What has your boss said or done that has made you want to quit your job

[Lorddenning1]

Just been reading an article about this and it inspired me to start a a thread. What has your boss said or done that has made you want to quit on the spot.

Mine was to a colleague of mine, his apartment complex was on fire and it was spreading along to his row, he was evacuated and came into work to grab some things, we all knew what had happened and was all sad for him as he had children, my manager asked him to sort out her computer as he was our IT guy, he basically told her not right now he had bigger things to worry about and she stormed back into our office threw a stop, saying can you believe him, he is too busy to help and I bet he says it's because his flat is on fire. We all sat there like
Safe to say we didn't expect any compassion from her in regards to our personal life.

Oh, I have numerous examples! I worked for City law firms and American banks. The alpha types that work there don’t believe in tact or kindness.

DP was rushed into hospital and was taken straight for theatre for an emergency - life changing - op. I got the call at work from a nurse - couldn’t even speak to DP. Boss refused to let me leave the office, because “he’s not even your husband”, “there’s nothing you can do anyway, you’re not a Dr”and “I might need you later”. It was 8pm at night and I’d long finished my work for the day. I was a trainee and shaking, but I got my coat and left anyway. He put me on a disciplinary (was exonerated) .

Years later another boss burst out laughing when I told her I was pregnant with DC3 and then walked out the room and slammed the door. She refused to speak to me again, blanked me in meetings and turned her back on me in the staff kitchen and corridors. Made me move offices for no reason other than to give me ball ache and allocated my brill PA to someone else. Absolute playground behaviour from a woman in her 40’s earning £250k a year. I didn’t return after may leave and got a fab job, flexible working on better money.

Not me, but a colleague got a call from a colleague in another department saying, “We were so sorry you couldn’t come to the end of deal party for Project [_] last Friday! Hope you feel better. Daniel told us you were ill.” She knew nothing about the party and wasn’t ill. She had worked her socks off for months, weekends and all on that deal. When she confronted “Daniel” he at first denied it, then told her that it was a boys’ night and she wouldn’t have been comfortable going so he was doing her a favour and finally they were HIS clients and she was merely a support function implementing his strategy and not welcome”. 😠

The boss who begged me to cover a meeting for him so he could get to a friend’s wedding. I had been working 13 hour days on something else and was exhausted and had no capacity (which he knew!), but I felt sorry for him so agreed. He texted me when I was in the taxi heading there saying, “Cheers, Forsythia! You’re a lifesaver for covering Project []! See you on Thursday!” It was Friday morning and, so I discovered, the wedding was a week long celebration in a castle in Puglia. He hadn’t mentioned that and he switched off his phone. I was stuck managing his very stressful deal. I barely slept for a week. He then took all credit when it signed and was promoted to partner later that year.

My boss slagged off my pregnancy to a new manager who had never met me or had any dealings with me in work. Thing is I happened to have a mutual friend with this manager so I found out. According to my boss I was a little bitch and she was going to fuck me up and end my career. All because I was pregnant.

My first ever job at 17 was working in a kitchen in a care home. My mum worked there through the week too. One weekend one resident didn't want her food as she was refusing it. The senior carer on shift took it away saying" fine, don't eat it then"
I was shocked and at 17 thought it was cruel. Not only that the same senior left the same resident sat in her own urine. As I was 17 I wasn't able to help lift or lift myself due to not being old enough to do moving and handling.
I told my mum when I got home.
The next day she went into work and mentioned it to the manager. The manager asked how mum knew about it as she wasn't on shift, obviously mum said I'd told her as I was upset about it.
I got called into the office and told
"Maybe care work isn't for you and to vote back when I was 18"

Knowing what I know now about care homes, after since working in 4 of them, I'd have reported them to CQC, but back in 2003 I don't think it was CQC back then.

One of my previous jobs. The business owner was a complete and utter bully.

During lockdown he tried to get employees to accept and use a letter which claimed our company was falsely a key worker business so we needed to be in the office. He did this because "if I can't see you working, how do I know you're working".

