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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In blocking and ignoring friend of 20+ years

61 replies

shas19 · 04/01/2022 12:26

We've grown up together since primary school, she was there when my son was born and pretty much speak everyday. Now in 2018 when I was 35 weeks pregnant with my dd, in slow labour and it had snowed heavily where we live it was her sons 2nd birthday. Unfortunately I couldn't make his party, 1st reason being slow labour=very uncomfortable and 2nd would of meant getting a taxi and walking down a big flight of stairs in ice and snow. She went absolutely mental, sending paragraphs and voice notes about how much of a bad friend I am and said some nasty stuff. She was in a bad relationship at the time and I basically spent everyday with her, bought her food shopping and nappies when she had no money, looked after her son etc, stuff that a friend does to help. We didn't speak for around 3months. Got back talking and everything was okay. She's since had two other children and moved around 40mins away we speak on the phone almost daily, I call her. I've been up to visit and whenever she visits her family local to me I go round to see her and so the kids can play, she doesn't come to my house. I'm now currently 38 weeks pregnant and it hasn't been an easy pregnancy and we've kept alot of stuff quiet, and I'm not one for sharing everything on social media, she is. Here's is the new issue she has, I didn't send a happy new year text or go on fb to wish it... neither did she to me. It makes me cringe writing that this is what she's absolutely gone off her rocker about. I'm not one for big Facebook status gushing about friends, family and all that but she's the complete opposite and posts everhthing. She messaged saying 'happy new year to you to!' At the time she messaged I was in hospital for high blood pressure so just ignored and would of dealt with it later. No she had other ideas and in comes a barrage of abuse telling to to delete her fucking number, I'm a shit friend, I'm ignoring her, she's sick of my shit...you get the drift. I simply replied I'm in hospital will talk about later. Not good enough for her, the screaming voice notes start and everything is about how hard done by she is because I didn't bother to send a message, and that she hasn't heard from me. Then the icing on the cake was that I was lying about being in hospital because I didn't let her know I was there and how dare I not tell her. I told her she's ridiculous and you can't argue with an idiot so I simply blocked her. She's took to deleting me off of all social media, how will I survive🙄. She apparently suffers with 'split personality disorder and severe depression' but alot of stuff she says about being diagnosed doesn't add up but whatever not my business, but whenever she has these outbursts she blames her mental health. If you've got this far well done, I'm tired writing about this nonsense! I just feel like I have to complete wash my hands now of it as it feels like she lives for an argument, not just with me but absolutely everyone and its draining me.

OP posts:
Babyvenusplant · 04/01/2022 12:29

Run for hills! You'll be so much happier with her out of your life

gettingolderandgrumpy · 04/01/2022 12:53

I wouldn’t worry if she’s blocked you , block her too and just keep away . Mental health or not she needs to take a breath before she reacts like this . Yanbu to not update her every detail of your life .

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 04/01/2022 12:54

This cannot be good for high blood pressure. There is no excuse for this behaviour. Do what is best for the health of both you and your baby and get a supportive relative to keep her at bay. Good luck.

MerryChristmas21 · 04/01/2022 13:01

I'm so sorry, it's hard when long standing friends turn into complete loons.

It sounds like she's been using you & expecting you to do all the running, for a long time.

I think you'd be better off without her in your life - but how do YOU feel about that?

YANBU to block her if YOU think you'll be better off without all the drama she brings.

How are you feeling (health wise) now??

PineappleVision · 04/01/2022 13:01

Block and don’t look back. You don’t need this and neither do your DC. She won’t change.

phishy · 04/01/2022 13:16

She's clearly very used to you running around after her.

You gave her all the support with food shopping and childcare, what help did she give you?

People like her expect and expect and give very little back.

So glad you've blocked her, but she will be back. You need to ensure you're not sucked back in.

BlueSuffragette · 04/01/2022 13:21

Wow OP. You really don't need all of this nonsense from her. Just call it to an end and move on without her. Good luck with your baby xx

TeaSoakedDisasterMagnet · 04/01/2022 13:23

Well she’s blocked you so at least you’ll get some peace. Move on and try to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and your new baby, and then have a happy, less complicated life without her.

