Can’t meet boyfriend’s DS

[DaffodilPot]

I’ve name changed in case my boyfriend’s ex-wife is on here.

I’ve been with BF for just over two years. We’ve discussed the future and decided to get married next year.

I took my time in introducing him to my DC and he didn’t meet them until just before Christmas. We’re now slowly integrating him into our lives.

BF asked ex-wife about introducing me to their DD. She said ok, but that she would like to meet me first. We suggested a couple of dates in the coming month which she couldn’t do so we asked her when would be good. She came back with a date in mid-May.

AIBU to think she is being deliberately obstructive? She and my BF had been divorced for 2 years before I met him and she’s been aware of my existence for at least a year. We’ve been purposefully slow in involving the children but would really like to move forward in introducing them now.

AIBU - ex-wife is within her right to refuse to meet me until May

AINBU - she’s taking the mickey a bit.

@errnerrcallnernnernnern

She’s not being reasonable so your fiancé now needs to proceed based on his own judgement.

If you wait until May, it signals to her that she holds the upper hand.

Who cares who holds the “upper hand”. It’s not some kind of mud wrestle. The important thing is to develop some harmony going forward. If the two women start fighting over who gets “the upper hand” when children are being dragged into it then neither of them is fit to be a parent.