Bmi!

[Kca29]

Not really an aibu so apologies. I'm a 5 foot 7 female who needs to lose some weight. I've put my weight and height into nhs bmi and I'm obese, I can try work on that.

But aibu to be really surprised at my 'ideal weight'.

My ideal according to nhs would be between 8 Stone 6 (I mean wtaf) and 11 Stone 5.

I'm never gonna be bloody 8 stone, likely not 11 Stone either. Dp is 11.5 Stone, 30 inch waist and small S clothes, he's very slim and not much taller than me. I'm never gonna weigh the same as him 😅

I was between 11.5-12 stone at age 19 pre kids and I was pretty slim, size 10. I never used to eat much to maintain that weight, used to obsess over calories and was obsessed with exercise. I don't want to be back to that obsessive stage again.

As mentioned above my dp fluctuates between 11.5-12 stone which is in the upper healthy range for a man of 5 foot 9/10. If he was a few pounds heavier he would be deemed overweight. Despite being in a men's size small, 30 inch waist and literally nothing on him 😅

So aibu to think sometimes ideal weight is a load of tosh and we all when different shapes and sizes.

I'm quite broad as well. Quite a 'solid' build rather than excess fat.

It's just disheartening that my ideal weight is probably never gonna be achievable!!

I don't know if I believe this big bones business. If you look at skeletons they all look pretty much the same! I think it's more to do with muscle. I have never been at al muscular so when I reach 11 stone I just look fat and flabby despite being a healthy BMI (I'm tall). However, I have friends my height who also weigh 11 stone but look super slim and toned - it's because they have a high muscle/fat ratio. If you look good at 11.5 stone OP I expect it's because you're a muscular person.

I'm always baffled by people who are the same height as me but apparently the same size despite being 2-3 stone heavier; how is that even possible?!

By shopping in Next or M&S?

@WorraLiberty

I've never seen a single person (unless ill) looking 'gaunt' at a healthy weight.

I've heard it said many a time by people struggling to lose weight though, so I wonder if those around them who might have their own reasons for not wanting them to slim down, are filling their heads with the idea that they'll 'look gaunt'?

I do think people who have just lost weight can look 'strange' to others. It can also make you look older because the fat was padding out the wrinkles so maybe that's where it comes from.

I'm always baffled by people who are the same height as me but apparently the same size despite being 2-3 stone heavier; how is that even possible?!

I am a 12 at H&M, a 10 in M&S and an 8 at Next.

@SuperJune

OP do you enjoy listening to podcasts? If so try 'maintenance phase', they dive into topics to do with weight and explain where they came from - often from very very shaky evidence or none at all!!

They have a whole episode on BMI which explains why it isn't that good of a measure, as PPs here have said. You might find it interesting, I definitely did

Maintenance Phase is very interesting and educational, but quite pro fat and maybe not what is needed for someone who wants to lose weight.

@Postdatedpandemic

I'm always baffled by people who are the same height as me but apparently the same size despite being 2-3 stone heavier; how is that even possible?!

I am a 12 at H&M, a 10 in M&S and an 8 at Next.

Also on MN, as others have pointed out on various threads, there are lots of people with big muscles or big boobs so they can fit into smaller sizes at a higher weight.

@Gwenhwyfar

I do think people who have just lost weight can look 'strange' to others.

I looked strange to myself! It was months before I got used to my thinner face. I thought I looked skeletal, but I definitely don't.

I also kept panicking because I felt all these lumps and bumps under my skin, then I realised it was just things like my intestines and ribs, which had been cushioned under a layer of fat before. It all looks and feels normal to me now.

My BMI is 24, but I am muscly and have a large frame, so I look good on it. I do wonder if I should aim for 23 this year though, as I am still carrying a fair amount of fat. I might give it a go and see if it's a struggle.

BMI is useful as a guide. I settle at the top end of my recommended weight and I'm happy with that as I carry my weight on my boobs and thighs. Your waist measurement is very important to keep an eye on as it dictates where you carry fat and you don't want it on your organs. Clothing size is an irrelevant number too. A size 12 is too big on me now, but I can't get into size 12s I bought eight years ago.
I have recently lost a stone. 6cm has come off my waist, but only 2cm from my thighs. Very annoying now trying to get into jeans when my thighs are two sizes bigger than my waist.

