights switch on in her hometown because she had sex on TV. I personally agree with that one, if you want to be famous for doing something “adult” fair enough but that isn’t appropriate for kids. AIBU to think that if you make the choice to have sex on TV you must then face negative consequences?

OP posts:
IcyBlonde15 · 11/01/2022 17:59

LavenderAskew they would probably say they “suffered” for example Zara Holland would say she suffered by having her Miss GB title removed for it as she felt that this was unreasonable. The reason her crown was taken away is because she was representing the country and a role model for young people so when she had sex on TV they removed her title. The girl my sister knew suffered and it destroyed her mental health. Men have been challenged about their antics on TV and they just seem to shrug but don’t get the same treatment as women do, no. Also, the examples i mentioned in the OP we’re about two women who felt it was wrong that they weren’t allowed to be/do something because they had sex on TV. But I think there would be similar repercussions for men in terms of career opportunities. For example if a male ex geordie shore cast mate decided he wanted to become a primary school teacher his past on TV may make that difficult

OP posts:
LondonKitKat · 11/01/2022 18:05

If it’s on tv and you don’t like it, don’t watch it. But perhaps a few more conversations with kids about sex, about consent, about knowing when to say no to what they don’t want but that they shouldn’t be ashamed by what they do want would help them be less affected by the porn they will inevitably be exposed to. Perhaps some of the examples raised here provide good ways to introduce those conversations.

Fidgetty · 11/01/2022 18:05

People actually have sex on TV?! Blush I haven't watch reality tv for years but I thought it was just fumbling under the covers , not actual sex? People are crass as fuck these days. I don't know any of the people you named above so can't comment on if they should lose jobs but they should have some bloody self respect! Gross.

Gilead · 11/01/2022 18:05

Funny because footballers seem to be role models and yet they can continue to play, or pop stars can reanimate their careers for unwise decisions. But heaven forfend our children are exposed to these women. 🤨

llanwrst2 · 11/01/2022 18:07

There does seem to be double standards.

What I also think is setting a bad example are the number of sex scenes in films and tv where strangers have sex but no mention of condoms.

ToykotoLosAngeles · 11/01/2022 18:11

@Gilead

Funny because footballers seem to be role models and yet they can continue to play, or pop stars can reanimate their careers for unwise decisions. But heaven forfend our children are exposed to these women. 🤨
Which footballers have had sex on TV, or indeed been on a reality show during their playing careers?
TempName01 · 11/01/2022 18:53

@Fidgetty

People actually have sex on TV?! Blush I haven't watch reality tv for years but I thought it was just fumbling under the covers , not actual sex? People are crass as fuck these days. I don't know any of the people you named above so can't comment on if they should lose jobs but they should have some bloody self respect! Gross.
It only shows fumbling under the covers on shows like Love Island
73kittycat73 · 11/01/2022 19:27

Haven't RTFT but I voted YABU because where are the names of the men that they slept with? Why can they get away with it and not the females?

Gilead · 11/01/2022 23:48

Which footballers have had sex on TV, or indeed been on a reality show during their playing careers?
I was rather thinking of those that have hit partners, raped or been racist.

blubbabubba · 11/01/2022 23:55

Let's not use kids as an excuse to shame.

Kids are not going to be looking up celebs names after they do Xmas lights.

Even if they do, sex on tv will not be the top result, they all have had hundreds of articles written about them since being on TV

Presumably if they're old enough to know what sex is, they'll know their parents did it too

SammyScrounge · 12/01/2022 01:05

@Cas112

I think you being dramatic and you are slightly 'slut shaming' your saying you wouldn't take your children to a light switch on because they had sex on tv, why? Your children are hardly going to know? And if they ask what they are famous for you could just say being on a reality tv show. Your children will one day grow up knowing and learning people do have sex on tv. It happens, the people that do this made there decision whether they come to regret it or not but they don't need people on there high horse 'threatening not to go to a light switch on' because of it. The reason you won't take your children is because your judgmental and looking down on them people and you clearly think your better than people who do those things.
Of course she's better!
ToykotoLosAngeles · 12/01/2022 11:20

@Gilead

Which footballers have had sex on TV, or indeed been on a reality show during their playing careers? I was rather thinking of those that have hit partners, raped or been racist.
The most recent example is Mendy of Man City, accused of rape. He's was in prison since August until his recent release on bail. Ryan Giggs was dropped as Wales manager after allegations of domestic abuse. Reece Thompson beat up his girlfriend, went to prison and has only been able to play as an amateur since.

If anything we should be talking about Hollywood actors like Johnny Depp. Why pick on football?

Gilead · 12/01/2022 12:44

It was what came into my head, but you have a valid point. Although Depp has I believe been dropped from the HP franchise.
A footballer a few years ago ( Sheffield) was allowed back, until a huge protest erupted. A certain pop star who went to prison has been on various programmes. There is something awful in that women are far more likely to be held to standards than men and this sort of thread perpetuates that.

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 12/01/2022 13:20

@Xmassprout

I don't think there should be any consequences for women having sex on TV.

Why are we implying to our children that sex is dirty or wrong?

I think it's more like the implications of having sex on national tv might have unintended consequences. Positive and negative.
Bluesarestillblue · 12/01/2022 13:31

Sex on the TV. Everybody’s at it. The mind gets dirty, as you get closer to thirty

FluffyBooBoo · 12/01/2022 13:35

Surely a lot of these blame should land squarely on the feet of the producers/editors. They don't have to show that intimate moments - but it gets viewers.

After all it's a one hour show that has a ton of footage to choose from. And the people involved are being filmed 24/7. The producers actively want them to drop their guard and forget the cameras are there. These young people could be seen as being exploited for ratings and advertising revenue. Some of them do well on the back of it, but most get forgotten.

ToykotoLosAngeles · 12/01/2022 14:37

@Gilead

It was what came into my head, but you have a valid point. Although Depp has I believe been dropped from the HP franchise. A footballer a few years ago ( Sheffield) was allowed back, until a huge protest erupted. A certain pop star who went to prison has been on various programmes. There is something awful in that women are far more likely to be held to standards than men and this sort of thread perpetuates that.
Oh I definitely agree! I just think that actually footballers who are also criminals (general personal scandals aside e.g. Wayne Rooney) are punished here.

Whereas... www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9041099/The-savage-truth-Dior-wont-drop-wife-beater-Johnny-Depp.html

There is also a petition nearing 1m signatures to bring him back to Pirates.

Gilead · 12/01/2022 14:45

There is also a petition nearing 1m signatures to bring him back to Pirates.
Ugh!

BrutusMcDogface · 12/01/2022 14:45

@User135644

I’m not talking about performed sex scenes. I didn’t realise that people were having actual SEX on love island 😳

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