I don't feel grown up / mature

[BeachTree]

Does anyone ever feel immature or perhaps not 'grown up' enough for their age? I am 35, I have a good job that I enjoy, a car, own a small property and live alone. I am single and have no children. I suppose in some respects I feel I am not 'grown up' enough for my age.

When I look around at others of a similar age I feel they appear to me as more mature - they speak well - with confidence and a grown up air/attitude, appear 'sorted' or more 'settled' in life, perhaps children and long term relationships adds to my perceived 'maturity' of other people around me. Maybe it all comes boils down to confidence or lack of. I can't quite put a finger on my reasons. Anyone else feel this way? Thank you

I talked to my mum about this, she's in her early 70s, and she talked about the disconnect she feels when she looks in the mirror and sees a 'little old lady' (her words, I think she looks great!) when inside she feels like teenager.

I'm 54 and am often surprised that I have raised two children to adulthood, have a house, a car and people pay me lots of money to play with 3d models on a computer.

My son's 22yr old gf is far more mature than me. She can do her hair and make up and dresses in nice clothes.

I only started to feel properly grown up when my Mum died in my late 40's. I realised that I was the Nan in the family. Now in my 50's, I've also got the disconnect to how I feel and how I look.

You are mature mentally and emotionally, your holding down a job, standing on your own two feet, running your own home, not stuck with a loser, your not relying on anyone else to bail you out, that shows a degree of strength and maturity.
You should be proud, also time is man made, time does not really exist, change does., we are constantly changing and evolving from the moment we are born, its all good.

@immersivereader

I do remember thinking when the kids were born : 'When are the adults arriving!?!?'

I remember being astounded that I was allowed to leave the hospital with my DS when I'd given birth. When we arrived home I kept looking out of the window waiting for someone to come and tell me there'd been some kind of mistake.

My mum, in her own words "loved her 30s" and in her head, that's the version of herself that she is - at her most confident and successful and "grown up". So I suppose that's her trick.

I'm 31 and swing wildly between no idea what I'm doing and feeling incredibly grown up and old, usually either when we're doing financial planning or house admin or we're deep in the household routine- as set up by me, rather than following anyone elses.

Buying a property made me feel grown up. Not in itself but everything that goes with it- booking in workmen, the way we now have a regular amazon shopping list for household bits & bobs etc. Similarly, we're now planning a wedding & the planning process feels like the "grown up" bits.

Was playing Supercar Top Trumps with my now 12yo DS over Christmas when I found myself telling him excitedly that I was going to get a Lamborghini when I grew up and asking what car he was hoping for.
I honestly forgot I wasn't a young kid for a few minutes till I saw his face.

I don't feel particularly grown up but I don't have any desire to be like the really adulty people I know. I think life must be really boring if you're one of those born 40, everything must be sensible types.

Well, the body may age, but the soul doesn't. Inside, we are all still young.
And I say that as a 66 year old!
Jesus said that, when we enter the kingdom of heaven, we do so as a child - so obviously not as cynical world weary adults.
I think it's rather nice to retain a sense of wonder, youthfulness, and energy rather than become a grumpy old sod. Who wants to grow up?!

I think feeling older is not about what you gain, but what you've lost. That's how it's worked for me anyway. I wish I still felt too youthful.