People flat out refused to accept it and use it thank god. Not before he threatened to fire anyone who refused though

I genuinely believe he had some kind of narcissistic mental disorder. He was absolutely paranoid and had no empathy for others whatsoever. In the 4 years I was there I saw him targeting people and having them managed out of the business on the basis that he didn't like them. He would do it to people who had been there less than 2 years, so had no legal leg to stand on.

He once spent an hours phone call trying to convince me someone needed sacking for "laziness". This person was logging 55 hours a week! The real reason I reckon was that he didn't like that they challenged him during a meeting about 48 hours prior to that conversation.

@AhThisAgain

Said she wasn't happy for me to accept an award in an industry publication as it would put me too much in the spotlight at the expense of the rest of the team. The award would have been for me personally connected to previous work.

I was a consultant. I found a new role and left ASAP.

I hope you also accepted the Award?

Also, how weird if your boss not to use you as a positive affirmation of what can be achieved. 🌹

Had a new boss take over a wider team in which I was a Manager at the time. Boss was male and I was the only female Manager. He held an all staff team meeting where as an ice breaker he asked us all to submit one true, but unusual fact about ourselves which the wider team would be asked to guess. He then said that he would add some false ones in as well. Four Managers as well as me, seven who does the unusual fact belong to. I was shocked that one of his false facts was... "this Manager has had £20k of cosmetic surgery". To make matters worse he then went on to read it out and then deliberately look in my direction. Some of the team laughed. Some were shocked. He had clearly not worked with many women and when I spoke to him afterwards he said he was only joking and that he was sorry if I felt offended..i.e. the fault is mine. At our Christmas lunch six months on he got very drunk and encouraged his male managers to go on to a table dancing venue... come with us he said you might learn something. Again very sorry when he was sober. He left not longer after to a new job elsewhere. I really struggled not to walk out.

Went to work for a company, my role was covering a girl who was off on a year long project. Girl came back after the year and along with another girl on the project was automatically made team leader, no advertisement for the role nothing. The other girl on my team was one of her best friends so she always got priority over me for everything including approving over three weeks holidays that i would have to cover for. Team leader never worked a full month at all, rang in sick constantly and then was approved for 6 weeks hols which i was expected to cover for her . Wouldn't allow me certain days off when asked for as too many people in same area were off even though i pointed out other times three people in the same area were off. Was in hospital for a week and had to log on as she couldn't do my job. She finally left. Applied for her job, didn't get it, went to someone outside of company. I had to train that person in. He left after 6 months, then he asked to come back two months later. Only to leave again 6 months later. My father in law died, was a very sad time for me and was not in a good place for a while after. New boss came in explained that the work that i did, he acknowledged it and said a bonus and pay rise was well deserved, Got my bonus but no pay rise, kept chasing and after a few months went to HR, they knew nothing about it even though he told me he had. Had a huge row with him as he had been caught lying. He then proceeded to move me to another role( was too exhausted to argue) with a person i though was my friend. Trained the person who took over my job, she was a know it all and proceeded to throw my 3 years hard work down the drain. The team i was on who i though was my friend turned to be a bully, She would go to meetings tell me last minute and proceeded to walk ahead of me as if i smelled or anything, tell me things were my job but reply to mails that i should reply to as soon as they come into the joint mailbox from her and take all the praise for her quick actions. Went home after a bad day one day, worked through my finances with himself and we worked it out could afford to survive without my pay for a while so next day handed in my notice. Had to work 3 months notice but did sweet F all. Spent two months at home ( which i needed) the temped a bit and now in a permanent job for a far nicer company and a lot more money than before. Best thing i ever did

Mine's a bit different. I wanted to break into a particular industry and I got a job for a smaller operator who hadn't been going that long. The owner was a nice guy but was still learning how to be the boss.

My predecessor had been paid about 50% more than I started on; I knew this and realised she was overpaid by industry standards. The reason was that they had a well-worn Punch and Judy routine. He would get stressed and blow up, she would cry, and would be rewarded with the afternoon off and a pay rise. As I said, he didn't quite know how to manage people.

