Selling the family home- who gets what. Please help !

[Pinksparke]

Bob was with Sarah for 15 years . They have two children . They lived together in a big family home . Bob left when they split . The mortgage is in Bob’s name . Bob pays the mortgage .

Bob lives with his wife in their house with their son . Bob and wife pay the mortgage here . It is a financial struggle .

Sarah lives in the family home with Sarah and Bob’s children . Sarah is getting married and her new partner is moving in. Sarah’s partner is mortgage free ( he has a bungalow ) he will rent this to his son now that he is living in Bob and Sarah’s home .

Sarah wants half of the house when Bob sells it. Bob is happy to do this however Bob paid the deposit for the house from inheritance and is paying off £25k credit cards that Sarah and Bob racked up.

Should Bob still pay the mortgage when Sarah’s partner moves in?
Legally, does Bob have to wait until their youngest child is 18 before he can sell the family home ? Should Bob take off the deposit and half of credit card debit before he splits the profit from the house sale with Sarah ?
Legally does Bob have to give Sarah half ?

Bob pays the legal amount of child support and uniforms , shoes and extras . Kids stay with Bob 2 nights a week.

For clarification they were never married and house is solely in Bob’s name .

OP how much equity is there in The house Sarah lives in?

Bob might want to deal with this like they were married, at least with respect to property & debts. That would be the most generous settlement to Sarah, and he will know that he he can know he acted in good conscience.

If they had been married, then split at least those 2 items (property equity & debts) evenly regardless of who put in house deposit.

Could impose the asset-debt split at point of the Bob's departure from family home, but only if that doesn't make everything super complicated (which I imagine it does, observing (child-free!) friend who keeps updating a spreadsheet on what she thinks is 'fair' split of assets in her divorce). Meanwhile friend spends ££££ on mediators & lawyers & makes little progress towards Decree Absolut. Friend could have finalised her divorce 10 months ago without the constant juggling about small-value assets & debts that she & her stbxH have done.

Bob doesn't legally have to give Sarah anything I assume as they weren't married and she doesn't own the house.

It's good that he wants to but I don't think it's unreasonable for that not to be half given that he paid the deposit.

Could Sarah and new partner buy Bob out?

It does seem unfair that they are living there with no housing costs.

Why was the house just in Bob's name?

Hi Bob's wife OP, why not say who you are?

Sarah is big time taking the piss, though Bob should have sorted this out when they first split.

Bob did the right thing be helping out above and beyond his legal obligations when he left for his new fancy woman(?) However now Sarah has a new bloke, they should at least be paying market value rent on the house.

Bob should have sorted all of this out before he got married and had another child.

Get some legal advice and sort it out now Bob.

Bob is being taken for a fool. He needs to see a solicitor ASAP!

Sarah is taking the p..s if she thinks she can move another man in.

I think Bob needs to take legal advice. He has to think of his new family, but also has children from his relationship with Sarah - if they are to stay with Sarah he needs to make sure they are adequately provided for - ie Sarah needs to be able to manage on her income and whatever is calculated is due from him - if not would he be comfortable giving Sarah something from the sale of the house, or alternatively if she can look after them properly, he could apply for custody.

Why is the new (fancy!) man moving into Bob's house? Has he no shame? Can Bob charge him market rent?

Sarah has no legal rights to the house-bob should have sorted this out legally when they split though

Sarah and Bungalow Bill (the freeloader) are taking the piss!

Bob needs good legal advice (ie not from here)

Now Sarah is getting married Bob no longer feels he needs to pay the mortgage and child maintenance as Sarah is no longer a single mum in need of help to pay the rent

I think Bob is in for a shock if he thinks he can stop paying CM just because Sarah is getting married...

What's the problem here?
What is Sarah wanting?

From what you've said, Sarah wants half the proceeds of the house when it sells.
From what you've said, Bob wants to give Sarah half the proceeds from the house when it sells.

What about Rita and Sue?

Sarah needs to accept that 50% of the equity is way way more than she is entitled to, and that she should be contributing to housing herself and her children.

They need to both get advice and maybe mediation to sort out a fair settlement, it's great that Bob is supporting his children and ex-partner properly, but it needs to be more equitable and it would be more security for him and Sarah if they arranged things properly legally. What happens if Bob dies? What if the kids don't leave home? What if Bob needs care?

The longer this goes on, the more risk of this being taken out of their hands.

@Ohbotherpiglet

If house is solely in Bobs name and they are not married why on earth is he still paying for it? He should have sold it when they split.

Agree with this. I take it you are Bob’s wife ? I think Bob needs legal advice.

What has Bob been doing to figure this out ? Just trying to please everybody?

It's really not up to you to figure it out.
Bob is his own man. He needs to handle it and ask for the appropriate help/advice

Bob is a nice guy. I like how is focused on his kids. I like his sense of honour.
He could consider renting the house to Sarah while kids finish school/sixth form. Damaging his relationship with his children in their teenage years might be disastrous. And this would provide some extra funds for Bob and his new wife.
It doesn't get them a bigger house though. Bob needs to decide if that's a priority - are his children being treated equally/fairly?

Sarah has no claim to the house in law.
But I applaud Bob's stance of treating her as a wife. And in making his cm payments without a quibble.
If they'd had a mesher order, Sarah getting married and moving someone in would have negated it anyway.

He could do calculations based on value of house, split 50/50 and then deducting her 50% share of mortgage payments since the split and deducting from his share 50% of any building improvement expenses she has made. (Without being an arse about receipts). And taking into account costs of selling a 2nd home and capital gains tax. But not running costs as he hasn't had the benefit of living there. That would seem a more than reasonable offer.
Worth seeing a solicitor so he can detail what she's actually entitled to in law and Sarah can see how much better his offer is.

Technically Bob doesn't need to pay the mortgage AND child support.

It'd be fair for the house to be sold with Sarah getting a percentage but certainly not half. Bob should get his deposit back, clear the debts that was jointly accrued between Bob and Sarah then the split on what is left after settling the remaining mortgage depends on lots of factors such as :
*was Sarah a sahm, was it mutually agreed?
*did Sarah contribute to mortgage at all even though she wasn't on mortgage?
*why was Sarah not on mortgage?

• Has Sarah financially contributed to the upkeep of the house?
• How long they lived in the house as a family vs how long Bob has solely paid the mortgage while living elsewhere

Bob needs to be very careful as Sarah could claim adverse possession and take the whole house if he continues to let her live there rent free.

Sarah and her fiancée are a couple of piss takers, who think they can continue to live off Bob. She should move in with him and Bob, being a decent bloke should move back to his house, remortgage, give Sarah a lump sum and continue to pay the mortgage. The children already live there and have bedrooms etc.

However, I understand how the optics would look to the joint children. So then the option could be the children live with Bob 50/50. Or maybe Bob should sell the house, buy somewhere new and give Sarah a lump sum.

I’d say Bob’s a mug.

Bob and Sarah need to both hire a respective solicitor, it’s nothing to do with the separate parties.

Did Bob write into the mortgage he would get that 25k back? If not Sarah may be entitled to half. Why does Sarah not pay the mortgage? Bob stops mortgage payments as of this month and the house goes on the market as solicitors hash it out.

It sounds like Sarah, in legal terms, has no rights at all in this case. So sad.

@2022success

Now Sarah is getting married Bob no longer feels he needs to pay the mortgage and child maintenance as Sarah is no longer a single mum in need of help to pay the rent

I think Bob is in for a shock if he thinks he can stop paying CM just because Sarah is getting married...

I think op means his paying both, not stopping paying CM.