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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse overseas work trip?

98 replies

Bumbleumbo · 05/01/2022 12:51

Posting here for traffic..

I work for a large global company and each year over 200 employees from around the world meet for a conference in the US. This moved to virtual in 2021 but the will be back to in person this year, with a 6 night, 5 day trip planned next month. I don’t want to go. I’m worried about catching Covid whilst I’m out there and get stuck in quarantine. I’m a single parent to three children and my ExH is unable to have them anyway due to health issues.

I am obliged to travel overseas as part of my job and I’m expected to go. Travel wasn’t an issue pre-pandemic, however so much has changed over the last two years and childcare support is a challenge. Isolation could mean getting stuck in the US for weeks. Can I refuse to go even if it’s in my contract?

OP posts:
Iamanicepersonreally · 05/01/2022 12:53

I don't think you could refuse to go if it's in your contract, bit in not sure that anyone here can advise you. Could you discuss with your employer and see what they say?

TeeBee · 05/01/2022 12:59

Many conferences are running hybrid format (virtual and onsite). Is your conference not doing that?

nicelyneurotic · 05/01/2022 13:03

I'd agree to go and then at the last minute (if it doesn't get cancelled) fall ill... Your situation is difficult and employers might not understand.

Lobelia123 · 05/01/2022 13:11

@nicelyneurotic

I'd agree to go and then at the last minute (if it doesn't get cancelled) fall ill... Your situation is difficult and employers might not understand.
Please dont listen to this advice....its unethical and unprofessional. Speak to your management team and be honest with them, see if something can be worked out. If it can, fantastic. If it cant, you have to accept that its a requirement of your position and if its no longer working for you, its time to look for something that does. But dont damage your reputation by acting badly.
MorningStarling · 05/01/2022 13:18

You can refuse to go even if you're contractually obliged. Otherwise it's slavery. They could discipline you or sue you for breach of contract of course but they can't make you travel.

If you think they would be flexible then give them your concerns and ask that you are able to miss it this year.

Otherwise as PP said, the best thing to do is claim you've got a positive Covid test just before you're supposed to head for the airport.

That might be unethical and unprofessional but if your employer won't listen to your reasonable concerns then that's a route worth taking.

Akire · 05/01/2022 13:25

It sounds really tough but if your ex health means he can’t ever have kids then long term a change of job could be on the cards. Unless it’s incredible well paid that you can have a nanny for week each time you need to go.
You can’t just never travel with the job if that’s a vital element unless they agree to change your contract. If they highly value your skills and experience they may agree to do that but being sick before each trip will soon have you in trouble

FortniteBoysMum · 05/01/2022 13:29

Speak to them and explain your concerned that if you get stuck in quarantinecyou do not have childcare in place. Tell them whilst you have struggled to organise care for the days of the trip should you need to quarantine which is very possible your children have no one to look after them. Ask them if there is a way around this, then if they still demand you go I would be asking if they will cover the cost of hiring emergency childcare should this worst case scenario occur.

MintJulia · 05/01/2022 13:34

Go to HR and explain your concerns about getting stuck and having no-one to care for DCs. Given the current wfh advice, it is not an unreasonable worry, so ask them for suggestions.

Could you swap this trip for one in 2023?

Original poster
Bumbleumbo · 05/01/2022 13:48

Thanks everyone. I will speak to my boss but the vibe I’m getting so far is that my entire team is expected to go. My ex could previously manage a week or two at a time but he is now in and out of hospital with a recurring illness, so it might well be time to look for something new.

I’m prepared to resign or breech my contract and face the consequences. My children take priority and I think it’s madness this trip is going ahead. 200+ colleagues sat together in a conference room for 8 hours a day. Some from high risk countries and others from countries whereby regular testing is not routine. My US colleagues don’t typically test like we do and they’ll all be flying in from different states. The law of averages means at least someone is likely to have it!

OP posts:
wineandsprite · 05/01/2022 13:54

In your shoes, I would fake a positive LFT. Seems you won't be able to get a PCR very soon anyway. Honestly, it's not OK to put you at such risk, especially not with children at home that need you there.

Crazykatie · 05/01/2022 14:01

Unless the company allows flexibility in your circumstances I would find another job, it is a serious concern for you wether there is Covid or not.

