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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New recruit pregnant before job starting

536 replies

FlimFlamJimJams · 04/01/2022 16:24

I've started a new business, it'll open to the public around April time.
It's a very small, community focused business with only 4 staff members initially.
I recruited all the staff within the last few weeks and are finalising contracts. Everyone has formal job offers, no one yet has a job contract.

The roles require training on the job resulting in a nationally recognised qualification, probably achieved within 12 months or so. The business is paying for this.

I have had meetings with everyone individually this week to go through bits and bobs, start dates etc - and at the end of a meeting with one lady yesterday, she tells me that she's 12 weeks pregnant and anticipates starting her Maternity leave around mid-July. She said she found out at 5 weeks - so she'd have known she was pregnant at interview.

I'm now stuck in a difficult position - the business is already going to struggle financially for the first few years (it's not quite a non-profit, but it's close) and I'm now facing having to extend someone's training at least 6 months past everyone else's as well as find temporary cover, which is expensive. She may well choose not to return after her maternity. I turned down other applicants who applied after her job offer was made.

I guess there isn't a AIBU, because I'm not going to do anything, but I feel really deceived and a bit stressed about the whole thing.
I know everyone is entitled to get pregnant etc. But I wasn't anticipating someone going on ML before they'd even qualified, or finished their probation.

OP posts:
Pugroll · 04/01/2022 21:41

I hope women are making a mental note from threads like these to never, ever bother working for a small business.

TractorAndHeadphones · 04/01/2022 21:43

Also @notanothertakeaway sorry if I was responding to the wrong point. Of course we should enforce paternity leave as well, and it's ridiculous to just 'not hire' women of childbearing age as the solution. that would mean excluding 50% of the population for jobs.

However I was just referring to the 'costs of running a business' and that mathematically staff absences in a smaller business have a greater impact than in larger firms.

BoodleBug51 · 04/01/2022 21:44

Yes, what dreadful people trying to make a living and keep a roof over their families heads instead of running a charity Hmm

Porcupineintherough · 04/01/2022 21:52

@BoodleBug51

Yes, what dreadful people trying to make a living and keep a roof over their families heads instead of running a charity Hmm
Bullshit. All you are doing is undercutting decent businesses that make proper provision for their workers. If you cant follow the law then best you shut up shop. Charities employ and pay their staff in accordance with the law, just like other businesses btw.

@RoomOfRequirement yeah, you were right. Pity.

LittleRoundRobin · 04/01/2022 21:54

@BoredZelda

Isn’t it remarkable haw many times this appears to happen, and yet I’ve only ever read about it on Mumsnet.
Yeah this. ^ Now you come to mention it, I have never EVER witnessed, or known of a woman apply for a job when she knows she's pregnant. It's VERY strange. Most women would already be in employment surely... And/or be in a relationship, and have a man to help support them...

If neither of the above 2 scenarios are relevant, then why is she having a baby? With no partner and no job... ?

All a bit academic though, because as @BoredZelda said, this doesn't seem to happen in real life.

LittleRoundRobin · 04/01/2022 21:56

And if she is already IN employment, then why not stay there and use THEM for your maternity leave? To do it to a new employer is very poor form.

ThymeTravel · 04/01/2022 21:57

@RoomOfRequirement

Joy. Another of these disgusting threads for people to come and spew their misogyny in.

She's 12 weeks. Your business is not ready if it cannot support this. What if she were only 8 now? Or got pregnant next week? Were you going to have a ban on women having lives outside of your company for the first year?

What a strange comment to make.....

The OP has to look after herself at the end of the day. It's not personal!

DolphinFC · 04/01/2022 22:00

@Pugroll

I hope women are making a mental note from threads like these to never, ever bother working for a small business.
I hope small businesses are making a mental note to never, ever employ women.

Stalemate.

Pugroll · 04/01/2022 22:05

i hope small businesses are making a mental note to never, ever employ women.

Me too, sounds good. I would rather work somewhere that can offer better benefits, why anyone would chose to work for a company that would struggle if you were off be it sick or on mat leave is baffling.

ShirleyPhallus · 04/01/2022 22:06

Yeah this. ^ Now you come to mention it, I have never EVER witnessed, or known of a woman apply for a job when she knows she's pregnant. It's VERY strange. Most women would already be in employment surely... And/or be in a relationship, and have a man to help support them...

If neither of the above 2 scenarios are relevant, then why is she having a baby? With no partner and no job... ?

@LittleRoundRobin unfortunately many women get made redundant while pregnant. You cannot be suggesting though that if a woman has a partner to support her, she just doesn’t apply for jobs while pregnant and lets the man pay for her, just to avoid a perfectly legal situation of starting a role pregnant?

SofiaMichElf · 04/01/2022 22:09

@BoodleBug51

Yes, what dreadful people trying to make a living and keep a roof over their families heads instead of running a charity Hmm
Employers and landlords are utter scum according to the vocal majority of MNers.

Fortunately the real world is different.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 04/01/2022 22:18

This is why so many businesses don't want to employ women of child-bearing age. It is never discussed openly, but that's why - because people take the piss

Sadly this is true; I don't say it's right, but it's true nonetheless

Of course we should enforce paternity leave as well, and it's ridiculous to just 'not hire' women of childbearing age as the solution. that would mean excluding 50% of the population for jobs

Not sure how we'd enforce paternity leave when too many men aren't interested because they regard it as "womens' work", and I think you'll find women of childbearing age don't actually make up 50% of the population

Overall, though, I can't believe some have suggested this doesn't happen in real life ... do they imagine all these employers it's happened to are making it up?

