DH against me working

[PinkSo]

I've been wfh for the last 3 years, like many of us.

However, before this I worked for my DH's business.

I've had two miscarriages in the last two years. I've worked for him throughout this time, obviously I've had time off and he's been fully supportive in regards to this.

I applied for a job today which means working outside of the home. He wasn't happy. He has heard of lots of "parties" in this industry and doesn't want me to be a part of that.

It's a professional and well sought after job. Am I going crazy? I said I wouldn't continue with my application, however, I want to.

I agree that this is not a subject for argument. It is simply none of his business.

@PinkSo

I hope you apply for the job, I hope you get & accept the job.

A man that wants you at home 24/7 & working FOR him is a controlling man.

YOU WANT this for YOU! Do it, it's not his choice, it's yours & you're going to need to financially independent & able to stand on your own two feet when you wake up to how controlling he is.

He MAY not be the entire cause of you not having friend, but he will not have helped the situation one bit.

I'm very sorry about your miscarriages💐, but I would suggest you get contraception sorted because although you probably won't accept it just now, you really don't want to tie yourself to this man,for life, through a child.

I know all that's hard to hear right now, but one day, you'll look back on this thread & realise it's the truth.

I hope that day comes sooner, rather than later 💐

I find it strange that his objection would be parties as opposed to shift work or personal safety or many other issue that you could have working in law enforcement. What kind of role did you want to apply for? Police staff? I’ve been in the police 22 years… I’m not sure it’s quite as debauched as it once was.

[quote PinkSo]@NotTheGrinchAgain it's a job within law enforcement. Apparently he knows loads of people in the industry who cheat and engage in Debaucherous behaviour[/quote]
Fucking hell. He sounds ridiculous.

I have worked in that industry and yes a large percentage of people do cheat, colleagues shagging left right and centre. Sometimes even in the offices - think stationery cupboards or empty offices. Once at a work drinks thing in the office a couple actually DTD on my desk, I was told about it afterwards. It’s pretty grim.

However, there are also plenty of people who ignore that aspect of it and do not engage in those behaviours. Your DH would need to trust you to be one of those people

God, I read about so many awful, controlling, inadequate men on here and it’s so fucking depressing.

Apply for the job and reassess your relationship.
I once considered applying for a job with a company that was know for its parties and night out - DH encouraged me to apply because he thought I'd absolutely love it ( he'd worked with them in the past) . That's what a supportive partner does.

Fuck that.
Apply and I hope you get it.
He'll have to deal with it.

[quote PinkSo]@NotTheGrinchAgain it's a job within law enforcement. Apparently he knows loads of people in the industry who cheat and engage in Debaucherous behaviour[/quote]
Why does your husband associate with so many people who behave like this? There are lots of lovely police staff who are loyal spouses and great parents and friends - I wonder why he chooses to associate with the wankers. That’s a red flag in itself.

Then him trying to control you - red flat two.

Then him assuming that you will cheat if you work there - how insulting . Red flag three.

And you have no friends . Red flag number 4.

That’s enough for some bunting. 🚩🚩🚩🚩

I’d like to ask what your family think of him but I suspect I know the answer.

I agree with everyone who says don’t withdraw your application. If you don’t get this job, apply for another. And stop TTC - you need to SERIOUSLY reconsider your relationship.

In what other ways does he control you?

Yanbu. Apply.