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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask nursery keyworker to babysit?

99 replies

Lindor2828 · 04/01/2022 11:17

Or would this be inappropriate? We are looking for a regular babysitter, someone who is familiar to us and DS for the occasional evening so we can resume date nights etc. We really like his keyworker and they have a close bond so I was wondering if it would be appropriate to ask at pickup whether she would be interested in babysitting for us - has anyone else done this? Not sure if it's the done thing or not!

OP posts:
Jobseeker19 · 04/01/2022 11:37

You should pay them above what they make and provide a lift home or pay for a taxi.
I work in a nursery and have colleagues who babysit and that's what is expected from the parents.
They also charge time and a half if there is another child.

thetaleunfolds · 04/01/2022 11:37

My son's keyworker does occasion babysitting for families and has passed her details to me so I can contact her when I need childcare. The nursery are aware and happy for this

She's known to him, she has all the background checks and I know she's trustworthy and reliable, plus she knows who she's working for. She cannot make it a regular job (ie. only ad-hoc babysitting rather than part time nannying) but it works well all around

I know some nurseries don't allow it but if they do and it's done right go for it

Rainbowbrite2022 · 04/01/2022 11:37

I did this 20 years ago when I was a nursery nurse earning shit money. It’s still a professional relationship. I was still providing a service not going out getting pissed with them.

lemonyfox · 04/01/2022 11:39

I had to sign paperwork at my sons nursery agreeing to a policy banning babysitting outside of nursery.

FrancescaContini · 04/01/2022 11:41

It seems really odd to me. I wouldn’t have done this when my DC were small.

To those of you who say it’s normal: why are you saying have a “discrete” or “quiet” word, if it’s so normal?

By extension, would you ask your DC primary school teachers to babysit? If not, what’s the difference?

Jsh125 · 04/01/2022 11:41

We have nursery staff babysit for us as no family nearby. Just had to do it officially via the nursery rather than direct with the member of staff. Mainly just signed to say we understood it was a private arrangement between us & nothing to do with the nursery. Nursery staff get paid so poorly for what they do that this gives them some extra income.

Sugarplumfairy65 · 04/01/2022 11:41

@FrancescaContini

Sorry but totally inappropriate. The key worker has to retain a professional relationship wrt your son. Please don’t even ask - you’d be putting this person in a really awkward position.
Don't be ridiculous. Lots of nursery workers do babysitting after hours. They only get paid minimum wage so most welcome the extra income it can bring in.
Clymene · 04/01/2022 11:44

I would ask the manager. Keep above board. I've never used a nursery where this wasn't allowed and it definitely made for a less stressful babysitting experience

Bid876 · 04/01/2022 11:44

NRTFT

We had my DDs key worker babysit once. It was a special occasion and I was talking about struggling to get someone as all the people I’d usually trust would be at the event. She volunteered but said I’d have to get permission from the nursery owner first. Permission was given on a case by case situation. Both the nursery and key worker were happy for us to have her babysit again if we needed.

EarringsandLipstick · 04/01/2022 11:45

Agreeing with PP, very usual where I am (Ireland) and I did it with all my DC. It was great for both sides.

Regarding payment, we paid standard babysitting rates (€10 per hour at that time, a good few years ago now) and didn't link it to their salary / wage at creche. I don't see why we would - it's not the same role. Of course pay fairly as a babysitter, treat them well, make sure they have snacks & drop home / taxi.

The comparison with primary school teachers isn't the same at all.

PinkWaferBiscuit · 04/01/2022 11:46

By extension, would you ask your DC primary school teachers to babysit? If not, what’s the difference?

I know quite a few teaching assistants who also babysit, especially if they work 1-1 with a child. Again they are on a low wage and many welcome the additional funds.

I don't know any teachers who babysit but thats mostly because they all work in the evenings and their pack packet is higher than that of many nursery staff and TAs.

Beamur · 04/01/2022 11:47

DD was babysat by her Primary school teachers teenage daughters..I live in a small village 😁

DarkCorner · 04/01/2022 11:47

With our nursery we had to sign something saying we wouldn't ask staff to babysit outside the nursery. I can't remember the exact details but they made some really good points about why it wasn't appropriate.

LucyFox · 04/01/2022 11:47

I think you could casually say “I don’t know if it’s appropriate to ask, but do any of the nursery staff offer occasional evening/weekend babysitting services?” That way the key worker May not be able to do it but perhaps a different member of staff would offer. Equally if they say “no we aren’t allowed to do that“ then you know where you stand …

SirChenjins · 04/01/2022 11:47

We did at our DCs nurseries - no inappropriate at all, and certainly didn’t impact on the professional relationship. What an odd thing to claim. IIRC they just let the manager know and it was kept separate from their normal work.

M4857493 · 04/01/2022 11:50

Why would it be inappropriate?

CristinaYangismySpiritAnimal · 04/01/2022 11:50

I used to babysit for 2 families when I was a nursery nurse. Nothing inappropriate about asking at all.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 04/01/2022 11:52

Very common around here, they positively advertise their availability for babysitting and their rates.

dottiedodah · 04/01/2022 11:52

Its very widespread I think .When I was a Nursery School Teacher ,many of the staff would babysit . Just ask discreetly if she would be willing to do this

ShirleyPhallus · 04/01/2022 11:53

I emailed the nursery manager and asked if they had a policy on it or could we ask the nursery staff, the management said many of the staff would be happy to do it and we should approach them directly. DD gets regularly babysat by her key worker

Some weird posts on here, cannot understand why it’s inappropriate?!

LethargicActress · 04/01/2022 11:54

It’s absolutely fine, and completely normal in many areas.

Classicblunder · 04/01/2022 11:59

We have used two nurseries - one didn't allow it and one did.

It's totally fine to ask - I prefer to go through the manager to check which staff are potentially interested

SpinsForGin · 04/01/2022 12:06

This was really common at DSs nursery. They all had a WhatsApp group to share babysitting jobs between them.

It's a great idea. Your child knows them and you know you can trust them.

2pinkginsplease · 04/01/2022 12:08

A couple of girls at my nursery babysit for children in their key group.

BlingLoving · 04/01/2022 12:12

I'm amazed at how many people think this is inappropriate. Some of our best babysitters were from DS' nursery. From memory, I think the nursery policy was simply that if you wanted to do it you had to inform them because I think they had to remind their staff that babysitting was separate/different etc. Certainly, loads of the staff did it and in fact, it was very common for a staff member to then be responsible for taking the child home, giving supper or snack and then bath and bedtime before parents got home, or similarly in the morning.