Should someone who's been waiting longer than you at the bus stop always get on first?

[Letthebodieshitthefloor]

The bus I take is essentially a coach, always plenty of seats even at busy hours.

This morning I approached the bus stop, a woman was already there, and I saw her glaring at me because I was standing in the bus stop rather than at the side.

She then let another woman on first who'd perhaps been there longer than she had, then got herself in front of me and looked at me making sure I wouldn't get on before she did.

It's all a bit petty really, the bus was almost empty, it's not going to go without you.

If there were a pregnant/vulnerable/elderly passenger getting on and I could see there weren't many seats left then I'd let them on first.

I'm Irish though and although bus etiquette does exist in Ireland, it may be slightly less rigid. The queue may be less visible. At normal bus stops, the queue isn't a visible line but people would usually be aware of what order they arrive in and most people would push to get on before somebody they knew arrived after them if the bus could not take everybody. If not, people don't care what order they get on the bus.
The man who gave me daggers is English. I know where he works and he has a good job. His interpretation of bus etiquette is that even when we both have our choice of 20 seats, we should still adhere rigidly to bus etiquette even if it delays the bus. I disagree wit that interpretation and got dirty looks and got told to fuck off. But he probably genuinely thought I lacked manners!

I don't think he was a knob because he was English, I think he's just a self-important arsehole and I caused him a narc injury by getting on the bus when it stopped right beside me not him.

Yes 100% you get on the bus in order of arrival otherwise face the death stares

@NearlyAHoarder oh I missed the swearing. That’s completely unacceptable of him.

But you still pushed in.

It really is basic queue etiquette.

I live at the start of a bus route, and there's usually no more than 3 people at the stop, even then with an empty bus we get on in the order we got to the stop.

Along with a cheers or 'fanks when you get off the bus.

he looked like he was about to start a fight with me @GreenFridays, he passed by the stairs to go upstairs on the bus and came towards me to the back of the bus. His expression was angry. So I tried to get in there quickly and explained my rationale. He acted like he was a vulnerable old lady and I'd pushed him out of the way to get on the bus.
I found it threatening. I'm 5'1" he was well over 6'2'' and the level of anger he was displaying on his face was just really disproportionate.

It's not like the bus just let me on and drove off. It was a pointless, pointless anger. We both had many seats to choose from and I knew that because I get that bus every morning, as does he.

At that stop, everybody is very friendly, the nod, they smile. There's no need for that ruthless I will stand on you to survive mentality.

It's not the titanic. It wasn't the last place on a life boat.

It was a seat on a bus with many other seats.

The drivers on that route hate any ''faffing'' while getting on. I know that because I get on every morning with my leap card in my hand ready to tap. NO FAFFING on an express bus.

@MsJaneAusten

I got very confused when waiting for a bus in Cuba as whenever anyone new arrived at the bus stop they would ask ‘ultimo?’ and the last person to arrive would raise a hand or nod at them, but everyone just sat or stood where they wanted to. When the bus arrived, they seamlessly formed themselves into a queue, with each person standing behind their ‘ultimo’. It was a thing of beauty.

This is awesome. Are they generally polite in other scenarios in Cuba?

This gave me cold shivers, and reminded me it's another issue I have with public transport. I feel so aggrieved when people don't obey the queue, and feel so irrationally angry. It really puts me in an even shitter mood, and is probably written all over my face

RicherThanYew

God Bless British culture grin if you don't adhere to the beloved queue culture you risk the awesome power of the glare, or even worse, the TUT!

Or God forbid.....The Huff

But it may not be about getting a seat. It might be about wanting or needing to sit down sooner. Surely the narc move is to think you should get on first as soon as you rock up.

@NearlyAHoarder

he looked like he was about to start a fight with me *@GreenFridays*, he passed by the stairs to go upstairs on the bus and came towards me to the back of the bus. His expression was angry. So I tried to get in there quickly and explained my rationale. He acted like he was a vulnerable old lady and I'd pushed him out of the way to get on the bus. I found it threatening. I'm 5'1" he was well over 6'2'' and the level of anger he was displaying on his face was just really disproportionate.

It's not like the bus just let me on and drove off. It was a pointless, pointless anger. We both had many seats to choose from and I knew that because I get that bus every morning, as does he.

At that stop, everybody is very friendly, the nod, they smile. There's no need for that ruthless I will stand on you to survive mentality.

It's not the titanic. It wasn't the last place on a life boat.

It was a seat on a bus with many other seats.

The drivers on that route hate any ''faffing'' while getting on. I know that because I get on every morning with my leap card in my hand ready to tap. NO FAFFING on an express bus.

But you still pushed in. Why are you trying to defend it? You’re not OP but it’s a similar situation and the vast majority agree you let those on before you first.

@YouCantTourniquetTheTaint

It really is basic queue etiquette.

I live at the start of a bus route, and there's usually no more than 3 people at the stop, even then with an empty bus we get on in the order we got to the stop.

Along with a cheers or 'fanks when you get off the bus.

No, no, no. It's not "fanks" or "cheers". It's "Thank yoooouuu"

Tut.

