Thanks @hiredandsqueak. I think I recognise you from times of old.
Boring story is that DD2 went to school 1 in year R. Fell apart in year 1, after class move, physically ill as a result. School HT accused me of FII.
School 2 in year 1. Fell apart in year 2, after class move. They tried nurture groups. Paediatrician saw her and said she was 'passive' but he didn't see ASD. SALT saw her and said she had x,y,z traits of ASD but 'they weren't affecting her'. OT said she scored very low in some areas, but high in others, so overall was average
They tried nurture group but she fell apart when it was withdrawn after 6 weeks (as per policy). So I withdrew her and HE for 1 term.
School 3, year 3. They recognised her ASD traits and managed her accordingly. Did well with support in year 3&4 (mixed year classes). Year 5, she fell apart completely after a class change. School put in huge efforts, using pre-teaching to avoid the startled shutdowns, dictation and scribing, timers to produce a paragraph, etc. They realised she wouldn't pass SATs because she couldn't infer from text, so they taught her inference discretely, i.e., 'jumper means cold'. 110 in English SATs.
Year 7, move to secondary school. DX with ASD. She's had a generic SEN profile, but not much support. Little things like 2 minute early pass, seated near teacher, etc., Won't talk to teachers, won't ask for help, doesn't understand, hates school environment, can't stand being near people, cries for days before term starts.