To miss the simplicity of the 90s/early 2000s

[Wazza89]

I was discussing with a friend yesterday how much simpler life was was in the 90s/early 2000s. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely enjoy the perks of Netflix, Messenger, etc. But things were just more laid back.

When my younger sister turned eighteen, her and her friends got their lips done. They all looked almost identical. 😂 I remember when any form of cosmetic surgery was only reserved for celebrities. Not that it was right, just that there was less pressure and money in regards to our appearance.

My aunt told me how her daughter-in-law spends over £200 on her children’s birthday parties - the cake, the balloon arrangements, and the costumes. I don’t live in an affluent area at all (it was actually one of the poorest areas in the UK a few years ago) and the school DS goes to has a lot of funding for disadvantaged kids. Yet most the parents I see (and their kids) wear Nike or The North Face. Loads of mums get their hair and nails done regularly and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that (I’m a bit jealous, to be honest 😂), but I’m worried about the insane amount of
pressure young girls are under to keep up appearances.

One of the mums was talking about the cake she had specially made for her DS and the lavish birthday party he was going to have. I actually felt guilty that my DS had a Colin the Caterpillar cake complete with balloons and a banner from Poundland. It was acceptable when I was a child but now it seems increasingly uncommon.

Sometimes I wander whether I’m stuck in the past and I’m worried DS will be left out by his peers. Anyone else?

I’m not sure things are hugely better for women now. Maybe overt sexism is less acceptable and I think maternity laws have improved. On the other hand, I don’t think the internet of porn has been good for women and I’m not sure economics has been kind to women en masse. It’s true that more women are in the workforce but then thanks to house prices rises and austerity, this for many will be because the decision is out of our hands. I think there’s a strong chance that despite a few sexist jokes and some ladette stuff, I’d still definitely prefer to be a woman in the 90s. Not the 70s though.

@ShiftingSands21 I just don't think I'd have the career I have today in the 1990s, with my husband being in the military life was still extremely draconian for military wives back then- military life has always been (and remains) several steps behind mainstream society. Not to mention also the flexibility I have in my role now.

Also having just watched Impeachment, I'm certainly not convinced the 90s were better than today for the treatment of women- I'm sure Monica Lewinsky would attest to that!

I agree. It's all awful. Everything has been financialised and everyone is so bloody greedy and joyless.

@user5656555 that’s fair enough and good for you personally but I’m not sure that wider trends support that things are on average better for women. Inequality has risen a lot so I suppose it stands to reason that some women are in a MUCH better position than they might have been in the 90s because some people are doing extremely well just now as wealth concentrates - but that benefit doesn’t trickle down. I’m prepared to be proven wrong by some stats, but I’m struggling to find a clear picture.

Its not always the case to do this.
In fact where we lived it wd be seen as trying too hard / ostentatious/ over consumerised/ and more that a little.embarassing actually.
Hold on to your values.
Its not cool to over consume.
Also.what are you teaching yr dc if you / one does this.. certainly not whats important nor crewtive thinking
If they are used to.having it all.it would.possibly not help them to manage in future is they on a tight budget? Also not buying into this is actually freeing them from all this expectation so Id see it as very positive parenting !
We have a dd who no way wd lips done etc. So do not worry not all young folk buy into it .in fact they dont like it .

Also if yiu dont buy into it re parties .. some parents may be most grateful .. it helps them get off the hook too and frees them!

not a lot to add but I'd definitely agree that you are forced to tech and social media now-recent example I was taking a SM break for my mental/emotional health then I was contacted late at night by WhatsApp by the practice coordinator who was WFH insisting that I write a biography now for the SM linked website and when I said I didn't know what to write right now (I was very fragile newly separated/single parenting) she insisted again and told me to look at Facebook for the existing biographies even though I was having a SM break. not to mention being forced to go in for the accompanying photos which were then photoshopped on our day off- the practice thought this was all totally acceptable in 2021

Totally. And people were more interesting then with actual real interests rather than vacuous ones. I'm in a wealthy area. All the women talk about is entrance exams and clothes. Can't even talk about holidays anymore. So fucking dull. Everyone seems to have dumbed down to the sort of chat that used to be reserved to have with your hairdresser. I don't actually think it's because people are less intelligent but rather we have been indoctrinated into a placid manner of behaviour where you can't have a controversial opinion about anything (I don't mean racist or sexist by the way).

@nomoneytree

Totally. And people were more interesting then with actual real interests rather than vacuous ones. I'm in a wealthy area. All the women talk about is entrance exams and clothes. Can't even talk about holidays anymore. So fucking dull. Everyone seems to have dumbed down to the sort of chat that used to be reserved to have with your hairdresser. I don't actually think it's because people are less intelligent but rather we have been indoctrinated into a placid manner of behaviour where you can't have a controversial opinion about anything (I don't mean racist or sexist by the way).

Conversely, though, it's much easier nowadays to find people who share any obscure interests you may have than it was in the 90s when the internet was in its infancy. However, I think social media makes it a lot easier for the average Joe to posture and appear to be superficially more interesting then they are.

Omg totally agree!!!

But I try to be hopeful.

I live in a working class but increasingly trendy area of London and the young parents around me seem very sensible. Environmentally friendly, nice, non consumerist ... that kind if thing.