I think it depends on the bus stop.

A smaller town or village where there's only one bus at that stop, yes always queue and get on in order.

A crowded city bus stop (e.g. London) where there may be 12 different buses and lots of people coming and going, you stand wherever there's room and get on the bus as quick as you can.

@MsJaneAusten

I got very confused when waiting for a bus in Cuba as whenever anyone new arrived at the bus stop they would ask ‘ultimo?’ and the last person to arrive would raise a hand or nod at them, but everyone just sat or stood where they wanted to. When the bus arrived, they seamlessly formed themselves into a queue, with each person standing behind their ‘ultimo’. It was a thing of beauty.

I have seen similar in Spain. It looks like chaos but everyone seems to know what they are doing

You can't all get through the door at once so it makes sense to have a system for getting on the bus, like those who wait longest get on first.

I've lived in countries where people never queue for anything and it's a real culture shock.
The worst was airports in Saudi Arabia. Perhaps it's changed now but they'd let the women and children on first then it was everyone for themselves, pushing and shoving and running to get the best seats.

[quote GreenFridays]@NearlyAHoarder oh I missed the swearing. That’s completely unacceptable of him.

But you still pushed in.[/quote]
I didn't ''push in''. I would never do that.

The bus stopped with the doors right by me so it was ONE step to get on.

The awful man wouldn't have got on any quicker if I'd done a standing aside after you gesture.

In fact, he might have thought it was sarcastic.

If I'd been in his shoes and the bus stopped right beside somebody so that it was ONE step for them to get on the bus and then I just get on one step behind, I would feel irritated by the pantomime of them stepping aside to let me on first when we both know full well that there is never a shortage of seats at that time at that stop.

But this may be the difference between bus etiquette in Ireland and bus etiquette in England.

In Ireland I think it is a bit shocking that a fit healthy man a foot taller than I am felt wronged that a woman hadn't stood aside to let him on first. This may be old-fashioned of me. But in his shoes I wouldn't have made an issue of a woman not standing aside to let me on first.

Anyway, luckily common sense does prevail and most of the people on that bus are the same faces every day and most are extremely courteous. He was the exception. And not because he's English. Because he's a university lecturer!!!

At my bus stop in London, people form an orderly queue. We are very polite up here in north London

@NearlyAHoarder You still pushed in! He was there first, not you. Therefore, you pushed in.

You don’t even need to gesture, you step back to make it clear you recognise he was there first.

And it’s nothing whatsoever to do with England / Ireland, so not sure why you keep going on about that.

@FourTeaFallOut

Of course the people who get there first go on the bus first. What are you, a savage?

Ahahaha savage 🤣

@FourTeaFallOut

Of course the people who get there first go on the bus first. What are you, a savage?

@GreenFridays I did not Push in.

I did not.

I stepped on to the bus quickly.

If I'd stepped aside, he would not have got on to the bus any quicker.

I'm all for bus etiquette, I have NEVER pushed anybody aside to get on a bus depriving them of either a seat or a standing place, NEVER,that's just not who I am. I'm more likely to be the one left behind at the bus stop because I wasn't assertive enough.

@YouCantTourniquetTheTaint

It really is basic queue etiquette.

I live at the start of a bus route, and there's usually no more than 3 people at the stop, even then with an empty bus we get on in the order we got to the stop.

Along with a cheers or 'fanks when you get off the bus.

'thank you, driver', in Glasgow.

Ok @NearlyAHoarder. If you say. Let’s just ignore the majority of posts here that agree you let those there first on before you.

It's not ''basic manners'' when it's a meaningless gesture that delays an express bus (not just at one stop but potentially at many other bus stops)
Yes it is, it really is because if you paid attention to whom was there before you and stepped back, you'd go at the right time and there would no delays. Even if you happen to be in front, how long does it take you to step back? 5 mns?

@MsJaneAusten

I got very confused when waiting for a bus in Cuba as whenever anyone new arrived at the bus stop they would ask ‘ultimo?’ and the last person to arrive would raise a hand or nod at them, but everyone just sat or stood where they wanted to. When the bus arrived, they seamlessly formed themselves into a queue, with each person standing behind their ‘ultimo’. It was a thing of beauty.

Where does everyone live where they form a nice orderly queue? Definitely not the case in my rough part of London, the only time it bothers me is when it’s another person with a pram, they will come to the bus stop and park right next to mine in order to get on first like it’s a race! I always hang back if I see another pram so they can get on first but wow so many will park theirs basically touching mine, I had one woman who did this and when the bus came she hopped on the back! When I got on there was already a pram on, so no space for mine, I told her I was there first and she didn’t care and refused to move, the bus driver told us one had to get off but I said no chance, I was there first, but she still would not get off, so he ended up driving with us all on even though she didn’t even pay as she got on the back.

@awesomekilick

The only place in England where entry to a vehicle is a free for all, rather than by order of who arrived first, is the London Underground. If you want to shove on first without incurring social contempt, the 07.25 from kings Cross to Leicester Square is your best bet.

Except on the jubilee line where they queue up!