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Original poster

Can’t sleep ... overheard neighour on phone. !!

109 replies

Highfivemum · 04/01/2022 01:55

Can’t sleep at all. Have lovely neighbours. Man and wife and they have three grown up sons. Really nice and friendly. I go to Pilates with the wife and we share a coffee a few times a week when my DC are at school. The wife works a few evenings a week and tonight I overheard her husband while sorting the Bins outside, He was on his phone to someone I heard him say ...
“ so after 18 years you expect me to tell my three boys they have a sister they know nothing about !! “ He then heard me so went inside.
I am now sitting downstairs and I cannot get it out of my head. They are so nice and I know from talking to the wife she says she would have loved a girl !!
I have put voting but I do not feel I should be saying anything. Should I just forget it. I don’t think i can !! How do I face the Husband as he must know I heard him !!

OP posts:
liveforsummer · 04/01/2022 08:43

@Justkeepon

You can't just pretend you didn't hear this news OP, your part of it now. You need to go round first thing this morning and the three of you need to sit down and discuss where things should go from here. Either you or the husband need to break the news to the wife (probably makes sense that it's you since you're the one losing sleep over it) and then the three of you can decide what to do next.
Wild advice, even by mumsnet standards Shock
Luredbyapomegranate · 04/01/2022 08:45

Of course you shouldn’t say a word.
They won’t know you know - they don’t know you were listening!
Forget it.
And don’t be such a drama queen - it has literally nothing to do with you.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 04/01/2022 08:46

I thought so too. Blush

She's only joking.

Luredbyapomegranate · 04/01/2022 08:47

Justkeepon

You can't just pretend you didn't hear this news OP, your part of it now. You need to go round first thing this morning and the three of you need to sit down and discuss where things should go from here. Either you or the husband need to break the news to the wife (probably makes sense that it's you since you're the one losing sleep over it) and then the three of you can decide what to do next.

THIS IS A JOKE OP I think we need to clarify this Grin

liveforsummer · 04/01/2022 08:47

@GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou

I thought so too. Blush

She's only joking.

Dangerous game to play. 😆
BertramLacey · 04/01/2022 08:49

It’s pretty obvious @Justkeepon is being satcastic.

Well, one would hope so. But the world is a strange place, full of idiots (no offence to Justkeepon).

I'm assuming the sons, being grown-ups, are over 18 or around that age, so if there is a daughter she's from an affair. But it's easy to misunderstand things. And if there is another child, it won't kill your neighbour. Upset her, yes. Turn her world upside down, probably. Kill her? Not unless there's a lot else going on.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 04/01/2022 08:50

'Tis.

Justkeepon · 04/01/2022 08:52

No my advice is solid OP. Don't listen to these fools.
Go wrap the window as soon as you see movement. Call the family meeting. Bring the wheelie bin for evidence.

liveforsummer · 04/01/2022 08:53

There's no indication the child is younger. Sadly it's pretty common for dads to leave original dc behind when they move on to the next partner, or maybe he didn't know about the baby til later. The wife could already know, the daughter could also be the wife's or could be both of theirs. Of course he could have had an affair but it's just as likely one of the other options

CupOfCake · 04/01/2022 08:55

Bring the wheelie bin for evidence.

Best advice I've seen on here!

BertramLacey · 04/01/2022 08:57

My kids have a half sister they don't know about yet. It's not interesting or exciting, it's a shame.

My cousins have a half sister they know about. She's older though and was born in the 60s, when children born 'out of wedlock' were often put up for adoption.

Go wrap the window as soon as you see movement

Good idea. Got to wrap the windows, then no-one can see what's going on inside.

BertramLacey · 04/01/2022 08:59

There's no indication the child is younger.

Neighbours' sons are grown up. Their sister is around 18, presumably. So it would appear she is younger or around the same age.

Runningupthecurtains · 04/01/2022 09:03

[quote jamandmarmaladethesecondcoming]@Highfivemum

This post is very outing given the details and pilates i hope she is not on MN....?[/quote]
Unless of course the neighbours have 2 DDs not 3 DSs and the man said son not daughter on the phone and they go to Zumba together not Pilates.
This is the kind of information I change if I'm talking about someone else.

liveforsummer · 04/01/2022 09:03

I suppose the daughter could be 18 but that's the problem with only hearing one side of a conversation with no other context or knowledge. You can't be sure

VictoryLap · 04/01/2022 09:07

I've got a male friend who had a one night stand which resulted in the woman getting pregnant. She decided to keep the baby (didn't actually tell him, he found out through a mutual friend). Shortly after he met his now wife, told her the story and they jointly decided just to pretend it never happened. They now have kids of their own. He's never met the child, doesn't officially know that he or she exists and pays no maintenance. But wife knows all about it. I'm sure it's all going to unravel at some point.

NdujaWannaDance · 04/01/2022 09:14

How do we know he wasn't on the phone to his wife?

She could be the one with the secret daughter, born before she was with her DH and either put up for adoption or left with her father.

DSGR · 04/01/2022 09:16

It’s none of your business!

Random789 · 04/01/2022 09:21

If this is real, it's really weird and distasteful that you are so wound up in your neighbour's private life that you can't sleep at night -- picking it over like it was a soap opera. Even worse to post a thread about it.

Thewiseoneincognito · 04/01/2022 09:25

I don’t envy you at all. This will be hard. Good luck OP

Original poster
Highfivemum · 04/01/2022 09:30

I will leave the thread as with hindsight I should have not posted. I was just tossing and turning and it was playing on my mind. For info I did change a few details of the thread so it would not ought anyone. That would be the last Thing I would want to do.
Thank you to all the posters who offered words of advice. I will just carry on as normal though I so wish I hadn’t overheard.

OP posts:
RestingMurderousFace · 04/01/2022 09:51

The conversation wasn’t for year ears, keep well out of it.

pictish · 04/01/2022 09:54

Why can’t you sleep? It’s their dilemma, not yours.
Can’t say as this would keep me awake.I wouldn’t care.

pictish · 04/01/2022 09:55

I imagine this scenario pops up among families more often than we realise too.
It’s not an Eastenders cliffhanger.

Tinsellittis · 04/01/2022 09:56

@SuckItup22

Mind your own business.
Why would you think for a moment this has anything to do with you OP?
BertramLacey · 04/01/2022 10:01

Why can’t you sleep? It’s their dilemma, not yours.
Can’t say as this would keep me awake.I wouldn’t care.

Some people compartmentalise less than others. If neighbours who I was also friends with were potentially facing a crisis in their life, I would care about it. I might not lose sleep over it, but I would be a bit concerned. I don't just cut myself from others and think 'oh well, that's their problem'. I might just have a bit of sympathy for them.