After a year in post I asked for a raise. It took him a month to make his mind up and during that period, one of our suppliers let us down and we had to hurriedly purchase a more expensive alternative. I got yelled at for failing to keep costs down and told if you want a pay rise, you have to earn it.

I knew then that I wouldn't stay much longer. It was the old story - I went on to a bigger competitor and he ended up having to replace me with someone with less experience on a higher salary ... the interview process, conducted by his wife, included the question "How would you deal with being shouted at when it isn't your fault?".

@Jobseeker19

I was in a very toxic work environment.

I worked in a private nursery and the room leaders were incompetent and would join the rooms up and then leave to sit at the desk printing stuff out or just doing fake tasks.
The rest of the staff would have to juggle 3 different age groups joined up.
They were really sly as they would come back to help with lunch duties or when the manager was around but then leave again.

I had a break down at work when a baby fell and banged her head and they turned their backs so they wouldn't have to write the report and phone her mum. I wasnt even near the child but had to run to her and be the reporting staff member.

My manager left and one of the lazy room leaders took her place. Everyone knew she use to shirk the job so she would let the other room leaders get away with stuff.
When things started coming down on her head she would email us emails everyday even on weekends off loading her anxiety and making us feel like shit.

She would talk about her mental health and how we should look after ourselves but she was the one creating mental health issues for the team.

I handed my notice in before I even had another job and now I work for a nursery agency and cannot believe what I used to put up with. Now I feel appreciated and worth something and I've been to about 10 different nurseries and seen how they should be run.

Please tell me you reported the nursery???

Not one particular moment, but constant criticism. I send an email and she replies to all saying the same thing and a second email to me on why my email was bad. I say something in a meeting and she repeats immediately, slightly differently. She tells me to do something with no guidance and then I do it in a way that is not approved. I have worked in the same industry for 10years, so don't believe I suddenly forgot how to do everything. It just wears you down.

Current line manager is about to send me over the edge with her classic micromanagement.

She expects to be copied in on virtually every email to anyone the same level as her or above; goes through her teams diary and watches them like a hawk in terms of what their plans are for the day (the organisation culture is NOT like this AT ALL, it's very supportive and flexible and pro-wellbeing). She tells you in minute detail how you should approach things, almost to the point of what you should write in an email. Shes a control freak and can't let go. She'll criticise a minute error/omission on a report etc when it's taken a lot of time and effort from the team member - which gets glossed over.

She has loads of plus points as a result - she always makes time for her team, gives clear direction, is very knowledgeable and I have learned LOADS from her. It's a shame really as I actually like her as a person but the micromanagement is so suffocating it is anxiety inducing. She doesn't realise she's doing it, she thinks it's her demonstrating high standards etc. it's sad really as she lets herself down with it. I'm not sure she knows how to change.

He said a few things about women (eg they’re all stupid), or would make blanket statements about people being guilty (was a solicitor).

The main one for me was refusing to give me a pay rise twice and saying if he did my colleague would want one then offered one when I actually did leave.

Wish I hadn’t wasted 5 years there!

"So your just going to go home are you?"
At 7pm when I was supposed to finish at 3pm after I had worked 23 days with no day off and worked days and days worth of unpaid overtime because they hadn't replaced staff who had left and just expected the same amount if work to get done.

To be fair it didn't make me want to quit it made me actually quit.

I interned for an MP when I was at university, he was rude, abusive when drunk (frequently), I thought he might punch me at one point, sexually inappropriate to all the young female interns and called me a cunt, so that was quite the delight and a wonderful introduction to the world of work .

@Stnoop

I interned for an MP when I was at university, he was rude, abusive when drunk (frequently), I thought he might punch me at one point, sexually inappropriate to all the young female interns and called me a cunt, so that was quite the delight and a wonderful introduction to the world of work .

Wow. Are they still an MP? Can you at least tell us his Party?