TrickorTreacle · 05/01/2022 14:03

It's in your staff handbook that got given to you when you first started.

Theonlyoneiknow · 05/01/2022 14:04

I'm surprised a large global company is holding an in person conference given the consequences if there is a covid spread throughout all of those employees who attend - where is their risk analysis?

I would speak to HR and be honest with what you have said. I certainly wouldn't be faking any illness or a positive LFT. I would be very surprised if the conference isn't being live streamed. I am sure you arent the only one who isn't comfortable with going.

LethargicActress · 05/01/2022 14:06

It’s in your contract so they aren’t being unreasonable expecting you to go. The world is opening up again and companies can’t be expected to hold back because of a few employees anxieties when it works for the majority.

Your childcare issues are an entirely separate thing, and if those have changed to the extent that you can’t fulfil your contract, then you either have to renegotiate or leave.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 05/01/2022 14:06

@TrickorTreacle

It's in your staff handbook that got given to you when you first started.
What is?
bluemondae · 05/01/2022 14:09

What kind of conference is it ? What is the purpose of having to go ?

allfurcoatnoknickers · 05/01/2022 14:09

I'm in the US and I'd be extremely surprised if this went ahead. I'm speaking at a big tech conference next month and it just went all virtual.

I don't think it's unreasonable to refuse to travel in Covid times though. I'd def talk to HR and your manager about your totally rational concerns.

Totalwasteofpaper · 05/01/2022 14:16

@Bumbleumbo

Thanks everyone. I will speak to my boss but the vibe I’m getting so far is that my entire team is expected to go. My ex could previously manage a week or two at a time but he is now in and out of hospital with a recurring illness, so it might well be time to look for something new.

I’m prepared to resign or breech my contract and face the consequences. My children take priority and I think it’s madness this trip is going ahead. 200+ colleagues sat together in a conference room for 8 hours a day. Some from high risk countries and others from countries whereby regular testing is not routine. My US colleagues don’t typically test like we do and they’ll all be flying in from different states. The law of averages means at least someone is likely to have it!

OMG do not do this!!! none of this is necessary! don't breech your contract or tell them upfront

just say yes, yes... so excited! wont it be fun?
and act like you are going and then claim you have covid (Lateral flow + lemon juice) or the flu and are too sick to travel....
make daily mail sad face and send a few messages on work chat saying how sad you are about misisng it and what an amazing time they are having..

ilovesooty · 05/01/2022 14:17

I can't believe the people suggesting faking positive tests or illness. However I'm not surprised that you are concerned, both because of your circumstances and the current covid situation.

All you can do is express your concerns to your employer. They have every right to say that they want you to go, and you may need to look for another job. The poster mentioning slavery is being ridiculous.

ilovesooty · 05/01/2022 14:19

Don't do what @Totalwasteofpaper suggests if you want to retain any professional credibility.

BellaChagall · 05/01/2022 14:21

I'm shocked at how many people are suggesting faking covid. It's unprofessional and unnecessary. Talk to your management and/or HR OP and discuss your situation.

Foolsrule · 05/01/2022 14:22

Make out like you’re going and then at the last minute, be unwell. Chances are it will be canceled anyway.

5keletor · 05/01/2022 14:22

Honestly, probably not the most ethical thing to do, but instead 9f resign I'd unfortunately rest positive a couple of days beforehand, and be gutted about not being able to go...

ilovesooty · 05/01/2022 14:25

@BellaChagall

I'm shocked at how many people are suggesting faking covid. It's unprofessional and unnecessary. Talk to your management and/or HR OP and discuss your situation.
Agreed. I wonder how many of these posters actually have professional roles in the real world.

Perhaps some of them are also habitual liars.

QuitMoaning · 05/01/2022 14:26

@ilovesooty

Don't do what *@Totalwasteofpaper* suggests if you want to retain any professional credibility.
Completely agree.

Posters on this site frequently slate employers so much but then sometimes it encourages people to do morally bankrupt things and then wonders why employers take a hard line with staff.

Speak to your manager and if necessary escalate but tell them the truth. If it is an employer large enough to afford to pay for 200 people to attend an overseas conference with hotels etc, then they should have positive policies in place in support of their employees in situations like this.