AIBU to have ‘gone off’ working?

[haribofiend]

Okay so I realise I am unreasonable!

But does anyone else feel the same?

I’m not a lazy person, have always worked v.hard, too hard at times, if anything!

But lately (since Covid / lockdown, but maybe it’s just a coincidence) I’m so fed up of it. I’m not in the wrong job - I like my work well enough… but not as much as I’d like leisure time I find I’m wistfully looking forward to retirement, and I’m only 34!!

I’m a bit shocked at myself tbh. Is it just me who’s had this change of heart lately and needs a big old boot up the bum?

Yes, since I was 32, now 42.

Again, good hard worker, care too much, burn out quick, always seem to be in jobs where I'm pushing water uphill. Be thankful you like your job, many of us don't, I've been in tears today, but are trapped by the salary.

I want to wander the hills all day with a flask, some sandwiches and my dog. If only there was a job with those requirements.

David Graebar, brilliant book, called 'Bullshit Jobs'

@SingingWaffleDoggy

I always feel like this after annual leave. I love my job but still think I can’t really be bothered to go to work. So you can just imagine how I’m feeling on maternity leave! I think a lot of workplaces have felt like they’re just muddling through until things go back to normal, but it’s just not going back to normal so the novelty of this new way of working is wearing off. Perhaps you need a new role to shake things up a bit?

Like you, my DD has been on maternity leave for the last nine months and went back to work this week. She's obviously going to be WFH a lot of the time and, for her, the people at work were a big part of what she enjoyed about her job and I think she's finding it grim. I do think that your point about going back to work after annual leave is so true too. I'm older, retired, and deeply grateful not to be working.

This is me! I'm 34 too. They offered me redundancy and I jumped at it even though my job was on paper everything I'd wanted. I'm hoping to find a different career path to get my enthusiasm back for the next, erm, 30 years

I never really got into working 😂

We work way too much. Our lives are totally out of whack. Lockdown has just helped more people realise it. I imagine working from home is probably removing many of the positives for you - could you move to a co-working space, or go PT and do some voluntary work to get out and about, change companies or change careers?? I don’t think a change of career will make you want to work long hours again, but it may be there’s another path that would have more meaning.

So glad I found this thread! Been in a similar state of apathy for a long time now and I actually really enjoy my job, it's intellectually stimulating and exactly what I wanted to do, I set my own hours etc etc but I still cannot motivate myself to do it! I have the odd burst of enthusiasm but other than that it's all very 'meh'.

One of the things to take away from this thread is that there are plenty of people who actually like what they do and still feel this way.

Finland have reduced the working week to 4 days and the working day to 3pm - i wish we could campaign for something similar here. It would make people more productive to have a compressed work day which still leaves enough time to spend with family or hobbies etc.

@hortsy

Yes, since I was 32, now 42.

Again, good hard worker, care too much, burn out quick, always seem to be in jobs where I'm pushing water uphill. Be thankful you like your job, many of us don't, I've been in tears today, but are trapped by the salary.

I'm so sorry to hear this! Hope you're taking care of yourself this evening

I felt like this in my mid-30s. Was in a corporate job and decided to retrain in fitness. Have worked in that for past 18 years and still love it. Am lucky to be able to work for myself so whilst the hours can be unsociable and long, I know it’s for my business. The constant opening and closing of business over past 2 years has been hard and occasionally felt ‘can I be bothered to build it all up again?’ but once I’ve got going it’s been ok.

Despite enjoying work I understand the meh feelings as Covid has sucked the joy out of so many of the non-work fun things.

I expect to be working in some capacity beyond retirement age (if I can).

Joining the club! I have a well paid role but a lot of it is around client service and winning new work, which I have zero motivation to do via zoom from my living room.

I spent the entire day scrolling the internet, then panic work 5pm - 7pm. The whole thing just feels pointless and the team structure means each piece of work has like 10 layers of review and takes ages.

I’ve bit the bullet and got a new job. Unsure yet if it will help or if I’moving my problems to a new place…

Also not the best time to move as we’re thinking of TTC but we’ll wait a year or so. I couldn’t even bear the thought of another 9 months in my current job.

I’m 30 and I spend a lot of time refreshing my pension in the hope it’s magically increased…..

Although I usually m believe that one person's heaven is another's hell etc, I've pretty much concluded that 99% of office/corporate jobs are objectively boring as fuck.

I think it's more whether you can find one that isn't completely soul destroying and allows a balance where the salary/benefits justify the mundane nature. None of my office worker mates are as passionate as my mate who runs a successful music shop/music tuition business and my mate who owns a decent gym.

I spent the day in loungewear and slippers today and could NOT be arsed to do ANYTHING.

I'm much more focussed and lively when I wear proper clothes, with proper shoes.

I think it's more whether you can find one that isn't completely soul destroying and allows a balance where the salary/benefits justify the mundane nature.

Yep. I mean, I didn't dream of working in financial services as a kid, but currently I have a 3 mile commute, a family-friendly boss I like and I can work 21 hours a week around nursery hours. I have neither the financial or emotional bandwidth to start my own business.

Also mid 30s and really identify. My friend died in the summer and it really made me think about how short life is and how much time I spend at my desk. I had about 3 months of just hating it. Wanting a new job/unpaid leave/maternity just to get out of it. I’m fine now and back to enjoying it, but I’m sticking to my hours, going to the gym at lunch, finishing earlier to spend more time with my kids etc. I think having a break at Christmas helped and just dialing down my commitment level. I’ll still do a great job and look after my teams and customers I just try to care slightly less and prioritize better.

there is a huge missing piece about the energy of getting your butt out the door, the stoical side of interacting with people we work and after work, and even the competitiveness of seeing others in action and you upping your game.

