To feel embarrassed?

[user76098323]

I work in a fairly large department of around 20 people. I get on well with my colleagues but the department has a high turnover of staff. In the last month 3 people have left and 2 are leaving in the next month.
One of my colleagues has taken it upon herself to organise collections, she arranged one just before Christmas for a colleague that was leaving and I explained I couldn't afford to put into the collection. Everyone puts between £3-£5 in.
So this week she has been arranging another collection for a colleague who is leaving this week. I heard her saying to another colleague I won't bother asking user76098323 she can't afford it then they both started laughing.
I feel so embarrassed and not a 'team player'. They all sign the card but because I haven't put into the collection I can't so it makes me feel excluded. I end up just doing my own card.
I just feel so awkward knowing there's going to be at least 2 collections in the next few weeks.

I'd be complaining to your manager , nasty woman .

What an a*se hole. I would definitely be complaining to higher management.

She's hardly a team player!

Could you afford to put £1 in? That's roughly what you would be paying to buy your own card anyway. Normally it's just put whatever you can afford not a set amount.

I agree, can you really not afford about a pound? You’d be spending that on a card. Maybe they don’t believe you can’t afford anything if you buy a card?

@Mamamia7962

Could you afford to put £1 in? That's roughly what you would be paying to buy your own card anyway. Normally it's just put whatever you can afford not a set amount.

I make my own cards so don't buy a card

Everyone puts down how much they have contributed on the envelope so everyone would know how much I put in.

Everyone puts down how much they have contributed on the envelope so everyone would know how much I put in.

And you think zero is better than a pound? Just have a word, explain you really are skint.

They should be enbarrassed, not you. What horrible people.

Why do people have to put down how much they put in? Who made up that rule, what is the purpose of it. Have never heard of that before.

I think you need to speak to both the people. Totally unacceptable.

Collections in work places can be overwhelming and very inconsiderate. Weather you can afford it or not is neither here or there.

@Mamamia7962

Why do people have to put down how much they put in? Who made up that rule, what is the purpose of it. Have never heard of that before.

Im not sure but thats how they do it. Everyone puts their name down and how much they put in.

@Bluntness100

Everyone puts down how much they have contributed on the envelope so everyone would know how much I put in.

And you think zero is better than a pound? Just have a word, explain you really are skint.

I know £1 looks better than nothing but with the amount of people leaving it soon adds up.

Everyone puts down how much they have contributed on the envelope so everyone would know how much I put in.

Oh wow - who the hell does this? I have never heard of this before!!
The colleague sounds childish and nasty. You are basically admitting to being totally skint and struggling financially and she's making fun of you! You can complain to your manager but personally I would probably just shout across the room "what was that Janet?" And keep repeating until she has to say her nasty comments loud enough for everyone to hear. SHE's the one who should be embarrassed.

I wouldn't be complaining to the manager about their comments, just deal with them yourself!

Just say I'm not getting into collections and leave it at that.

I think that’s ridiculous , it’s not sustainable is it?! Not if there’s a high turnover , we’ve had a few recently but they’ve been ‘ man and boy’ type Colleagues which I think it different, but I still did t put in I mean where does it end? Raffle tickets, kids sponsor forms, new baby, weddings ….. I just have a blanket no response . You won’t be alone in your thoughts, maybe the collecting colleague was laughing out of embarrassment perhaps she realises it’s a bit much.
See how much she gets each time, each subsequent collection will be less than it’s predecessor so you’ll know it’s not just you !

Twat. Before working from home, there was always a collection going around for this that or the other. I used to just pass it on. Most of the time I didn’t even know the person being collected for.

It does add up. It’s not ok for her to embarrass you, she should be able to tell your struggling financially if she thinks about it, Ie no buying coffee or lunch etc,no new clothes or going out.

You just need to ignore it, they won’t change how they do it, and as you really can’t afford it, you can’t contribute so, it is what it is. Don’t complain to management, but if she continues just have a quiet word with her,

What hell place do you work at where people put down the amount they contributed? That is the weirdest and most fucked up thing I have read this week. Sounds like a horrible toxic environment

I would of said excuse me! What did you fucking say!!! Sorry I won’t stand for that

How awful to have to write down the exact contribution. They should change it to just ticking the names when each person has been asked to contribute.

Yes, that would soon add up if there's a high turnover of staff. If these people aren't staying very long then could you not just say that you don't know them well enough to contribute to a leaving present. You never know, other people might be finding it about much too. How many on average leave within 3 months?

@Bluntness100

It does add up. It’s not ok for her to embarrass you, she should be able to tell your struggling financially if she thinks about it, Ie no buying coffee or lunch etc,no new clothes or going out.

You just need to ignore it, they won’t change how they do it, and as you really can’t afford it, you can’t contribute so, it is what it is. Don’t complain to management, but if she continues just have a quiet word with her,

Why ignore it! It’s almost saying it’s acceptable.

@turnaroundtime

What hell place do you work at where people put down the amount they contributed? That is the weirdest and most fucked up thing I have read this week. Sounds like a horrible toxic environment

I've been there 12 years and it's always been like this. I thought it was normal 😆 I don't know why they do it like this, maybe they think someone might pinch some.

I'd talk to her and ask her to be discrete about peoples personal situations.
What a nasty cow.

@Mamamia7962

Yes, that would soon add up if there's a high turnover of staff. If these people aren't staying very long then could you not just say that you don't know them well enough to contribute to a leaving present. You never know, other people might be finding it about much too. How many on average leave within 3 months?

I would say on average 2 leave a month, so 6 in the next 3 months.

I used to run departments & there is no way I'd be letting this sort of toxic behaviour go. This sort of collection, especially in the current climate is bound to cause issues. I always hit the actual company boss up for a decent donation & staff just wrote on the card to save potential issues like this. I'd definitely raise this with HR/Management as it's unlikely you're the only one negatively affected.

& your colleagues are nasty judgey dickheads. I'd personally be having very stern words with them if anyone came to me with this issue