I hope the social media hype will die down in years to come. Otherwise I feel sorry for this generation.

My DC is only 2.5 but I'm already super worried about things like this :(

Thanks for posting!!

That’s horrendous @CheesecakeAddict.

I think it’s a class thing. I live in a naive middle class London outer area. No one has ridiculous cakes or balloon displays, frowned on as not classy/environmentally wasteful to be honest,

I could easily afford a home made cake but I've always had shop bought ones. My children like them and I've never felt judged. It's a mixed bag with friends between shop bought and (££) home made.
There's still many of us out there who have never had cosmetic procedures or even nails done. There needn't be pressure to conform.

I was born in 1994 so I don't massively remember the 90s, but, I do remember things being different to how they are now, it seems like things have changed so rapidly, when I was younger, social media was bebo or Facebook and you just followed your friends or acquaintances, now you can follow any Tom dick and Harry, any celebrity etc so you're getting all this info from people you don't even know. When I was 13 I started watching YouTube tutorials of makeup, and that's how I learned makeup, but the tutorials were people sat in their bedroom, filming with their laptop camera, and everything seemed more real, nowadays it's all big productions and seems fake. Also back then, no one cared about your social media 'aesthetic' ffs haha, and I'm not immune to it, i but into it all as well but I'm quite conflicted with it all tbh, I can't help but think we would all be happier going back to more simplicity but at the same time when I try to live more simply, I feel like I'm missing out!

@ImmediatelyNo

I know which night out I prefer

People have to be on all the time now.

This is so true, I feel like I have to look nice allllll the time, I did a zoom call with some friends, I looked rank with my hair scraped back with conditioner in it, wearing joggers etc but who cares, I was only chatting to some friends, then I get a notification that one of my friends has tagged me in their Insta story and it's a screenshot of our zoom chat and me looking like shit 🤦🏼‍♀️ I actually miss chatting to friends on a landline that was attached to the wall

Oh also, I actually miss going to blockbuster with my dad and him spending an hour picking a couple movies haha, then I'd persuade him to get us popcorn too! That's a lot better than scrolling through Netflix for an hour!

"They were talking about a girl at school getting "jumped" and then watched a video of it on her phone. I genuinely didn't know what to think, and that sort of thing would have had a huge impact on me at school. Imagine your bully filming their attack on you."

On the plus side they are more likely to be found and charged. We forget about all of the crimes that went unpunished years ago. I agree that we do have the choice to opt out now. We didn't have the choice to opt out of living with extreme sexism or racism, it was a matter of luck if your manager agreed with you and if your face fitted, or he fancied you, so took notice. We also couldn't opt out of benefit rules that didn't allow you to leave an abusive relationship, or for some funding couldn't access education as a SAHM. It was 2003 when marital rape became illegal, but it took years for the CPS to take it seriously. If life was rosy and you were in a supportive family/marriage it was a better time. But otherwise there were pros and cons. I do miss the pubs, though.

And people still listened to cassette tapes and watched videos in the early 2000. Even though we had DVDs and CDs.
And going to Blockbusters to rent a video tape would seem ancient to young people now! Loads of people made a living out of video rental shops.

My memories of 80s/90s birthday parties:

-the one where the local pool was hired for the whole afternoon with the massive inflatable crocodile
-the rollerdisco one
-going to one of the first UK pools with a wave machine

• a "PE Party" with all the fun gym stuff, but no PE teachers

These were brilliant, but all paid for by other kids' parents.

I only ever had the old school parties with silly games, (home-made) fancy dress, stuffing your face on Spar own-brand Cherryade, pink wafers and Fox's Party Rings. These were also brilliant.

I also remember being given a lift to someone's party and 4 of us in the back winding the windows down and shrieking singing Like A Prayer at full volume, on repeat, for the entire journey. A glorious childhood memory that cost the parent driving nothing (except possibly her sanity).

Kids just remember fun and high spirits, which don't have to cost loads or be filmed.

Casual racism was still commonplace in the 90s. People were called racist names, it was almost accepted as part of life.
I remember in the early 90s , the BNP handing out leaflets, canvassing in the high street.
Couldn’t imagine that today, thankfully.

@Hearwego

Casual racism was still commonplace in the 90s. People were called racist names, it was almost accepted as part of life. I remember in the early 90s , the BNP handing out leaflets, canvassing in the high street. Couldn’t imagine that today, thankfully.

I do too because it scared me but I still find society more racist now. It's probably not a good gauge as I lived in an area the BNP were very active in the 90s...but now I find the racism dressed up as anti racism to be really sinister and less honest and I can't call it out because they are posing as anti racist.

That said, I have certainly been called racist terms in the last five years, that hasn't gone away.

For women, I think things are worse, maybe because of the internet and porn.

Oh and drugs...not sure there's a way to assess this but my perception is that more drug takers now are looking to get aggressive and find a fight, whereas previously, it was more about getting happy.

I had a long chat about this with two stoned ladies at a bus stop in Islington in summer. 😂

And the worst of everything, is the overcrowding/increasing population.

Oh and drugs...not sure there's a way to assess this but my perception is that more drug takers now are looking to get aggressive and find a fight, whereas previously, it was more about getting happy.

Maybe in the 60s, but not in the 90s. Violence and assaults were much more common.