Nope. I think people have seen how bullshit office jobs are. They enjoy real life with their families, not bound to some exec whims and demand for a report/slide. Command their own time, cook a proper meal, be outdoors and not be at beck and call of someone/client/a screen.

I went back to the office, socialised with colleagues and even changed jobs. The meh and problems simply shift. Most people work for the money. Nobody wants to go back for the leaving drinks.

Let's not forget that WFH isn't the magic solution, either - if you have a bullshit job. It's not uncommon for bullshit jobs to have become even more bullshit during the pandemic - now you're supposed to sit through endless Zoom meetings, with reprimands and penalties if you turn your camera off, despite the fact that you are achieving nothing which is of any use to anyone. Half the time you're only there so your managers can be sure that you are not allocating 'their' time, for which they are paying, to anything else.

Of course, you are NBU to have gone off working! I don't know many people at all who do not go through spells of feeling that way. Part of the human condition, I suppose. However, it would BU to chuck your job and wait for the angels to meet all your needs. Hang in there, and this will almost certainly pass...or some other employment opportunity which excites you may come open.

This is exactly how I feel. Not sure it's an age thing. I recently turned 46 and feel like my life is slipping away but have no motivation to do anything but watch the telly or tiktok, sleep and eat! I've been off work with long covid, since October and am due to return to work next week. I really don't want to go back and I'm dreading it. I used to enjoy my job but haven't for a few years now, due to piss poor management, massive staff shortages and feeling over worked, under payed, under valued and completely burnt out. I work in the NHS and it's been really tough since covid struck. Morale was already at an all time low and we've been super busy on every shift throughout the pandemic. Many colleagues have left, putting more strain on the ones still there and pushing morale even further. We've had to close the unit a number of times due to staff shortages. Work is no fun when you're working 13+ hours a shift with no break and no let up and knowing you have the same again the following day. It's a catch 22 situation and I feel trapped. I really want to leave but don't know what else I could do.

OMG I have found my tribe! 5 years ago I got the opportunity to move back into the field that I was qualified for and experienced in. However, despite being educated to Masters level, with numerous other relevant qualifications, I have been passed over every time (by my manager who doesn't have a degree) for someone half my age, with a fraction of the experience and qualifications. Well I will be 60 next year but I think I still have a lot to offer?

I CBA either. I've got into the habit of staying in bed, logging onto Teams and just clicking often enough to show that I am available. However, my managers (as above) and the one with one A level, have got it into their heads that I not available enough so must be shirking. The reality is that my work output exceeds anyone else at my level in the team!!

I think the WFH issue has been compounded by useless manager who can't deal with the fact they can't see you there at your desk. I've had plenty of unproductive days at my desk same as WFH. In my case it's become pick, pick, pick, eg why didn't you put your out of office on even though you were only out for a couple of hours, you logged in half an hour to this meeting (yeah, I had connection problems!!), I don't like how you worded your out of office message... Or when I (must have?) looked bored in a meeting (well it was about stats and well boring!), team manager lit on me with a question - clearly believing, like a teacher in school, that I hadn't been listeninh - but boring as it was, I had in fact been listening and was able to respond, much to her disappointment lol!

I am so sick of being micro-managed via Teams that I am taking some time out of work. It's messing with my mind. I feel 'controlled' by the machine - that what was intended to be a communication tool is being used as a surveillance device!! I was accused in a Teams meeting of not having been online for weeks - but I pointed out, I wad online with them when they made the accusation!!

I have had enough - I don't want to do this anymore! Half of what I do is essentially people bitching about each other. I am fed up with the corporate scenario, with all these pointless managers competing with each other to see who can be the biggest ass-kisser, while wanting to stab each other in the back!! With WFH, yes, I do feel a bit isolated but on the plus side, I am away from all the posturing, politicing, showing off, faux sentiments...

I CBA with work, omg how I wish I could get a redundancy package, I would literally kill for that lol - and now I CBA with home either. If I could go to bed with my Blissy silk pillowcase, my Chunky Couture blanket and my phone, I'd happily do that. Can't though, with family and my much loved pet slowly dying before my eyes. Work, I f*ckin hate you!!!!

@thefavourite

It's a thing! It's got a name! Languishing.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.amp.html

I 100% have this. I just can't be fagged with ANYTHING. You are NOT alone (& I'm an old timer at 41!).

100% this Thank you @thefavourite

And I’m 41 and most of my colleagues and friends feel the same.

I don't think it's a new phenomenon. Many years ago I felt the same - late 20's with a successful but stressful career. Recall reading a quote about 'working hard through life to get to the top of the ladder only find it is propped against the wrong wall'. It resonated, and so I planned an escape route. It is possible. I think the pandemic has brought into focus what many people eventually sense - a discontent with corporate values and measures of success. A life whittled away with pointless tasks, meetings and paperwork.

I cant say i have gone off work as i never liked it in the 1st place! Like money though so.....

'*The question is ...

What are my coworkers actually doing with their days to make me look so good?' @D0lphine*

I conceived my baby during work hours. 💅🏻😆

We're both wfh and take breaks whenever we want.

life whittled away with pointless tasks, meetings and paperwork definitely