LessTime · 04/01/2022 22:33

Bit weird not saying you arent in the UK in your OP. What the legal situation in your country. Why can’t you say which country. It’s not going to make the thread anymore or less outing.

What about trying to pay her off?

user456727821 · 04/01/2022 22:34

The person in question is 18 years old, please cut her some slack. She probably thought the job would be a good option for her since training would be provided and she has the right to apply for the job. But I understand the OP’s side of it too

LittleRoundRobin · 04/01/2022 22:35

@Puzzledandpissedoff

I can't believe some have suggested this doesn't happen in real life ... do they imagine all these employers it's happened to are making it up?

I am just saying - like the other poster - I have never KNOWN it happen in real life. Then again, lots of things on mumsnet don't seem to happen in real life (in my experience, and that of some others on here.) I guess it does happen... as not everyone can be making it up I suppose. I have just never - in my entire 53 years of life - known a woman apply for a job whilst she is pregnant and even worse, not tell the prospective employer!

This is why so many businesses don't want to employ women of child-bearing age. It is never discussed openly, but that's why - because people take the piss.

This in spades. They may not realise this, but the 'wimminz are ENTITLED' brigade are setting women back a century. This is a prime example of 'just because you CAN do something, that doesn't mean you SHOULD...'^ Applying for a job whilst pregnant and not telling your prospective employer is just deceitful and shady. And, (as a few others have said) it makes things worse and worse for women in the workplace to be taken seriously, and to climb up the career ladder.

IMO, there should be no such thing as maternity leave until the woman has worked at the place for 3 years.

Starcaller · 04/01/2022 22:39

I'm a woman who applied and got a job while pregnant. No shame here! It was a perfect fit for me, I'm great at it, and they'll be glad to have me back after my six months off. They weren't fazed when I told them, about 8 weeks after I started. My boss has actually been v excited and talking about her own pregnancies Grin
It is a bigger company where my absence will be easy to cover, though.

But as to a PP's comment as to why someone would apply for a new job while pregnant, the timing was right, it was an excellent opportunity that doesn't come up much, and I just really wanted to do it. Simple as that, really. I'll hopefully be working there for a long time, so maternity leave won't be that long in the grand scheme of things.

mydogisthebest · 04/01/2022 23:02

@ShirleyPhallus half the population DO NOT need to keep having babies. The world is very badly overpopulated and people should use their brains and have less or even none

This woman is 18 so could very well go on to have goodness knows how many more. One of my neighbours had her first at 18 and is now expecting her 5th!

cabsavpls · 04/01/2022 23:12

I'd delay her start date until next year, that way she'll still have an offer of employment which she may decide to turn down anyway

Drunkpanda · 04/01/2022 23:59

Applying for a job whilst pregnant and not telling your prospective employer is just deceitful and shady
No it's not. HTH

strivingtosucceed · 04/01/2022 23:59

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this OP and for the nasty comments from people that don't seem to realise that small businesses simply don't have the depth to absorb business shock like large businesses do.

It's so easy to say don't start a business if you can't prepare for all eventualities but businesses are really hard to start and even harder to keep going. Would it be better for there to be no business at all or a business that can support a few workers that are actually present?

If possible I would hire the second person that you would have hired and make that your main person. If your pregnant lady comes back after maternity you can see if you have work for her, if you don't you can make her redundant. I think that's fair and a way to make sure that the business survives.

PinkTonic · 05/01/2022 00:33

@BoredZelda

Isn’t it remarkable haw many times this appears to happen, and yet I’ve only ever read about it on Mumsnet.
It happened to me with a new hire once. She scraped through her probation by the skin of her teeth, immediately told me she was pregnant and promptly went off sick for the duration. I couldn’t cover her until we put her on mat leave as she had weekly sick notes and I had to pay her bonus as it was team not personal. Not ideal.
sweetbellyhigh · 05/01/2022 04:06

@LittleRoundRobin

And if she is already IN employment, then why not stay there and use THEM for your maternity leave? To do it to a new employer is very poor form.
It really isn't. Pregnancy is not a disease.

So long as this attitude to women and children is tolerated, we cannot progress as a society. Thankfully there are laws in place to protect workers from the likes of you.

DolphinFC · 05/01/2022 06:05

Do those laws work?

Abigail12345654321 · 05/01/2022 06:12

@TractorAndHeadphones

Also *@notanothertakeaway* sorry if I was responding to the wrong point. Of course we should enforce paternity leave as well, and it's ridiculous to just 'not hire' women of childbearing age as the solution. that would mean excluding 50% of the population for jobs.

However I was just referring to the 'costs of running a business' and that mathematically staff absences in a smaller business have a greater impact than in larger firms.

So women over 45 don’t exist in your workforce?
Abigail12345654321 · 05/01/2022 06:27

@sweetbellyhigh
As long as families behave as if the world must revolve around their needs, economic stability will be impossible for business startups. An 18 year old, most likely applying for their first job, is taking the proverbial by applying to a well paid startup role while pregnant. They most likely have paid zero into the system if never employed before but expect full maternity payment funded by actual taxpayers and special (costly) treatment from their employer to extend their training.

That is a highly entitled attitude that does families no good at all.

Though this thread has made me value older staff. So on the up side, parents are doing wonders in encouraging employers not to discriminate against older staff! Keep up the good work!