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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU re nappy changing

85 replies

Mushrooms0up · 04/01/2022 15:16

I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable and I don’t have kids so I could well be!

Over Xmas at in-laws and 3 year old niece needs her nappy changed. SIL did it in front of everyone in the living room at PILs house.

Ok for a tiny baby but for a 3 year old? It stunk! AIBU to say she should have gone to the bathroom?

OP posts:
Gooseysgirl · 04/01/2022 21:11

When my kids were little and I was at someone else's house I would simply say: 'I need to change DC's nappy, where would you prefer me to do this?' MIL was great and always had spare room ready with wipes and changing mat, DM the same. In a million years I wouldn't change DC on the floor of a living room like that - gross!!! And definitely not without at least asking first! YANBU

LowlandLucky · 04/01/2022 21:35

Tootooot I am certainly not a perfect parent, nobody is. I just find it strange that up until the mid 90s most children were dry by their 3rd birthday if not the couldn't go to playgroup so Mums made sure training was done. Childrens bodies haven't changed so what has ?

Ireallycantthinkofagoodone · 05/01/2022 02:05

@RuggerHug
She hadn’t started to change the baby - just said that she was going to.
In any case, the things that you choose to do in your own home aren’t necessarily what you should expect to do elsewhere.
She and my son split up years ago, and it would appear that she made a habit of upsetting people. She was very domineering!

fattymumbum · 05/01/2022 02:14

What's grim about poo? It is just poo after all, and we all do it. I wouldn't be taking them to the bathroom, I've never found enough room.

Ireallycantthinkofagoodone · 05/01/2022 02:29

@LowlandLucky

Tootooot I am certainly not a perfect parent, nobody is. I just find it strange that up until the mid 90s most children were dry by their 3rd birthday if not the couldn't go to playgroup so Mums made sure training was done. Childrens bodies haven't changed so what has ?
You are correct there! My children started playgroup in the 70’s at 3 years old, and were all toilet trained around 2. They would not have been able to attend in nappies. I think one difference in earlier toilet training was terry nappies. I am sure lots of mums may still use these, but the majority probably use disposables. These don’t create the work that washable nappies do, so the incentive to toilet train may not be the same. Also, a wet terry nappy was probably very uncomfortable, whereas today’s disposables keep bottoms dry. This is obviously much better for their skin, but possibly makes it more difficult to progress into normal underwear.
Flickflak · 05/01/2022 03:36

This reply has been withdrawn

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Flickflak · 05/01/2022 03:38

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Ellowyn · 05/01/2022 04:03

I can't believe a three year old still shits his pants and his mother wants to show everyone. Nasty.

shamalidacdak · 05/01/2022 04:07

First of all why is a three year old still in Nappies?

DropYourSword · 05/01/2022 04:55

It’s their house!!
Wouldn’t bother me.

Catflapkitkat · 05/01/2022 06:37

I had twins and never once changed them in the living room and definitely NOT in front of people. That is rank

DropYourSword · 05/01/2022 06:39

Sorry, I misread! Thought it was their house. It wasn’t. In which case yes, they absolutely should have done it elsewhere!

UpDownRound · 05/01/2022 06:55

@GalacticGoddess

What do you class as a tiny baby? I would change DD16ms in the living room at my parents or at my in laws. If my DD is still in nappies at this age I probably would ask if she wanted to go to the toilet or stay put and be changed in the room - as it's family and none of us are precious about things like that....although I would hope by 2.5years or so she is toilet trained. The only time I wouldn't change her in from of others is for less close friends or those without kids (and therefore not used to it maybe) or people I don't know well/wider family.

Also, comment above about children still being in nappies by 3 being grim is unfair for those children with SEND or incontinence/anxiety issues.

I think you're underestimating how big and smelly a 3 year olds poos can be! I've no issues with my daughter being naked etc around family but her poos can be bigger than mine - I wouldn't bring my own poo into the lounge.
appleturnovers · 05/01/2022 09:17

@fattymumbum

What's grim about poo? It is just poo after all, and we all do it. I wouldn't be taking them to the bathroom, I've never found enough room.
It stinks and it's full of germs that can make you very, very ill?

The fact that we all do it doesn't make it any less grim.

onedayoranother · 05/01/2022 10:20

In my own home maybe but not in anyone else's. I'd go to the toilet or if not big enough ask to use a bedroom.

x2boys · 05/01/2022 10:29

@LowlandLucky

Tootooot I am certainly not a perfect parent, nobody is. I just find it strange that up until the mid 90s most children were dry by their 3rd birthday if not the couldn't go to playgroup so Mums made sure training was done. Childrens bodies haven't changed so what has ?
Nothing ,I'm a 70,s baby ,children may have been out of nappies earlier ,but I remember young children having an awful lot of " accidents " ,but tbh who cares so what if children are over three before they are out of nappies ,who exactly does this impact?
x2boys · 05/01/2022 10:31

@shamalidacdak

First of all why is a three year old still in Nappies?
Some are 🙄
Namechangehereandnow · 05/01/2022 10:35

@yellowleaves123

Just a word of warning about sharing stories about your children's nappy changes.

Curious, why? Not that I have shared any

Because unsavoury characters get off on this … kids private parts 😖
x2boys · 05/01/2022 10:38

The judgement on here about three year olds being in nappies always confuses me as I recall I started toilet training my now fifteen year old when he was about 2 and a half ,it clicked when he was three years and two months ,who cares it has never once been mentioned since ,maybe his friends were dry a few months before him or maybe a few months after him in the great scheme of things does it matter ?

mollypuss1 · 05/01/2022 10:44

@x2boys

The judgement on here about three year olds being in nappies always confuses me as I recall I started toilet training my now fifteen year old when he was about 2 and a half ,it clicked when he was three years and two months ,who cares it has never once been mentioned since ,maybe his friends were dry a few months before him or maybe a few months after him in the great scheme of things does it matter ?
It only matters on mumsnet. In the real world no one gives a shit if a kid takes a bit longer than it’s peers for toilet training to click.
RedWingBoots · 05/01/2022 10:44

@fattymumbum

What's grim about poo? It is just poo after all, and we all do it. I wouldn't be taking them to the bathroom, I've never found enough room.
It stinks.

Faeces is unhygienic. There are many diseases associated with human faeces.

This is why you are advised to wash your hands after changing someone including babies. (You are also suppose to wash your hands before as well.)

RedWingBoots · 05/01/2022 10:45

@shamalidacdak

First of all why is a three year old still in Nappies?
Who cares?
LethargicActress · 05/01/2022 10:47

@fattymumbum

What's grim about poo? It is just poo after all, and we all do it. I wouldn't be taking them to the bathroom, I've never found enough room.
It smells bad. Surely you’ve noticed that?
Rosebel · 05/01/2022 10:48

I don't change my son on the bathroom floor because it's cold and hard.
My son is younger though (18 months) but I changed him on the living room floor with a towel, although tbf it was only my mum who was there. Rest of the family were in the dinning room.

Pirrip1868 · 05/01/2022 10:51

I’d have taken them to another room regardless of their age. For one, it’s foul and generally stinks. For two, I know their a baby but I do kind of think they deserve at least some privacy and a bit of dignity, and a nappy change in front of everyone isn’t that (I accept that probably sounds nuts)