I've called the police. He's gonna go fucking apeshit when they come
Well done. That took courage, I know (been there, done that ...)
Just remember - if he goes apeshit with police as witnesses, he will have just made your life a hell of a lot easier. You can then apply for an immediate non-mol to keep him away from you & out of your home. The cops will advise you on this. Stay strong!
You are brave, resourceful, & intelligent.
The next few weeks are going to be rocky, but here you are, at he start of your path to freedom.
You are in a much stronger position than you imagine.
Financially, you own 50% (at least - could be more, given DS) of the assets. So pay no mind to his ridiculous threats to "take it all away from you.".
Security-wise - he is now going to be on the police's radar. That's obviously good for you, but also good in terms of how the divorce is handled, because -
With regards to DS: you can already demonstrate that you have done 99% of the childcare. If you are breastfeeding, the courts will not mandate nights away from you. Add the fact that you had to call the police to your home because of H, & the courts will have a complete picture of why you need to be resident parent.
Abusive men often threaten to "take the kids".
That's all it is - an empty threat.
It sounds like he wouldn't know where to even start looking after his own son, There's no way he's suddenly going to become father of the year - this is just more control, & him enjoying making you scared.
So stay resolute.
Also, book an appointment with the police DV officer, ask about getting a marker on your phone so that they know exactly who you are & why you are likely to be calling, if your number comes up on their system.
I'm not saying this to frighten you - it's just sensible precaution ... plus, a paper trail - useful evidence for your lawyer to use in the divorce proceedings.
And YES - you need to be this cold & clear headed about it.