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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have ‘gone off’ working?

426 replies

haribofiend · 10/01/2022 23:26

Okay so I realise I am unreasonable!

But does anyone else feel the same?

I’m not a lazy person, have always worked v.hard, too hard at times, if anything!

But lately (since Covid / lockdown, but maybe it’s just a coincidence) I’m so fed up of it. I’m not in the wrong job - I like my work well enough… but not as much as I’d like leisure time Blush I find I’m wistfully looking forward to retirement, and I’m only 34!!

I’m a bit shocked at myself tbh. Is it just me who’s had this change of heart lately and needs a big old boot up the bum?

OP posts:
Wallywobbles · 11/01/2022 05:45

I think I just worked to pay the bills in my 30s.

I became a force at 40 and I finally plucked up the courage and had enough energy to start a business. Which failed.

At 50 I've just completed a masters and I'm starting to freelance.

snackodactyl · 11/01/2022 05:55

Yes, I totally feel this. And then mountains of guilt as I am in a very comfortable place work wise and people have got it much much harder.

I’m trying to take an approach similar to LasttraintoLondon my world has become a lot smaller thanks to the pandemic and I’m making the most/best of it.

Greyrootszerohoots · 11/01/2022 06:45

Same age and same feelings. I think there is a collective sense of burnout going on.

LowlandLucky · 11/01/2022 06:45

The problem is we have been sold a lie for the last few decades, as we were told my needed a job to complete us, that we would be a failure if we didn't have a fabulous career. It was all utter claptrap, if you live to work then you must be mad, we should all be working to live.

Echoesandsilence · 11/01/2022 06:46

I'm the same.

I'm 32 and work in the finance sector. I got promoted to this role and I didnt want the promotion but didnt know how to say no. Overtime is expected but why does it have to be every day of the year? It used to be just in busy times of year which made it more acceptable.

I told them I want to leave for a quieter department. They told me if I stay I can have another promotion, increase in salary, bonus, change of duties etc. Confused All I really want though is to leave and not be tied to the laptop and the unreasonable expectations of the clients.

TheMamaYo · 11/01/2022 06:47

There’s a good article about this. It’s very much a post Covid problem for many.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.amp.html

KissTheHostGoodbye · 11/01/2022 06:47

I'm the same! I thought it was the job so I changed it but hate this one also. I was furloughed 2020 then made redundant so had most of the year off and I blame this. I just do not want to work Blush
I have my bank account, mortgage and H all not happy with this thought though so on I plod Sad

Dozer · 11/01/2022 06:49

Agree covid is a factor. Things feel same-y and dull. Trying to do new things for some interest!

stuckdownahole · 11/01/2022 06:50

I work in an operational role mostly - it's OK because I'm actually getting things done and seeing the results.

When I have to do office stuff, meetings etc. I want to kill myself because I can see how much time, particularly my time, other people are willing to waste. A consultant wanting me to produce the five year plan for the department which no-one will read. Needy colleagues wanting me to respond immediately to every email they send, when the deadline for the project is next month.

I remember a teacher friend saying that he never produced any reports or paperwork for internal consumption until he had been asked at least three times, and at least one of the requests had to be from a senior manager. It weeded out the colleagues who were creating busywork to make themselves look important.

I couldn't work full time in a corporate environment now.

ViceLikeBlip · 11/01/2022 06:51

Have another baby. The more kids I have at home, the more I enjoy going out to work!!

FWIW wfh is hideous. It's all the bad/boring bits of work with none of the fun colleague interactions. Like I said, I love going out to work, but I absolutely hate WFH.

malificent7 · 11/01/2022 06:53

If we all won the lottery i am sure we would quit without a backwards glance.

EricScrantona · 11/01/2022 06:55

Also 34! WFH is massively disengaging but I think it's more than that. I lost my job over covid and it knocked me. Got another but it was shit, I lost all my passion and drive. Now I have another and it looks like a great company but I just think about retirement or planning what on earth I want to do with my life but I have no idea what that is!

I think there is a collective consciousness and loads of people feel this way!

