Selling the family home- who gets what. Please help !

[Pinksparke]

Bob was with Sarah for 15 years . They have two children . They lived together in a big family home . Bob left when they split . The mortgage is in Bob’s name . Bob pays the mortgage .

Bob lives with his wife in their house with their son . Bob and wife pay the mortgage here . It is a financial struggle .

Sarah lives in the family home with Sarah and Bob’s children . Sarah is getting married and her new partner is moving in. Sarah’s partner is mortgage free ( he has a bungalow ) he will rent this to his son now that he is living in Bob and Sarah’s home .

Sarah wants half of the house when Bob sells it. Bob is happy to do this however Bob paid the deposit for the house from inheritance and is paying off £25k credit cards that Sarah and Bob racked up.

Should Bob still pay the mortgage when Sarah’s partner moves in?
Legally, does Bob have to wait until their youngest child is 18 before he can sell the family home ? Should Bob take off the deposit and half of credit card debit before he splits the profit from the house sale with Sarah ?
Legally does Bob have to give Sarah half ?

Bob pays the legal amount of child support and uniforms , shoes and extras . Kids stay with Bob 2 nights a week.

For clarification they were never married and house is solely in Bob’s name .

@CrimbleCrumble1

Bob should marry Bungalow Bill.

and live together in the house on the hill

@YourenutsmiLord

Can bob pay mortgage until DCs are passed vital school years then deduct this total amount from her half of money when house sold.

If Sarah won’t move into the bungalow with her new partner this is the best idea going forward. She and her DP can’t expect Bob to fund their lives

The world needs more Bobs.

All I will say in defensive of my son is that Sarah still doesn’t work and relies heavily on Bob to ‘cover ‘ things . Certain bills etc . Bob however is the one who always caves in so I can’t blame her for asking when Bob gives .

There is no awful situation and all parties get along - I am just concerned. That is all . Thanks for all of the support . I will make no further comment .

@Pinksparke

This is Bob’s mum. I am concerned for my son . No affair took place at all . The reason why the house wasn’t sold is that Sarah could never have afforded a home for the children which would have been more than a 2 bed flat and Bob would hate that for his children .

I believe everyone is entitled to move on . Bob is and so is Sarah but I believe if Bob doesn’t sell his house - Bob , his wife and new son will really struggle .

I agree . Bob has been far too generous .

@kittensinthekitchen

Butt out Bob's mum

They are in agreement. Why do you want to rock that?

I’ve found my new username

Also, why is Sarah moving the new man in while her children are in their exam years? I predict the children will shortly end up on Bob's doorstep, begging to be housed in bunk beds!

Moving a partner into the home who is capable of contributing to the household budget changes the dynamic. It is time for Sarah to pay housing. If Bob doesn’t want to force the children to move, perhaps a rental agreement with Sarah and the new husband could be made

I think that although its nice that Bob recognises the contribution that she made in bringing up the children, but perhaps now is the time for her to start paying some rent if she wants to continue to stay in the previous home, even more so if she is now thinking of bringing a new man to live in the house.

Has sarah ever worked - if children are in vital school years then I would have thought she might have had a chance by now, although understand she may have stayed home until they started school.

Legally Sarah probably isnt entitled to anything. Bob could be nice and offer her a lump sum that may contribute towards a deposit to a bigger home if the bungalow is too small, or for sarah and new man to buy a place together if he sold the bungalow. Maybe she would be wise to be put on the deeds in that one.

Bob sounds a decent bloke, but the proposal by Sarah is absolutely taking the piss. Legal advice time Bob.

Bob has been very nice here.
It needs sorting by legal teams. No marriage... I don't fancy Sarah's chances of getting much if anything.

Sarah clearly has a type💷

Both Sarah and Bob need legal advice.
Bob shouldn't leave his DC in a difficult position.
I think as Sarah is now getting married they should sell the house and split assets 50/50, Sarah should have got her name on deeds and mortgage, but morally if not legally I think Bob should behave as if they were married as they were together 15 years and have DC together.
Deposit and credit cards not relevant after all this time.

It’s it Bob’s house he should pay the mortgage as Sarah then won’t have a claim when the house is sold. He could rent the house to Sarah, but there may be legal difficulties after as it could be argued that as Sarah provided the childcare then she should have a claim to the house. The best thing to do would be for Bob to sell the house, but how is he going to provide accommodation for his children, would they live with him? I’m not sure it’s fair on sarah to have to pay 100% of the new accommodation costs for their children, maybe he could contribute 50% of the children’s portion of they rent somewhere (i.e. if the rent is £1000, he would contribute £250).

Sarah doesn't work and expects Bon and her new DP to keep her.
She's a CF, Bob needs to sell the house or charge rent.

Your Bob’s new missus aren’t you?

Oh bum. I opened the thread ages ago and forgot and only just commented. That’ll learn me.

If they not married Bob needs to get Sarah to move out of his house. Both sides need to get some advice.

If Bob has asked you for advice then tell him to go to a solicitor and get an idea of where he legally stands and where he would be standing now if they had been married. He can then discuss with his wife and make a decision.
If he's not asked you for advice then stop stirring and butt out.

Bob should sell the house, keep deposit + credit card debt, then split the remainder 50%.

ASAP!!!!

@MaeRainbow

Bob should sell the house, keep deposit + credit card debt, then split the remainder 50%.

ASAP!!!!

Thus is exactly what I was going to say. All debt paid off deposit given back and all costs of selling done then she can have a share of the profits. Its been really nice of him to allow them to live there that long.

@Ylfa

Bob should be more careful with his knob.

Why has he made even more children if he is struggling?

Why should Sarah have the financial capacity to have more children all because Bob is paying her mortgage. Sarah needs to get a grip of her own life

Bob needs a lawyer

I think Sarah is a very relieved woman.

@PearlD

I'd say that Sarah needs to book an appointment with a solicitor

I think that need is just a little bit more urgent for Bob, don't you?

Is Bob paying the mortgage out of the child support total? Or is he paying the mortgage on top of the full amount of child support due? Who pays the upkeep on the house? I think morally she is probably entitled to a share but I’d be advising Bob to get legal advice too to work through what is fair to both

It is hard as Bob’s children are in vital school years and Bob worries about the effect selling the house on them will have however currently Bob is living in a tiny house with his wife and baby and needs to think what effect this will have .

It sounds as though Bob is a decent guy, however, he really should have wrapped it until his children were past the vital school years and then started a new family when selling up would not be as disruptive for existing children.