BMI is a very broad range to accommodate different body types.

Very broadly speaking, most women carry weight in their lower halves or around their belly. Belly fat is unhealthier. Apple shaped women need to be the lower end of the BMI range to get a smaller waist measurement and pear shaped will be higher.

Well that's why its a range! Because some people are healthy at one weight but not another. I have a friend who is the same height as me but naturally sits at the bottom of the BMI weight - her hips are narrow, bone structure is very fine and delicate. She had kids so is a little lumpy and bumpy (her phrase). I sit towards the top of the same BMI window. I've been at the bottom and looked great, but it was seriously hardwork to maintain, I was constantly hungry, my hair was thin and my skin dry - I'm much healthier higher up, though not as high as I am now. I've also been incredibly fit and muscular, but I didn't go over my BMI.

BMI is a broad tool that works for the majority of people and those who say it doesn't are usually just overweight because of lifestyle or health issues.

I think there's different builds
My friend is 5ft 5 ish, size 4, tiny wrists, hands, very narrow shoulders
I'm 5ft 10 and feel like a lump next to her as I'm just broader. Even if you took all the fat off us, my hips/shoulders would still be wider
Like ballet dancer vs power lifter

I'm always baffled by people who are the same height as me but apparently the same size despite being 2-3 stone heavier; how is that even possible?!

my sister and I are the same height.
I have longer legs and she wider hips. (we can't swap trousers)
at the same weight and clothes size she looks slimmer than me due longer torso and wider hips.

@Kca29

Not really an aibu so apologies. I'm a 5 foot 7 female who needs to lose some weight. I've put my weight and height into nhs bmi and I'm obese, I can try work on that.

But aibu to be really surprised at my 'ideal weight'.

My ideal according to nhs would be between 8 Stone 6 (I mean wtaf) and 11 Stone 5.

I'm never gonna be bloody 8 stone, likely not 11 Stone either. Dp is 11.5 Stone, 30 inch waist and small S clothes, he's very slim and not much taller than me. I'm never gonna weigh the same as him 😅

I was between 11.5-12 stone at age 19 pre kids and I was pretty slim, size 10. I never used to eat much to maintain that weight, used to obsess over calories and was obsessed with exercise. I don't want to be back to that obsessive stage again.

As mentioned above my dp fluctuates between 11.5-12 stone which is in the upper healthy range for a man of 5 foot 9/10. If he was a few pounds heavier he would be deemed overweight. Despite being in a men's size small, 30 inch waist and literally nothing on him 😅

So aibu to think sometimes ideal weight is a load of tosh and we all when different shapes and sizes.

I'm quite broad as well. Quite a 'solid' build rather than excess fat.

It's just disheartening that my ideal weight is probably never gonna be achievable!!

It does seem a bit crazy that at 5ft 7 you could go as low as 8 stone 6 and still be classed as a healthy weight.

I’ve just looked at mine and I’m 4ft 11 and my maximum healthy weight should be 8st 12.

So at 8 inches shorter than you we could both be classed as a healthy if we were the same weight!

We are so used to being surrounded by overweight people that it has been normalised. I’m 5’7” and have reduced from a BMI of 29 to 23. At the time I was heavy I didn’t think I was overweight, plenty of people looked the same as me or bigger. But now I’ve lost the weight I can definitely say the BMI is a good guide and I was definitely caring too much weight to be healthy, I can now walk for miles, run and my knees don’t hurt.

Last year , after two kids, I was 20 kilo over weight according to my bmi . I definitely felt it too ☹️

Before I lost the weight I came up with an ideal weight . I had gone on a trip to Hawaii in 2017 and loved how I looked. It wasn’t my lowest weight but I was skinny and had muscle . I had a glow . I have a digital scale that records my weight so I looked back on what my weight was during that trip and it had me at a bmi of 24.7. That’s JUST in the healthy range . I was shocked . I thought for sure, based on my body at the time , my bmi would be sitting right in the middle of healthy . I never paid attention to bmi before so I never would have known at the time.