IncompleteSenten · 04/01/2022 13:29

Yup. You've done the right thing.
She's batcrap crazy.

AryaStarkWolf · 04/01/2022 13:31

Seems like you were always the one running around after her and she wouldn't even call to you when you're heavily pregnant, enjoy being blocked and don't look back.

SarahBop · 04/01/2022 13:32

Honestly, I don't think she was ever much of a friend..it sounds like she's always used you for her benefit.
You stated you bought her food shopping and nappies "like a friend does to help" but I actually think she just expects you to be at her beck and call - None of my friends expect me to carry them through their adult life!
She sounds like a spiteful, jealous, cow and I think you need - and are entitled to - some space.

mumofmunchkin · 04/01/2022 13:33

Erm.. She went batshit because you wouldn't attend her son's party while you were in labour? (early/latent labour doesn't make any difference imo, I spent 3 days in early labour with my first and nothing would have induced me to leave the house) That says just about everything. Yanbu.

KaptainKaveman · 04/01/2022 13:33

You both sound as if you are 12.

Waspsarearseholes · 04/01/2022 13:43

Try to put her to the back of your mind. You've got your hands full with your imminent arrival and you don't need this toxicity in your life. She'll learn one day that if she treats people so awfully they won't want to have anything to do with her. Keep her blocked - it's not up to her to decide if she contacts you or not. Best of luck with everything!

Bonbon21 · 04/01/2022 13:46

Life is too short.
Block and move on.

misskatamari · 04/01/2022 13:50

ugh, she sounds absolutely insufferable. Keep her blocked, and keep her out of your life. You do not need that shit!

Beautiful3 · 04/01/2022 13:58

She's being abusive towards you. Her children will grow up mimicking her behaviour towards your children. Block and forget her. She's no good for you.nor tour children.

Lalliella · 04/01/2022 14:09

@KaptainKaveman

You both sound as if you are 12.
Did you actually read what OP wrote @KaptainKaveman? What on earth could possibly lead you to think OP sounds 12? What a mean and spiteful thing to write.

OP you are definitely better off without her. She sounds very selfish and everything has to be all about her. You’ve been a good friend to her, but is she ever a good friend to you? Dump and move on.

Hope you’re ok, and good luck with the baby.

BingBongToTheMoon · 04/01/2022 14:17

Nah…done. Block everywhere so when she unblocks you in a few weeks she might realise she’s a cow!
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. You’ve done/ are doing NOTHING wrong.

strawberrymilk7 · 04/01/2022 14:20

She sounds like far too much work! Onwards and upwards without her. You'll be very busy in two weeks with a new baby so won't even have time to think about her.

Meraas · 04/01/2022 14:22

@KaptainKaveman

You both sound as if you are 12.
You can’t even spell captain or cave man 🤷🏻‍♀️
IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 04/01/2022 14:28

She’s a pathetic attention seeking user.It always has to be about her.
Poor mental health doesn’t usually make you a bitch,she is just a bitch who uses the mental health card when called out.
Do not get back in contact and ignore when she does,as she will when she realises someone who use to run round after her is not there anymore.

Glitterblue · 04/01/2022 14:29

This sounds so like a situation I was in very recently- I would tell you about it but the person involved has been known to read on here. It's so similar though. I kept trying to keep rather friendship every time she went off on one, but the last time, she ended it, and my life has been so much calmer since. Weirdly I do sometimes miss her, but its so much less stressful without her.

ClawedButler · 04/01/2022 14:38

Crikey, with friends like that who needs enemies!

CantGetDecentNickname · 04/01/2022 15:13

Sounds like you have just stayed friends with her as you have known each other for so long and it is a sort of habit. I'd let her go permanently now as she could be damaging for your health especially with a new baby to cope with. Put your family first and just ignore her and her selfish behaviour. Keep her blocked.

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