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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask nursery keyworker to babysit?

99 replies

Lindor2828 · 04/01/2022 11:17

Or would this be inappropriate? We are looking for a regular babysitter, someone who is familiar to us and DS for the occasional evening so we can resume date nights etc. We really like his keyworker and they have a close bond so I was wondering if it would be appropriate to ask at pickup whether she would be interested in babysitting for us - has anyone else done this? Not sure if it's the done thing or not!

OP posts:

FrancescaContini · 04/01/2022 11:20

Sorry but totally inappropriate. The key worker has to retain a professional relationship wrt your son. Please don’t even ask - you’d be putting this person in a really awkward position.

Tee20x · 04/01/2022 11:21

I'm sure at some nurseries you're not even allowed to do this

olderthanilookapparently · 04/01/2022 11:23

I used to do this with my nursery - but I went through the manager so everyone knew what was going on

But yes nursery were our babysitters for some years (expensive as they are qualified but the kids knew them so it made it really easy)

SarahWoodruff · 04/01/2022 11:24

Not officially allowed at the nursery we used but definitely very common. As an alternative you could ask the key worker if s/he has any friends who are DBS-checked and could assist?

SockQueen · 04/01/2022 11:24

Your nursery will have a policy on this. Ours allows it but with certain restrictions, though I've never done it myself. Ask the nursery before you ask the keyworker. Why would it be inappropriate? They are presumably a qualified childcare worker, being asked to take on more...childcare work, albeit in another setting. The worst they can say is no.

FurryGiraffe · 04/01/2022 11:24

Why is it inappropriate? When my DSs were at nursery it was very common for nursery nurses to do some babysitting. We had several babysit for us over the years. Nursery knew and were absolutely fine with it.

mumofmunchkin · 04/01/2022 11:25

We've done it. You can only ask

user1471523870 · 04/01/2022 11:25

When my little one joined (in baby room, now he's over 3) I discretely asked his key worker if the nursery would provide a list of reliable baby sitters. In return she said most of the stuff regularly babysat children attending the nursery and she was more than happy to do it for us. She's been our only and regular babysitter since.
We are happy as she knows our son very well and she's used to his behaviours, eating habits, allergies etc, plus he's super happy to stay with her in our own house. And she's happy to babysit someone she knows well and get some extra income.
We always carried on the conversation privately as I don't think the nursery encourages it. But it's widely tolerated.

PinkWaferBiscuit · 04/01/2022 11:25

I would ask the manager what the nursery policy is. It's not at all unreasonable or even unusual, lots of nursery staff do this.

Mysterian · 04/01/2022 11:26

Ask management if it's allowed. Usually is. Then ask keyworker without putting any pressure on to say yes. Accept any excuse he makes for not wanting to do it.

pinkgin85 · 04/01/2022 11:26

This was allowed at our rates Excellent nursery a few years ago. I'm not sure if it's allowed now but I would assume it is. The nursery manager was okay with it and his key worker was happy and DS was happy to be left with her, and so we were happy too!

Yuckypretty · 04/01/2022 11:26

Just ask. I think it's a great way to find someone you trust. you know they are trained, DBS checked, already know your child.

BlusteryLake · 04/01/2022 11:26

At our nursery, all the staff used to babysit the nursery children. There was a set rate so there was no ambiguity or discrepancy between families.

thingymaboob · 04/01/2022 11:26

Our nursery have staff who babysit. Not a problem at all.

NiceTwin · 04/01/2022 11:26

My dd works in a nursery and acts as a babysitter for one family.
The little boy is non verbal and autistic and my dd is one of the very few people he is comfortable with. The nursery manager is aware of the arrangement.

Maybe ask the manager first if it is okay to approach the key worker.

Penguinsmum · 04/01/2022 11:27

We did it. The nursery allowed it and my son's key worker was very happy to get the extra money. She charged £10 per hour.

Beamur · 04/01/2022 11:27

It's a few years ago now, but several of the staff at DD's nursery were available for babysitting. Experienced, DBS checked staff whom the kids probably knew - why would that be inappropriate?

cultkid · 04/01/2022 11:27

I've used them and I was so relieved to have someone qualified with a proper understanding of my children look after them

Ask management first x

annlee3817 · 04/01/2022 11:27

We did, as far as I'm aware the nursery didn't have an issue with it

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 04/01/2022 11:27

Our nursery positively supported this and wven laid out what charges were so that staff member was well paid, etc. Remained a professional relationship.

furbabymama87 · 04/01/2022 11:28

Where I used to work some staff members did it and the management allowed it as long as something was signed to say it was completely separate from the nursery and that they weren't liable if something went wrong. Staff always wanted at least their hourly wage too. Then the policy was changed so it was no longer allowed but I'm pretty sure some continued to do it but kept quiet about it.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 04/01/2022 11:29

@FrancescaContini

Sorry but totally inappropriate. The key worker has to retain a professional relationship wrt your son. Please don’t even ask - you’d be putting this person in a really awkward position.

I really don’t understand this post.

Original poster

Lindor2828 · 04/01/2022 11:32

Thanks for the responses! Would would absolutely pay her the equivalent or more than what her hourly wage is at the nursery. I'll ask discreetly when I get an opportunity, the worst the can say is no I suppose!

OP posts:

PinkWaferBiscuit · 04/01/2022 11:34

I really don’t understand this post.

Me either, I genuinely can't understand how it could be awkward, inappropriate or not professional.

It's really really common for nursery staff to babysit the children who attend their settings. It's not like your asking your accountant or the person who delivers your weekly food shop. It's really odd anyone would think it was so unreasonable when up and down the country it happens every week.

MerryChristmas21 · 04/01/2022 11:36

It's not at all inappropriate, it's very common.

I would quietly ask the key worker, it's up to them to say yes or no, not the nursery, they're not a piece of equipment owned by the nursery!!

If they have a contract with their employer that forbids it, it's up to them to decide whether to abide by it or not. They're adults and it's awful (IMO) to ask the nursery permission for you to ask an ADULT if they wish to babysit.

Different if you're just asking if they have ANY staff willing to babysit.

Plus the nursery can GF 'setting a rate'. It's OHO, the adukts involved get to set a rate they're happy with. Jack shit to do with the nursery.

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