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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Drinking and driving

62 replies

Bruce123 · 09/01/2022 06:36

Last night I went with my husband and his Mum to a concert. Between 6.30 and 9pm he drank 5 glasses of wine . I had one and a cup of tea. We came in his car and I offered to drive home. Back at the car my husband got into the driving seat and argued he was safe to drive home. It took me and my MIL’s combined efforts to get him to move over and let me drive. Including me walking away to get the train at one point. He then sulked for the whole journey home. AIBU? Was he safe to drive?

OP posts:
Twiglets1 · 09/01/2022 06:39

Of course he wasn’t that is obviously

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 09/01/2022 06:39

He was being a that. Unfortunately alcohol has that effect on some people. (Or accentuates idiocy already there).

If they were 250 ml glasses, he could still be over the limit now...

HollysBush · 09/01/2022 06:40

No

BasiliskStare · 09/01/2022 06:42

Good for you and MIL - how anyone one can think it is Ok to drive over the limit is just astonishing to me . 5 glasses of wine in 2 and half hours - no of course he was not fit to drive - he must know that.

Footprintsinthegrass · 09/01/2022 06:43

He was being a duck. Good for you for standing your ground OP

Original poster
Bruce123 · 09/01/2022 06:44

They were 125ml glasses

OP posts:
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 09/01/2022 06:48

Look at morning after.org... its a calculator so you can pit in how much you've drunk and it says when your clear of alcohol.

Fallagain · 09/01/2022 06:49

Of course he wasn’t. He had 7.5 units of alcohol. The very rough average is it takes an hour to process each unit of alcohol. He is always a dick or is this a one off or does it just happens when he drinks?

AlDanvers · 09/01/2022 06:50

Why are you questioning this?

Are you saying you are unsure wether someone should drive after 5 glasses of wine?

If you drive you should know, that's really not OM.

AlDanvers · 09/01/2022 06:50

OK not OM

girlmom21 · 09/01/2022 06:50

He clearly wasn't safe to drive. Is he normally like this?
Why did he even drive in the first place if he wanted a drink?

historygeek · 09/01/2022 06:52

Even with 125ml glasses he was still loads over the limit.
And if he was happy to drive his wife and mother I would also guess that he drink drives regularly.

IcedCoffeeMilkshake · 09/01/2022 06:55

quite frankly if he is not mortified and embarrassed and questioning himself this monring I would be seriously reconsidering my relationship. A selfish, arse who s willing to put others in exceptional danger due to hs ego, then sulks like a toddler.

Sexy-not.

IcedCoffeeMilkshake · 09/01/2022 07:00

Well according the morning after calculator a pp mentioned he should not drive for 9 hours after finishing drinking his 5 glasses.

morning-after.org.uk/drink-drive-calculator/

what a wanker.

Redglitter · 09/01/2022 07:03

Ofcourse he's not fit to.drive. Do you honestly even for a second think he was

Original poster
Bruce123 · 09/01/2022 07:06

This is the first time he has become belligerent after I’ve offered to drive. Before this he has willingly accepted me driving him home.

OP posts:
AndAnotherNewOne · 09/01/2022 07:10

@IcedCoffeeMilkshake

Well according the morning after calculator a pp mentioned he should not drive for 9 hours after finishing drinking his 5 glasses.

morning-after.org.uk/drink-drive-calculator/

what a wanker.

That's odd because you lose one unit every hour so he'll have lost 3 units by 9pm. Still not safe but for a lot less time than that calculation.

It doesn't help when websites are inaccurate.

Staryflight445 · 09/01/2022 07:10

This would be the end of my marriage if my husband ever did this.
Absolutely appalling of him op. Drink drivers kill people.

Original poster
Bruce123 · 09/01/2022 07:14

That was his argument, yes, that he was fit to drive…hence posting on here and reflecting on my reaction. Just in case there is a remote possibility that my insistence on driving could be seen as “unreasonable”. I don’t think it was but AIBU exists for this reason, right?

OP posts:
GrendelsGrandma · 09/01/2022 07:15

Obviously yanbu but I would have had the conversation about who would drive with him at the point that he wanted a second glass of wine.

I'd expect a fulsome apology this morning.

Show him this. Any alcohol at all makes you a worse driver. 20-50mg makes you three times more likely to die on the road, well below the legal limit of 80mg.
www.brake.org.uk/get-involved/take-action/mybrake/knowledge-centre/drink-driving

GoodnightGrandma · 09/01/2022 07:17

No he wasn’t fit to drive. I don’t drive after any alcohol as I’ve witnessed the aftermath many times in A&E.

merrymelodies · 09/01/2022 07:21

Surely it's best to decide which of you will be be designated driver before going out?

Original poster
Bruce123 · 09/01/2022 07:26

Yes it is, but I didn’t realise there would be alcohol and a free bar there….so the conversation never happened until back at the car and I’d already made the decision earlier to stay sober so we all weren’t left with no options.

OP posts:
AlDanvers · 09/01/2022 08:16

@Bruce123

Yes it is, but I didn’t realise there would be alcohol and a free bar there….so the conversation never happened until back at the car and I’d already made the decision earlier to stay sober so we all weren’t left with no options.
But you saw him drinking?

Cant believe he just drank 5 glasses without even checking you were OK driving. Or that you didn't mention it when he was reaching for the 2nd/3rd/4th glass.

gobbledygoook · 09/01/2022 08:35

What time did you leave? Was there a gap between last drink / leaving of several hours?

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