To wonder how to cope with no sleep at all?

[Sleepdeprivedalready]

Or at least no quality sleep, maybe a couple of snatched hours in the very early hours of the morning.

I have a child who won’t sleep. It’s destroying me and I’m so angry and resentful because of it. The weird thing is I’m fine in the day but then I go to bed and am not able to sleep or relax and it turns me into this tense ball of rage that feels like I hate my kid and my life.

Weirdly I then often can’t sleep on the rare opportunity that presents itself.

How do people cope?

So much sympathy. I've been there. It's so hard to relax into sleep when you've got half an ear listening out for the next time the tiny terror darling angel wakes up. No real advice (I'm sure you've heard it all before) but it won't last forever...

😩😩 I keep thinking that … it can’t last forever, but when will it end!?

Is there someone else who can have the child for a night or 2? I suspect if you can get 1 good nights sleep things will feel better... it will hopefully set you in for a while longer of poor sleep and maybe give you the strength to change something that might help - but I doubt you can concentrate enough for any changes right now.

Have you posted in the sleep section for help getting said child to sleep?

Well I’ve raised two terrible sleepers to teen years now and now thanks to the bloody menopause I only get about 3/4 hours a night and often awake until 5am and then have to drag my sorry arse to work. Dead on my feet all the time

It would be great @LittleOwl153 but unfortunately there just isn’t anyone. I even emailed a night nanny agency in desperation a couple of weeks back but as I suspected it is way beyond our price range.

@Crikeycroc - I’m doing all the ‘right’ things but the awkward sod asleep on my lap now hasn’t read that they are the right things and stubbornly won’t let me sleep.

In all seriousness it’s a bit miserable. I feel like there is no real down time or rest.

That’s probably my next stop @giggly

I am where you are right now
My child is still young enough to be under health visitor services
So I spoke to them and we now are working with a sleep nurse none the less it's still not working and my child still wakes every night keeping the house up for hours and hours and I have 3 other children all small aswell so you have my full sympathy

It’s so miserable, isn’t it? I hate feeling like I do - like I hate / resent / have no patience with my own child, but I suppose there is a limit to anybodys patience.

You can’t cope with no sleep. It’s horrific.

I was v v routine based with DS - now 7 - always resettled him in cot, no co sleeping etc. it nearly broke me.

Co slept with 3.5 year old DD almost from the beginning and she is still frequently in our bed. DH just rotates out to her bed. I get a full night’s sleep so don’t give a toss. I never, ever thought I would be a co-sleeping parent 😂

It’s grim isn’t it. I fantasise about running away and leaving DH to it. That would be DH who locks himself away in the spare room at night as not to deal with the disturbed sleep.

I did Gina Ford with DS, got in sleep consultants, the works. He was actually a pretty good sleeper - and sleeps like a log now - he was a just a normal baby. Which is fking exhausting!!

As a long time insomniac, you do learn to deal with it eventually but three broken nights for me and I drop my marbles. I am on prescription meds (amitriptyline and melatonin nightly with zopiclone as a prn) to ensure I do get sleep.
I now cope remarkably well on less than ideal sleep for one or two nights as I have the zopiclone and I can reassure myself that after two broken nights I will take one of them and be ok.
When I am back in the UK and less broke than I am currently, I am going to invest in one of these devices:
www.amazon.com/Dodow-Device-300-000-Falling-Asleep/dp/B00ZFOB4BK?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

With a child in the mix, I'd be begging people to have them for a night or during the day as and when they could and be taking something like OTC Nytol in those times. How old is your child? Would something like being in your bed with you help? Do anything that might help for the sake of your sanity.
Good luck and hold onto the thought they will grow out of it.

Co sleeping is great if it works, but if you co sleep and you have a child who thrashes around all night, still wakes and cries constantly, stands up in the bed then slams himself down on you - it doesn’t really get you a very restless night.

I am co sleeping with mine as I have a cot refuser and I FUCKING HATE IT!

He windmills his arms all night, he grabs my face and hair, he stands up, he buries himself right into me then gets angry because he’s too hot

Currently sat downstairs holding him. He sleeps this way but obviously I don’t.

Yes that’s horrific @Sleepdeprivedalready

I know co sleeping is not always the magic bullet 😩

How big is your bed? How old is he?

I know everyone says it, but co-sleeping was the only thing that worked for me with DD. Currently waiting for DS (10 weeks) to be asleep enough to transfer him to his cot (he's a much more amenable baby so far). I feel your pain.

How old is your child and how frequently are they waking?

When you say "our price range" does that mean you are not a single parent? Share the sleeplessness with your partner or you'll get ill! At least do shifts for a while to recover a bit.

13 months and wakes constantly. Definitely every couple of hours.

I wish I could love co sleeping but I hate it. I long for my bed back.

Also key to successful consleeping I think is booting your partner out 😂

I never got any sleep when it was me + DH snoring and hogging the bed + baby/toddler wedged between us

Remove the DH factor (I mean to another room/bed, not (necessarily) divorce 😂)and a king sized bed or larger makes it a lot easier

Yeah but the thing is, it doesn’t really make a difference that there’s two of you. Well, it does of course, but in terms of sleep deprivation, sleep deprived is sleep deprived. I don’t really feel any better for going to bed at 9 and sleeping until 1 and then being woken for “my” shift. A lot of the time it feels worse, actually.

Oh god look … some of you have not met DS

He thrashes. He punches. He kicks (all the fucking time) he grabs hair, he snorts and snuffles and he moves constantly.

I co sleep because I have to. But it doesn’t mean I sleep.

If he can’t climb out of the cot yet I would be inclined to put him in it, shut the door and turn off the sound on the baby monitor.

I was sucked in by all the guilt inducing attachment parenting rubbish that says they will be using heroin by 12 if you let them cry. I was angry when my baby woke repeatedly overnight. I resented how tired I was. I dreaded the nights. Once I got her sleeping through I was a new woman. I am convinced PND is often just extreme sleep deprivation.

@Sleepdeprivedalready

Yeah but the thing is, it doesn’t really make a difference that there’s two of you. Well, it does of course, but in terms of sleep deprivation, sleep deprived is sleep deprived. I don’t really feel any better for going to bed at 9 and sleeping until 1 and then being woken for “my” shift. A lot of the time it feels worse, actually.

Can't your DH take him every other night for a full night to give you a proper break? If he says he'd be tired the next day with no sleep, I'd not be too overwhelmed with sympathy tbh...

In theory, yes, in practice, whoever is still in bed is still woken by a yelling DC and inevitably goes to see if the one dealing with him is OK, and do they need any help and tbh the answer is often yes, so it does end up involving both of us.