To miss the simplicity of the 90s/early 2000s

[Wazza89]

I was discussing with a friend yesterday how much simpler life was was in the 90s/early 2000s. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely enjoy the perks of Netflix, Messenger, etc. But things were just more laid back.

When my younger sister turned eighteen, her and her friends got their lips done. They all looked almost identical. 😂 I remember when any form of cosmetic surgery was only reserved for celebrities. Not that it was right, just that there was less pressure and money in regards to our appearance.

My aunt told me how her daughter-in-law spends over £200 on her children’s birthday parties - the cake, the balloon arrangements, and the costumes. I don’t live in an affluent area at all (it was actually one of the poorest areas in the UK a few years ago) and the school DS goes to has a lot of funding for disadvantaged kids. Yet most the parents I see (and their kids) wear Nike or The North Face. Loads of mums get their hair and nails done regularly and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that (I’m a bit jealous, to be honest 😂), but I’m worried about the insane amount of
pressure young girls are under to keep up appearances.

One of the mums was talking about the cake she had specially made for her DS and the lavish birthday party he was going to have. I actually felt guilty that my DS had a Colin the Caterpillar cake complete with balloons and a banner from Poundland. It was acceptable when I was a child but now it seems increasingly uncommon.

Sometimes I wander whether I’m stuck in the past and I’m worried DS will be left out by his peers. Anyone else?

The last couple of decades don't have a style that marks it out from the others

I remember everyone saying that about the 90s at the time. I think you need distance from an era to really understand its style - if you see what I mean?

YANBU

And I have to say- I LOVE a Colin the caterpillar cake!

I miss the 90’s so much. Not living through it (especially as an ethnic minority it was shit) but the simplicity of life.
So worried about the impact of the Internet and social media on my kids. God know what it will be like in 10’years.
Prob that episode of Black Mirror where your entire standing as a human being is dependent on your social media profile and rating. Like mortgages/jobs/houses you can rent/being able to use transport!

I had my kids 20 years apart. The difference is massive. DD's birthday's in the 90s were all at home. fizzy pop, pass the parcel, sausage rolls and party ring affairs. DS were all party events with laid on food, ie soft play parties, science centre experiences or laser quest type things. I miss the cherryade and iced gems.

Looking back I realise now how crap the 90s/early 00s were for women - we’d essentially been sold a bastardised version of feminism that involved showing how “empowered” and “liberated” we were by embracing ladette culture, showing we could hold our own with the boys, etc etc. No-one wanted to be an uptight blue stocking square, so it was all Wonderbras (“Hello boys!”) and get-em-out-for-the-lads in FHM magazine. I look back and cringe.

That said, I sometime listen to old episodes of The Chris Moyles Show (which I bloody loved and still find funny, much as I know he’s not everyone’s cup of tea) and listening to the current affairs in the context of the current Brexit/Covid/divided society shitshow does make me long for a time when a bit of politician sleaze and some Wags misbehaving was as bad as it got.

@zingally

Life was simpler/better because you were younger! In the 90s/2000s, I was 12-18. Lived at home with sensible caring parents, all food, laundry, cleaning, bills taken care of for me. Plenty of friends, enjoyed school. Of course life seemed good!!

Now, in the 2020s, we've dealt with a global pandemic, I've lost jobs, one parent died suddenly, one is aging, there's bills to pay and grown-up responsibilities that are zero fun.

Just the way it works I'm afraid!

Not for a lot of us

As I said, 20s were hard....I was so bloody tired all the time working, studying, commuting.

But the actual culture was a nicer one to live in, for me.

Now my life is much easier but the background culture doesn't suit me at all and the advance of tech....just argh. I think this is a great period to live in if you are a tech lover.

Granny "Looking back I realise now how crap the 90s/early 00s were for women - we’d essentially been sold a bastardised version of feminism that involved showing how “empowered” and “liberated” we were by embracing ladette culture, showing we could hold our own with the boys, etc etc. No-one wanted to be an uptight blue stocking square, so it was all Wonderbras (“Hello boys!”) and get-em-out-for-the-lads in FHM magazine. I look back and cringe. "

Funny, I don't see it that way at all. No one had to be a ladette or a bimbo. Clubbing was a big thing and such a lovely thing, all inclusive.

Though I should add it to my list of why I was tired 😂

@TheBestofTimesTheWorstofTimes

I miss the humour. The young people I know in their 20s take everything so ruddy seriously. Watching The Office, wow they wouldnt be allowed now to say some of that stuff.

I was thinking about this the other day!

You didn’t have to do as much with your appearance to look ‘groomed’, none of the girls fake tanned or had fake eyelashes/nails. Maybe the celebrities but it wasn’t a look that was expected of you average girl on the street.

No social media, at least not in its current form. No smart phones.

The world didn’t feel as doomed as it does now, in fact it felt quite optimistic (if I remember rightly), particularly the late 90s. Things just felt more exciting.

Maybe I’m getting old.

