I don't feel grown up / mature

[BeachTree]

Does anyone ever feel immature or perhaps not 'grown up' enough for their age? I am 35, I have a good job that I enjoy, a car, own a small property and live alone. I am single and have no children. I suppose in some respects I feel I am not 'grown up' enough for my age.

When I look around at others of a similar age I feel they appear to me as more mature - they speak well - with confidence and a grown up air/attitude, appear 'sorted' or more 'settled' in life, perhaps children and long term relationships adds to my perceived 'maturity' of other people around me. Maybe it all comes boils down to confidence or lack of. I can't quite put a finger on my reasons. Anyone else feel this way? Thank you

Do you have older siblings? Im the "baby" in my family and I think that's why I don't feel grown up

Nah, we're all winging it. Flying by the seat of our pants, as the Americans would say.

I have two kids and am a few years older than you and I still feel like this. Maybe we all do? Maybe it’s just the unconfident amongst us? A wise older lady once told me when I was younger “No one has a fucking clue what they are doing, some people just wing it better than others.”

33, married and have three children and still feel like others are real adults and I'm not. I can't exactly explain why I feel like this either, I just do.

I still feel like this, I'm 39 and have 2 kids, decent job, husband, house, car blah. I think of it as similar to imposters syndrome in a way.

Same here. 30 next week. Have 4 kids and a husband and we run a business and I still feel like I just left school!

I'm in my 40s and have children . My body is middle aged. But in my mind I'm late 20s. I don't really see it as a problem 😅

I was just having this conversation with DH tonight. We are in our 40’s, with a mortgage, DS and good jobs but we still don’t feel like proper grown ups. It still feels weird going into DS’d school and being referred to as a parent.
I feel the same as I did when I was in my 20’s

I'm 40. Feel 25 ish. 3 kids etc. I've been winging it for years. I enjoy more 'grown up' things occasionally like watching the birds in the garden, enjoying a walk with the dog alone, peaceful things. I definitely don't feel 40 though

Everybody, everybody, EVERYBODY is just busking it. You, me, the Dalai Lama , Priti Patel. We all feel like helpless children on some level.
The whole of our economy runs on bolstering ourselves up.
Think about it, if we felt secure why would women spend money on face cream that costs more per gram than gold?
That said, when menopause rolls round you do find that you give a LOT less fucks than you used to.

I’m 57 and think it’s a type of imposter syndrome
Am sure to outsiders I’m a confident career woman
Sometimes I am doing something rather mundane like driving and suddenly have a realisation that yep I’m a grownup and really can do this!

55 and counting... someone once said to me ....growing older is inevitable, growing up optional ..I look at myself and see a middle aged woman but in my head I'm a hell of a lot younger..

I'm 34, married with a child but I still feel like a kid myself. DH is known as the workplace dad to younger members of his team which is hilarious as they see him as a wise adult. I see us as two confused kids just saying "wtf?!" to life most of the time.

I didn't start to feel grown up till I was about 50.

Things have gone backwards... I don' feel mature anymore...

37 here and still feel like a teenager in my head (often act one like too, which I'm not proud of).
I find I spend a lot of my waking hours reminiscing about the best parts of my life, in my late teenage years and twenties, before I had any responsibilities. A lot of the conversations i have with friends centre around music, products etc from those years. I wonder if I'm clinging onto the past too hard sometimes.

Outside of that, I really don't know. My confidence wanes these days due yo numerous factors but everybody else I know seems to act like adults. I see how much they actually feel like I do after they've had a few vinos though.

Yes I feel this way too OP. Am 37, good job, family new house etc.
Just feel like a bit of an imposter - not really sure how I got here..
I also often feel lazy and unambiguous compared to others - but I don’t think that’s really true

I feel like this. I'm late 30s and feel like a little girl at work, even though I'm reasonably senior. I watched a 24 year old walk into our office, take command and have clear poise, whereas I'm left looking like the worst bits of Mel and Sue (scatty, bad jokes, juvenile but mumsy style). No idea how to be like 'the poised one'.

33, two kids.

I definitely don't feel like a grown up! I'm waiting for that feeling/when will it hit me.

32 with an almost 10 year old child. I'm forever looking for the "adultier adult" in any given situation because it's certainly not me

Early 50's and two nearly adult kids. But absolutely don't feel grown up myself!!! Don't think I've moved on since early 20's 😁.

Still seem to be functioning though. And my kids seem to have survived so far!! But I don't consider myself grown up by any means.

I thought the loss of DM earlier this year would grow me up a bit - but apparently not 🙂

@Woodlandwater

I feel like this. I'm late 30s and feel like a little girl at work, even though I'm reasonably senior. I watched a 24 year old walk into our office, take command and have clear poise, whereas I'm left looking like the worst bits of Mel and Sue (scatty, bad jokes, juvenile but mumsy style). No idea how to be like 'the poised one'.

I can absolutely relate. I am one of the youngest in my team at work, and while this is no issue at all, I feel like I am treated and probably to an extent because I believe I am as you say, the 'young/little girl' in the team. It's difficult isn't it. What does that 24 year old have or has been taught that we don't seem to find or see in ourselves?

I think I can relate but I’m not sure it’s lack of maturity. More that I’m simply not interested in certain things other ‘grown ups’ are (or pretend to be) into.

@Spongeboob

32 with an almost 10 year old child. I'm forever looking for the "adultier adult" in any given situation because it's certainly not me

That ^^

If we are in a position where I'm the most adulty adult, it's not good

@Iamtired123

Do you have older siblings? Im the "baby" in my family and I think that's why I don't feel grown up

Glad to hear we all seem to be winging it together. I'm the oldest sibling :-s Yeah perhaps there's something in that, as the youngest, will you always be treated as the 'baby'?

@Spongeboob

32 with an almost 10 year old child. I'm forever looking for the "adultier adult" in any given situation because it's certainly not me

Oh gosh me too. I just feel that by this age, should I/we be the adultier adult?!