Anyway I lost the weight last year and got down to a health bmi . I do really like how I look (except now my tummy is flabby because I’ve had two kids 😝) I don’t lift weights or do strength training but I’m naturally muscular which could be why my bmi sits a bit higher.

A labrador and a greyhound are never going to have the same ideal weight despite being around the same height, because their skeletons are so vastly different.

Nature has either made you a racing snake or a brick shithouse in the skeletal stakes, and no matter what you do, you aren't going to change that. BMI for each of those extremes is going to be pointless and ridiculous.

I'm the same height as you, and the best weight for me (and which I was naturally at for many years without any dieting required) was 10st 10 to 11st 4 or thereabouts.

It does seem a bit crazy that at 5ft 7 you could go as low as 8 stone 6 and still be classed as a healthy weight.
It isn't a healthy weight, OP's BMI would be 18.5 at 8 stone 6 and would be advised on calculations she was closely approaching underweight range.
I just looked at mine and I’m 4ft 11 and my maximum healthy weight should be 8st 12.
That would be correct for your height but at the maximum end of healthy.
So at 8 inches shorter than you we could both be classed as a healthy if we were the same weight!
You'd both be tipping either end of the scale, OP into underweight, you into overweight.
Very different.

@eagerlywaitingfor

A labrador and a greyhound are never going to have the same ideal weight despite being around the same height, because their skeletons are so vastly different.

Nature has either made you a racing snake or a brick shithouse in the skeletal stakes, and no matter what you do, you aren't going to change that. BMI for each of those extremes is going to be pointless and ridiculous.

I'm the same height as you, and the best weight for me (and which I was naturally at for many years without any dieting required) was 10st 10 to 11st 4 or thereabouts.

But surely that's why there is a 3 stone window in the healthy range?

OP, do your waist measurement and work out your waist to height ratio- there are online calculators.

I am slightly overweight for BMI but bang in the middle of the healthy range for waist to height ratio.

If you are more than slightly overweight in terms of BMI though you might find that losing even half a stone to a stone helps in terms of making day to day things easier - sometimes you don't realise how much more difficult things have become with the extra weight.

I do think frame size & height makes quite a big difference.

I'm tall, but narrow & definitely look too thin at my lowest "healthy" weight. I personally prefer myself at the middle point. DH is overweight BMI wise, he was in hospital & lost 2 stone once putting him in the healthy category. He looked awful.

Probably a silly question but I often see people on MN saying they got to an age where they needed to 'choose between arse and face'?

What does that actually mean?

Just read your post properly. 11.5 to 12 stone is fine, OP, really don't worry about it and work on being fit keeping blood pressure and resting heart rate down and good cholesterol and blood sugar.

Men have higher bone density and increased muscle mass hence why their BMI calculation is different. BMI is just a screening tool, it’s not a bad estimate. You can use things like waist circumference in addition. If you carry less weight around your torso you’d be less at risk than someone who carries weight centrally, even with the same BMI. The range in BMI takes into account different build/ muscle mass etc. You have to be extremely well muscles for BMI to be really inaccurate, it’s quite unusual in females

Huh. So I've just tried a couple of those height to waist measurement calculators and they said I'm underweight by that standard? Very odd as my BMI is 21, so perfectly healthy?

I've no idea what my frame type is either. I have stupidly tiny wrists (when I wrap my finger and thumb round them they overlap down to the first knuckle of my finger), which suggests I'm small framed, but I have quite broad shoulders , they're the widest bit of me by some way.

I'm not terribly worried though, everyone says weight gain is inevitable once you get past 45, and I'm nearly there, so I'll just appreciate it while it lasts!

@WorraLiberty

Probably a silly question but I often see people on MN saying they got to an age where they needed to 'choose between arse and face'?

What does that actually mean?

It means that in middle age you get wrinkly, but fat pads out the wrinkles so a fat middle aged person can look younger than their real age.

We could see Huw Edwards's real age in his face when he lost weight.
I know a large 60 year old who likes like she's in her 40s.

It doesn't work for younger people though, for them being fat makes them look older.