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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help what do I do.

76 replies

Getyourjinglebellsinarow · 03/01/2022 10:15

H and I have been having trouble. You've told me to leave him. He's gone out and I've put my key in the door.
We're married. We own a company together. We have 7mo DS.
What do I do? He's threatening to take everything off me incl DS. I don't know ow hat to do

OP posts:
Original poster
Getyourjinglebellsinarow · 03/01/2022 10:16

I have a couple of grand and the house is in my name. I don't know if I should just cut and run and leave with nothing or try to keep the house and get some money out the company.

OP posts:
PurpleFlower1983 · 03/01/2022 10:17

Do you have anyone to go to? Pack yours and DS things and go if you can. Remember passports, birth certificates etc. Do you have joint finances?

DropYourSword · 03/01/2022 10:18

I think it would be best to contact a solicitor to discuss what the best course of action would be as you will be able discuss with them your particular circumstances.

PurpleFlower1983 · 03/01/2022 10:19

He can’t take everything off you, ignore his threats. You should be entitled to 50%.

Original poster
Getyourjinglebellsinarow · 03/01/2022 10:20

And we've got a dog. I don't trust him alone with them. We have a joint account and I have a personal account but most of the outgoings for the house and stuff come from me. He doesn't contribute much. He has huge savings I can't touch

OP posts:
PurpleFlower1983 · 03/01/2022 10:20

@DropYourSword

I think it would be best to contact a solicitor to discuss what the best course of action would be as you will be able discuss with them your particular circumstances.
After seeing your update about the house I would agree. It may be difficult today though. Are you safe?
FreedomFaith · 03/01/2022 10:20

He's saying that to scare you. Stay put, the house is yours and you deserve money from the company. He won't take your son, he'd then have to do everything. Just ignore him and contact a solicitor, and tell him to contact your solicitor only.

PurpleFlower1983 · 03/01/2022 10:21

@Getyourjinglebellsinarow

And we've got a dog. I don't trust him alone with them. We have a joint account and I have a personal account but most of the outgoings for the house and stuff come from me. He doesn't contribute much. He has huge savings I can't touch
Is there paper evidence of this anywhere that you could photograph?
Horseradish01 · 03/01/2022 10:23

Unless you are in danger, absolutely do not leave your house. Seek legal advice before you do anything

Original poster
Getyourjinglebellsinarow · 03/01/2022 10:23

I don't feel safe no. But I don't want to be homeless, DS needs his home

OP posts:
Thatsplentyjack · 03/01/2022 10:23

@PurpleFlower1983

Do you have anyone to go to? Pack yours and DS things and go if you can. Remember passports, birth certificates etc. Do you have joint finances?
Why would she leave her own house? OP if the house is solely in your name then stay. Do not leave yourself with nothing! He can not take your son away, however if you let him see your son and he decides not to hand him back, there's nothing the police can do about it if there's no visitation order in place. You need to speak to a solicitor right away.
Sarahlou63 · 03/01/2022 10:23

His threats are not truths, please remember that.

Talk to a solicitor as a matter of urgency.

If you don't want him back in the house then tell him before he gets home and (potentially) makes a scene.

Keep texts, emails and record any phone calls in case you need to involve the police.

Original poster
Getyourjinglebellsinarow · 03/01/2022 10:25

I've phographed his savings and asked h to go to his mums

OP posts:
Thatsplentyjack · 03/01/2022 10:25

If he is threatening violence OP, call the police. Is he coming to the door?

Londonr · 03/01/2022 10:27

It depends on why your leaving. If you and your child are not safe then you leave ASAP. There is help out there to find you somewhere safe to stay.

you can then sort out the house and stuff that's yours. Just because you leave it does not mean you can't fight for what's yours .

Aprilx · 03/01/2022 10:28

Why would she leave her own house

Well one good reason would be if she is in danger.

She mentions H so I assume they are married, in which case it is the marital home and he has as much right to be there as she does regardless of whose name it is in. Safety first, house can be dealt with later.

Original poster
Getyourjinglebellsinarow · 03/01/2022 10:29

I can't afford a solicitor though?

OP posts:
PurpleFlower1983 · 03/01/2022 10:32

@Thatsplentyjack Safety firstly. But I did update after I saw the house was hers. If she is unsafe she should absolutely be leaving regardless though!

foodaddict21 · 03/01/2022 10:32

Are you entitled to legal aid OP? Or any family that can help with costs? You can do this. Just keep yourself safe. Xxx

Dillydollydingdong · 03/01/2022 10:34

If the house is in your name and you've got DC to look after, it's unlikely you'd have to give up half of it to dh. Especially if he's got substantial savings. You might even be entitled to a share of the savings. Don't listen to him, and don't listen when he says "my solicitor says".

Original poster
Getyourjinglebellsinarow · 03/01/2022 10:37

If the company has 50k in the bank is it fair if I just want half of that and he can have the company? It profits about 10k a month so I'm not wiping it out but I can do plenty with 25k.

OP posts:
Original poster
Getyourjinglebellsinarow · 03/01/2022 10:37

He has 2 other properties so if I just want the house that's fair

OP posts:
Unsure33 · 03/01/2022 10:39

Speak to a family law solicitor. You will get a free session initially .

Even if the house is in your name if you are married then you need to check your position .

Presumably you have equity in the house.

Original poster
Getyourjinglebellsinarow · 03/01/2022 10:39

The police station isn't far away and I don't think our neighbours would stand by while he kicked the door down.

I'm so and at myself for bring DS into this

OP posts:
Unsure33 · 03/01/2022 10:40

It will take a long time to untangle the finances. So one thing at a time for now.

Just because a company has money in the bank does not mean it’s “ free money”

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