Nomoreporridge872 · 11/01/2022 06:56

Interesting article here. I’ve seen a few commenting that working from home is demotivating and isolating. www.rsph.org.uk/about-us/news/survey-reveals-the-mental-and-physical-health-impacts-of-home-working-during-covid-19.html

AD3000 · 11/01/2022 06:59

I'm the same but in my 50s. Nice job and colleagues but just can't be arsed with it and have a struggle to get up and go in every single day.
Pre-covid I was hardworking and engaged now I spend my time plotting how I can retire early (reality is I can't Sad).

Yesthatscorrect · 11/01/2022 06:59

I feel like this in my early 40s. I do only work three days a week so have plenty of leisure time but could quite happily not work again. I'm just tired of the boring parts of it although I love and thrive on the customer contact.

I'm getting a pensions forecast this week as I've been working since my teens so hopefully early retirement is an option. We have a plan to pay the mortgage off early so I'm hoping I might only have around another 13 years of work. If we can do it then I wouldn't mind going full time for the last few years.

Make a plan to finish earlier. I know it isn't an option for everyone but you can make active choices not to let lifestyle creep affect your plans.

Frannibananni · 11/01/2022 06:59

I think we all feel like this, it’s attributed to the uncertainty we all felt in the last couple of years. Lots of press articles calling it the great resignation movement.

Parsley1234 · 11/01/2022 07:00

Yes completely agree with this the general malaise of working from home vs being in the office with the most dull people who ever drew a breath. I have done no work for months and am still looking great my modus operandi of filing involves deleting emails without reading them after I came back from holiday facing 1200 so I deleted them thinking anything important I will be asked if I had read it nope nothing this has been going on 6 mths now. My friend who is a business grad said this is a tactic Harvard use who knew lol. Sad thing is I had 3 lovely businesses before the pandemic I was always working I loved it now working for government fuck that shit I have an exit strategy though which I hope to execute this year

Namechangeforthis88 · 11/01/2022 07:03

Thanks for the link @TheMamaYo. That totally resonated here. Especially the bit about needing a sense of progress. Too often I'm not getting that from work and I slump. There were a few weeks when a couple of colleagues were off and we had big deadlines and I came alive and enjoyed my job.

Blueflowersinthesnow · 11/01/2022 07:05

Similar age and feeling very similar! Only difference is I have never enjoyed my job that much, but it was (more than) bearable prior to lockdown but now it feels like it is sucking the life out of me.

I used to care so much more about my work and take pride in it.

I'm looking to make a change and get something local and not WFH because I can't continue like this for 30 years.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 11/01/2022 07:07

36 here and feeling exactly the same. I've done probably 5 hours of productive actual work since going back on the 4th - and lots of dilly-dallying that is basically nothing, just enough so I'm "active" online.

It's so unlike me I thought maybe I was going through early menopause.

Glisil · 11/01/2022 07:09

I feel the same. I absolutely love my job but I just can’t be bothered anymore. The days go so fast, they all blur into one, and I feel like my life is flashing before my eyes. Before I know it I’ll be 60 and I would have just spent 30 years repeating the same day over and over again.
I’m saving all my spare money and going travelling in a few years hopefully when the pandemic has settled down. I just want to live and not waste my life working all the time.

DipYourPenisInMyBeaker · 11/01/2022 07:11

And me!

Retiring isn’t how I feel, I just can’t be arsed with working and some crappy people. However, think they’re crappy as we are all in the same boat. Said to DH the other day that I just want to quit and have some time out! I feel a little lost and not quite sure what to do with my life.

PilatesPeach · 11/01/2022 07:12

I had this around the same age - 15 years ago - I WAS in the wrong job doing it because that is what I had trained to do and had a mortgage. Now I have a different job and love what I do - it is in an area which closed during lockdown - fitness - and being back since May is fabulous - I love it even on a bad day I feel lucky to do what I do but def felt this way around your age and it was not covid. I resented the long hours, the pettiness, the presenteeism, all the BS, I felt like I was a square peg in a round hole.

Hibye23289 · 11/01/2022 07:12

Haha Im the same I only work part time due to having children so I am very lucky. I think I am abit of a princess,taking the easy route wanting to enjoy life. Id like the money of a good career but do not want the hours that goes with it. Work is just work

Hibye23289 · 11/01/2022 07:12

Oh and im 32

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