@ForsythiaInBloom not an MP anymore, this was ten yearsish ago. They were Labour before they got suspended from the party.

The thing that made me, if not quit, then immediately start looking for another job was when the day after 9/11 my boss coldly stated that it was karma for America and it was nice to see dead Americans for a change. I knew that I couldn't be around someone so inhuman.

I had been acting up in a dream job type role. When the time came to make it permanent, they screwed me out of it to give it to a personal friend. I had been good at it and devoted my life to it, really. It wasn't a 9-5. There had not been a single query about my abilities in nearly a year.

To cover what they'd done they had to call me in and tell my interview had been terrible and my work was 'immature' in style. Also, they had hidden from me my entitlement to an acting up wage, and when I found out about this they said it wasn't a thing and people would do the job for free. I took voluntary the next time it was offered.

Ruined my confidence and career for years and it still gives me the rage. I sometimes see that boss at events and still can't look at him.

[quote Stnoop]@ForsythiaInBloom not an MP anymore, this was ten yearsish ago. They were Labour before they got suspended from the party.[/quote]
I’m sorry you had to go through that. And glad to know he’s not able to be abusive to any more interns.

Accidentally sent me a couple of WhatsApp messages intended for my colleague. She was bitching about me in a particularly venomous and unpleasant way. It took her 10 days to speak to me about it.

It was 11 months ago and I still struggle to go to work and face her.

@Sundancerintherain

God, I could write a book on mine. But the FINAL straw was when she had been signed off for 3 months and I had covered the vast majority of her work, working an extra 2days over my contract ( unpaid but promised time off in leu). On her return there was a catch up meeting with big boss who starts by saying that he would like to thank me for all my hard work..... She stood up, slammed her hands on his desk and screeched that she was not thanking me for anything, she knows the rest of the team did the work ( they certainly didn't, they massively took the piss and all of them came and went as they felt like, leaving me in the shit and having to cover). The thing is, big boss had introduced monitoring and not only had stamps of who completed which projects and when ,also on the main one we had worked together in his office as he took me onto the project as his direct report. I just stood up and said to him I told you she would react like this to which she shouted, you are an Irish thick bitch. Yup, I told him then and there that I was resigning.

What did the big boss say about her outburst?

Another boss when I worked in HR. A manager rang up to ask for advice on compassionate leave - an employee's daughter had died while giving birth to a stillborn baby. I was only a week in the job, and asked my boss for advice (after expressing my shock and condolences at what had happened). Boss refused any compassionate leave, as company policy didn't include grandchildren "especially not stillborn grandchildren", and according to her, death of a child only applied to a child under 18.
She made me ring the manager and tell her this. I told the manager how sorry and disgusted I was by what I was having to tell her. Manager asked to speak to my boss, who refused. The whole episode was sickening. The woman was an absolute sociopathic nightmare.

@Stnoop pretty obvious who you're talking about!

Got me to flush the toilet for her once because she was on the phone.

Humiliated me regularly with the way she'd speak to me, or the things she did.

Burped loudly in the office and blamed it on me, which she found hilarious.

Never defended me from inappropriate behaviour from colleagues, despite me regularly defending her behaviour to colleagues.

Told me I had a face like a slapped arse.

Reported racism towards me - did nothing.

When I handed my notice in she said 'I'm glad you came to that conclusion on your own'.

@lhirault

Another boss when I worked in HR. A manager rang up to ask for advice on compassionate leave - an employee's daughter had died while giving birth to a stillborn baby. I was only a week in the job, and asked my boss for advice (after expressing my shock and condolences at what had happened). Boss refused any compassionate leave, as company policy didn't include grandchildren "especially not stillborn grandchildren", and according to her, death of a child only applied to a child under 18. She made me ring the manager and tell her this. I told the manager how sorry and disgusted I was by what I was having to tell her. Manager asked to speak to my boss, who refused. The whole episode was sickening. The woman was an absolute sociopathic nightmare.

That's absolutely shocking! How awful for you and all involved.