I think some things are better now - hopefully less racism, homophobia, a more incisive society (I appreciate there’s still a way to go on all these things…) however life WAS simpler then. I went to secondary school in 1992 and we weren’t expected to look like anything other than 12 year old girls. The way girls look now shocks me and the pressure that social media puts on to always live the “perfect” life.
I watched Sliding Doors over Xmas and I commented to DH how Gwyneth Paltrow was considered such a hot babe yet by modern terms she’s so natural. In the party scene where she’s all dressed up she looks so… normal!!! The modern equivalent of that part (main female, romantic lead) would be all false eyelashes, perfect figure, long wavy hair. GP is a very pretty lady but nowadays she’d be the plain friend in a movie because of the standards in Hollywood.

*inclusive

I think the write-off comment about being nostalgic because you are getting older is incredibly ageist. Do women really suffer less sexism now than 20 or 30 years ago? I just can't see it! Why are teenagers getting boob jobs and lip fillers if so?

When my 90 year old mother talks about the things she appreciates from her youth in the 30s, 40s and 50s I listen to her and hear what she has to say. Sure, we don't have WW2 or smog in London (well not quite so bad) any more and women aren't tied to domestic roles if they don't want to be ... but it's hardly a bed of roses now.

We have more material things and most of us (not all by a long chalk) have warmth and comfort. It counts for a lot but the modern malaise of poor mental health, anxiety, addiction to the internet in the young, extinction of species, climate change caused by over-consumerism, landfill, insane house prices etc are all real concerns now that actually and honestly didn't afflict so many of us in living memory.

Just for a small example from my childhood - most families had 1 small dustbin, the metal type with a lid, that was emptied once a week. Now most families fill 2 large wheelie bins with rubbish and recycling. We didn't have loads of recycling 40 or more years ago because everything wasn't wrapped in plastic and cardboard. People washed their hands with a bar of soap and washed their clothes in powder that came in a cardboard box. And they just didn't buy or consume as much. Even well off middle class families like mine. Clothes were mended, toasters were mended, large appliances like washing machines were fixable, kitchens and bathrooms weren't replaced every 10 years.

@A580Hojas all excellent points. We have too much, everything is just TOO MUCH!

It does seem that children seem to have more "stuff" than ever and yet are (on average) more miserable than ever. And is it really surprising? I think we've forgotten what makes kids happy. When I look back on what made me happy as a kid it was never expensive things. It was lying in a park in the sunshine with friends texting Capital Radio to see if they'd read out our message (they did) or cheering on classmates at the school talent show. My partner often says he remembers his "best birthday ever" was a massive water balloon fight in the garden with his friends. It probably cost about a fiver.

That said 90s parenting was something else - my parents didn’t seem to worry about me catching a train to school and wandering through town to get there when I was 11. I was allowed to get the train into town on the weekends and hang out with friends all day when I was 12ish. Looking back they had no clue where I was

I also went to an under 18s club night when I was about 13 complete with low rise stone wash jeans and a cropped lace-up tank top and hair glitter! Ok I’m going down memory lane now

Teen in the 90’s, child of the 80’s. It was in general, such a happy, simple time. It’s like a dream life passed by

Anyone else remember these

*That said 90s parenting was something else - my parents didn’t seem to worry about me catching a train to school and wandering through town to get there when I was 11. I was allowed to get the train into town on the weekends and hang out with friends all day when I was 12ish. Looking back they had no clue where I was hmm

I also went to an under 18s club night when I was about 13 grin complete with low rise stone wash jeans and a cropped lace-up tank top and hair glitter! Ok I’m going down memory lane now grin*

I could have written this exact post! Except I had body glitter rather than hair glitter. This was the stuff that made me happy though - freedom, fun, friends.

We did seem to spend more time just pointlessly hanging out with friends; and less time doing structured activities, or extra curricular activities.

My best memories came from these days, swimming in rivers, buying lunch from Tesco’s and eating it in a field somewhere, making up cringey dance routines and later on the house parties!

Underage clubbing is a rite of passage! But does it still happen?

Underage clubbing is a rite of passage! But does it still happen?

I remember I had just turned 18 when clubs started getting serious about checking ID and looking out for fake IDs. I was so bloody grateful that I'd timed it perfectly! It must be difficult to sneak in now unless you've got a really convincing fake ID.

@EmmaH2022

Underage clubbing is a rite of passage! But does it still happen?

It must do surely? But all the teens I know are so emotionally mature and law abiding now! Not like us, swanning about trying to convince everyone we were 5 years older

I suspect this has been said already (haven't RTFT) but surely every generation looks back with nostalgic rose-tinted glasses at their childhood, as life and society both get ever more advanced/complicated. Unless you had a really miserable childhood, it stands out as a time of less worry, responsibility and complication for most people, so it's natural to yearn for it somewhat. But some things have changed for the better - we can now easily and quickly educate ourselves on all kinds of things in a matter of minutes; we can connect with family and friends in other countries so easily; we can understand other people's lives and experiences so much more readily.

But all the teens I know are so emotionally mature and law abiding now!

Sometimes I wonder if today's emotionally mature, law abiding teens will end up having midlife crises and end up in an Ibiza nightclub aged 50 doing drugs off someone's bum cheeks. For their sakes let's hope not.

We can’t go back, can we 😢

"But all the teens I know are so emotionally mature and law abiding now"

But we all pretended to be like that then